Girl in work is recking my head-rant

Kingkong

She is one of my seniors, I am at a junior level and she is doing my head in. No matter what i do its wrong either not what she wanted or some silly thing no one else would care about is wrong.:mad:

Her attitude is what annoys me the most. She treats me like a child and takes pleasure in pointing out a mistake and goes on about it for 5 mins. Its got to a stage I no longer care what she says as she obviously has no respect for me or manners.

Very tempted to bring it up with my manager but at the end of the day im a junior and she is my senior so just going have to deal wit it for now!!

Handsome Bob

Kingkong wrote: »

She is one of my seniors, I am at a junior level and she is doing my head in. No matter what i do its wrong either not what she wanted or some silly thing no one else would care about is wrong.:mad:

Her attitude is what annoys me the most. She treats me like a child and takes pleasure in pointing out a mistake and goes on about it for 5 mins. Its got to a stage I no longer care what she says as she obviously has no respect for me or manners.

Very tempted to bring it up with my manager but at the end of the day im a junior and she is my senior so just going have to deal wit it for now!!

This is happening in an Office? Jesus, when I worked in SuperValu I was treated like a child, but not when I worked in an Office.

Have you got any witnesse's that can back-up your claims of mistreatment?

mikemac

Welcome to the working world OP, this goes on in most offices.
And what you'll find is women are far more likely to send petty emails and a hundred "any update?" or "sort this now" emails.

Nothing worse then getting nasty emails from someone who sits beside you but doesn't have the balls to even talk to you.

Give a women a bit of power and ...................

Of course not all are like this
Easy solution OP. Next time she calls over hand her a HR grievance form (all offices have one) and tell her to fill that up and take it to HR if she has a problem. Then head off for a coffee.

I wouldn't esculate it as she'll turn it around that you're incompetant and need supervision. Let her take it further

Explosive_Cornflake

micmclo wrote: »

Easy solution OP. Next time she calls over hand her a HR grievance form (all offices have one) and tell her to fill that up and take it to HR if she has a problem. Then head off for a coffee.

I wouldn't esculate it as she'll turn it around that you're incompetant and need supervision. Let her take it further

That's actually a very good idea.

enda1

Kingkong wrote: »

She is one of my seniors, I am at a junior level and she is doing my head in. No matter what i do its wrong either not what she wanted or some silly thing no one else would care about is wrong.:mad:

Her attitude is what annoys me the most. She treats me like a child and takes pleasure in pointing out a mistake and goes on about it for 5 mins. Its got to a stage I no longer care what she says as she obviously has no respect for me or manners.

Very tempted to bring it up with my manager but at the end of the day im a junior and she is my senior so just going have to deal wit it for now!!

I think she likes you

john_aero

well i would just say something to her about her attitude towards you and ask does she have an issue with your work. then email your HR manager or supervisor who ever your go to i your job that you will be calling over to discuss a problem you are having with abuse by another employee. that mean you have your complaint in writing and on file in your email and the person will be ready to discuss the whole situation with you.

one point is cover your ass, put everything in email before and after conversations just. even if it it a case of sendign an email after talkiong to HR station.... prior to our discussion we have clarified that blah blah blah.

john_aero

also just noticed you comment about her being senior and your junior, that is a bonus if anything as higher up the line they will have more respect for people who stand up for themselves and are willing to tackle people who others may feel are superior to them and threatened by position.

was in the same position myself, just get the words sorted in your head and then go for it. sometimes being further up the ladder and having a complaint brought against you can be more destructive to their jobs that if same complaint was towards juniour staff

Tommy the Cat

Obviously not all women are hell to work under, just all the ones I've had the pleasure of meeting.

wasper

Kingkong wrote: »

She is one of my seniors, I am at a junior level and she is doing my head in. No matter what i do its wrong either not what she wanted or some silly thing no one else would care about is wrong.:mad:

Her attitude is what annoys me the most. She treats me like a child and takes pleasure in pointing out a mistake and goes on about it for 5 mins. Its got to a stage I no longer care what she says as she obviously has no respect for me or manners.

