How to meet/make contact with Irish guys

Curlypinkie

Well people, as discussed in another thread, I'm not Irish and I find it difficult to make contact with Irish fellas. Didn't know where to put it so here it is in PI.
I would say it's a bit of a cultural difference problem.

Now I love ol' Coppers for a good Failte madness session but I'm not sure that's the right kind of connection I want to make with anyone at this stage.

I don't drink very often but I do go out to pubs and clubs and I socialize a helluva lot. I've got a few girl friends but also one or two male friends. I've tried to ask friends if they know any single guys that would be interested in a date or two to get to know me but they don't know any 'eligible bachelors' so no connection through friends either...

Well the point is, do I wait for someone to chat me up or do I walk over and do it myself? I'm thinking, won't the guys think I'm easy or anything? Or is it appropriate? I think it's really strange I don't get chatted up. I have almost a perma smile on me when out, because I enjoy myself so much and am not twee bad looking. So what to do???

And oh, I tried the internet dating site thingy. Just... no.

Phlann

lol

Prepare to spend the rest of your life answering PMs from guys on here.

I don't think guys will think you're easy if you go up and chat to them in a pub or club. Most guys would just be flattered by it. And sure if it's not going well or if you think he's gotten the wrong idea you always have the option of walking away. No harm done.

"I just have to go find my friends"

^ Memorise that line for a quick get-away

Phlann

Phlann wrote: »

I don't think guys will think you're easy if you go up and chat to them in a pub or club.

You have to be willing to go beyond this. If the opportunity arises chat to a guy anywhere. Don't be closed to opportunity. I'm sure your smiling face will win most of us over:D

magick

well id aviod meeting anyone in a pub or club, but why not see when the next Dublin boards beers are on at? try the Dublin forum to find out, im sure you would have a great time with them.

Phlann

Deleted User wrote: »

You have to be willing to go beyond this. If the opportunity arises chat to a guy anywhere. Don't be closed to opportunity. I'm sure your smiling face will win most of us over:D

You're probably right, but tbh I've never been all that comfortable with being chatted up or asked out outside of the 'normal' situations (normal by Irish standards, that is. ie work or out at night).

There's a time and a place and in the queue in Centra at lunchtime is neither. I just wanna get my roll and leave, dammit!

Maybe that's just me though.

Reesy

Hmmm,

How about you try doing an evening class (ideally something with a decent amount of student interaction & where you can expect most of the attendees to be male.. e.g. not yoga), or join a hillwalking club? Seems many Irish guys are quite shy with women while sober so maybe it's best to try something where the initial interaction is kinda organized.

SCUBA diving? Skydiving? Any interest in cars? Most car-related clubs seem to be 90% men.

What d'you think? Suit you? Whatever you decide, do come back & tell us how you got on.

LolaLuv

CurlyPinkie, we need an "Introducing foreigners to the natives" boards beers, ftw!!

MIN2511

Very nice thread OP, am pretty sad so it made me smile.

I do understand what you mean especially about cultural difference, funny a lot of people say it doesn't matter but they'ld rather date someone from their own culture...
Some lads want some "foreign score" and you think you like them and want more but find out they have OH.
Ah, its not a win win situation.

My advice is: Stop thinking about it. Try to make friends first, have fun and it would come to you.
When you think much about it, it affects you and you end up expecting a relationship from every guy you kiss then you get disappointed when nothing comes out of it.

Meeting guys in pubs/bars/nightclub: yes it's interesting and all, i personally would not approach a guy first(even after eye contact) but if you can... My dear fire away, some people appreciate it and others don't. You just have to find out

Goodluck!!

LolaLuv

I don't know about the OP, but the last thing I'd want during a year abroad is to fall in love, that would be heart-breaking. But fun and flirtation is always nice.

Curly, where are you from?

Curlypinkie

PillyPen wrote: »

CurlyPinkie, we need an "Introducing foreigners to the natives" boards beers, ftw!!

LoL, brilliant idea!

Thanks for you input guys.

I'm big into sports, so go to Croker now and again. I've even gone on my own. But I think when going on me tod I just feel really vulnerable and also, I'm there to watch the game and not sort of scan the crowd for men on their own to prey on... hunting season like. Or would it still be ok?

Xyo

oh jaysus don't come between a man and hurling whatever you do.. on the other point though I can't imagine any man being put off by an attractive girl approaching him to chat.

LolaLuv

Xyo wrote: »

on the other point though I can't imagine any man being put off by an attractive girl approaching him to chat.

Ok, and *hypothetically*, if the girl weighed a solid 300 and had skin like a pepperoni pizza? :rolleyes:

MIN2511

PillyPen wrote: »

I don't know about the OP, but the last thing I'd want during a year abroad is to fall in love, that would be heart-breaking. But fun and flirtation is always nice.

Curly, where are you from?

Cant see anywhere that the OP is on a year abroad???


OP, if you are not doing anything you should come to the beers in d2... If the boards lads are not to yer taste there would be other lads... It's also a nice way of making new friends and obviously putting name to faces:D

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055358440

Curlypinkie

Xyo wrote: »

oh jaysus don't come between a man and hurling whatever you do.. on the other point though I can't imagine any man being put off by an attractive girl approaching him to chat.

Or a man and his hurley, lol.

But yeah, lots of the lads are in big groups and the ones that aren't usually want the game to start now now now.
I getya

Xyo

Depends what said guy defines as attractive doesn't it.. if thats his thing then happy days.

LolaLuv

Yeah, you're right, she might be there longer.

nocal

I would say to just start talking to guys wherever and whenever you get the chance. Do not come across as too eager (it will either reek of desperation or scare the bejaysus out of them). Start off friendly and then start to flirt a little if it seems to be going well.

As for going to Croke Park on your own - fair play to you - I thought I was the only one who did that!!!

Curlypinkie

I've been here for almost 4 years and I plan on staying. For an unspecified while anyway.

Dave147

So OP where are you from then? It sounds like you're from an English speaking country like South Africa or something because your grammar is better than most of boards lol! Personally I love foreign women, they bring something new to the table and are much more exotic than Irish.. to me anyway, obviously.

There's a friend of mine who I used be involved with and she used rarely be chatted up in clubs, she was ridiculously hot and guys were intimidated, that was my judgement.. maybe it's the same for you?? :D:D

Wibbs

Irish men? The place is jam packed with the buggers. The odds are in your favour. Well of finding one anyway. Finding one you like? That's a taller order, but that's pretty much the same anywhere really and is something that has concerned men and women