Very tempted to bring it up with my manager but at the end of the day im a junior and she is my senior so just going have to deal wit it for now!!

Unfortunately women tend to be more into demonstrating 'who is in charge here' mentality. While men are more into delegating tasks. Before the female brigade becomes agitated. I speak from 24 years of work experience. I have worked for men & women. But I would rather be working for a man.

CapnMark

I left my last job because of people like this. She was much more senior than me. Basically she was trying to turn me into miniature version of herself. Reports have to be done the exact way she had done them in the past etc even if it goes against company best practices.

The solution for me was to leave and give a damning assessment of their management ability at the exit interview. Subsequently learned that this person was the reason that the previous position holder left and the person that replaced me aswell.

Life is too short to be wasted working for people like this. If you can get out from under her then do so.

stovelid

wasper wrote: »

Unfortunately women tend to be more into demonstrating 'who is in charge here' mentality.

Did you ever consider that women may have to act like ball-breakers when managing men because a lot of men have these kind of preconceived notions about women bosses?

OP - I've worked in 3 offices up to now (I.T admittedly) and have dealt with female seniors (I'm a man) in all of them with no problem, so I think it's a colleague issue, not a gender one.

Could you try having a polite word with her about the way she is treating you. If this doesn't work, take it to H.R.

Karen_*

Obviously this woman is a very bad manager. Manager does not equal bully. I'd start looking for something else if I were you. If she's like you say then you won't be the first one to leave because of her.

It would be soul destroying to stay and lifes too short. I know her kind and I really don't know what their problem is.

briantwin

I had a similar problem with an old manager. The way i got it to stop was to get a notebook and everytime she started on one of her rants i'd look at my watch jot down the time and the jist of what she was harping on about. After doing this for a couple of days she asked what i was doing and i said just jotting down a few notes. Then whenever she came over with that look on her face out came the notebook till eventually after a few weeks she just fúcked off and only bothered me when necessary!!

I think she became concerned that maybe she had been at me too much and i'd been taking note of every single time which is a nice bit of evidence to have when approaching HR.

DublinWriter

john_aero wrote: »

one point is cover your ass, put everything in email before and after conversations just. even if it it a case of sendign an email after talkiong to HR station.... prior to our discussion we have clarified that blah blah blah.

Not only that OP, I can't stress how important it is to keep a daily journal of what is happening just in case it escalates higher.

Kingkong

Thanks. Im goin to keep a note of any incidents and if it does not stop ill take it from there. She isnt a manager just a senior but her style of dealing with co workers is apalling. It seems to be a mood thing wit her aswell, yesterday she was bein a complete bit**h today she is all nice!

damnyanks

I've always found getting drunk with annoying / stupid / ****ty colleagues to be a good ice breaking scenario.

People are muppets to people they dont like / know.

People are usually nice to people they do know

Of course it may make her hate you more.

john_aero

as already said keep record in diary.

i cam back from a trip for 2 months and found i had been landed rightly in it and had some much blame put on me. so i have all the conversations and decisions made written down so icould hold it against them when they did try blame me.

also helps you figure out what sort work you had been doing in the past if your applying for new job

MsFifers

In response to the sexist comments that women are worse bosses, I would just like to state that having been managed by both men and women I found the men managers to be bitcher, take everything more personally, much more likely to feel threatened by other people.

The women managers I was priviledged to work for however, were competent, hard working, focussed and great leaders!

Just my experience!

It is possible that as women generally are more details oriented that they annoy people who prefer a more relaxed attitude.

I only started managing people last year and I have to say - you think your managers are annoying?! Try leading people who think they are doing you a favour by just showing up! Nothing worse than being responsible for other people's output when they just don't give a sh**!

OK - thats my rant over!
(Not saying thats you OP or other posters!)

seamus

MsFifers, from having spoken to people, your experience seems to be the exception.

My boss is a woman and she rocks, for the record.

TBH OP, her behaviour reminds me of a boss I had back when I was 16/17. Nothing was ever good enough, the slightest mistake was used as a reason why I couldn't be trusted. Everything seemed to be menstrual or at least hormonal - some days she'd be a thundering bitch and I couldn't wait to get out and other days she was all sweetness and light and bringing back McDonalds to me for lunch.

As a result of her complete madness, I was afraid (I was only 16) to make any decisions so would usually ask her what to do her and there and so forth. And then she went and complained to one of the higher-ups that I had no intiative.

So to a certain extent it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy; You underperform because you're expecting her to shout you down at every little thing.

Having discussed it with various people, the only conclusion we could come to was jealousy - I was 17, going to do my leaving cert, mostly able to do her job (and even knowing more about it in certain aspects), whereas she was mid-20's, had never done her leaving and had been doing this job for 3 years without so much as a promotion (she was only in charge because the boss was on maternity leave). So she saw me as a threat and did her best to keep me down.

Which is the only conclusion I can come to for you OP; She sees you as a threat - she wants to stay as top dog. Unless you are genuinely crap at your job Do the other juniors look up to you or go to you when they've questions?

I would suggest that aside from keeping notes in the diary, just remember that she can't get you fired. Impressing her won't get you any more money or improve your career prospects.

Try to sniff out what your colleagues think about her, without bitching about her. If everyone has similar issues, then she's less likely to get away with the, "He's crap" line, if you need to make a complaint.

JoeyW

I'm in the very same position as you, King Kong, and it's so frustrating. My boss treats me like an imbocile when most of the time I know what I'm talking about and she hasn't a clue. I've never had a manager like her. She has no personality, no sense of humour, can't even send an email or use the phone and she treats me like I'm 6 and makes a huge deal out of something as small as a typing error! I have daydreams of grabbing her head and banging it against my desk a million times while she's droning on and on about the most stupid thing ever. Grrr. The worse thing is it's a good, pensionable, permanent Government job and with the times that are ahead of us, I can't afford to leave. If I can hold out for another 10 years, she'll be retiring!!

BC

To be honest it sounds like she's just correcting your mistakes.
If she's your senior thats probably her job. Maybe concentrate on making less of them rather than giving out that she wants things done right.

Rayven199

I actually see that alot in the office I work in,I'm the receptionist and I see the way some of the juniors are treated and to be honest, if it were me id just leave.

Thats not a solution by any means, especially if this is your career, Id go to the MD and voice my complaint.

Kingkong

Wow Im surprised that quiet a couple of people have had similar experiences. It really shows that bullying within the workplace is still an issue. I get on with the other juniors on my floor and they do ask me a lot of questions so I think that i must be some what approachable to others!

Can I ask the managers here and those in charge of supervising staff what they find frustrating as their is probably things I cud do to improve the situation aswell.

Moojuice

Work place bullying is usually taken very seriously. Keep a note of everything as already suggested and make a complaint about work place bullying. No one should have to put up with that kind of treatment.

trowelled

My last site director was always giving out about something or other. It was very frustrating and at first I did akin it to bullying but he was just very particular and wanted everything done his way. At times he did give out about stupid things which were just ridiculous like stating to a colleague that he did not like her handwriting (it wasn't illegible he just didn't like it). He only said this because he got caught out with his original complaint to her (when he asked about something being left out of a drawing she reminded him that she had already explained the reasoning behind it). Once things were done to his requirements he was complimentary, he had a system that worked for him and he just wanted it kept that way.

Anyway perhaps she just has a particular way of doing things and if this is the case then just ask her upfront what exactly it is she wants. However, if it is the case that she is picking on you then yes it would be advisable to keep a diary and go to HR with the problem.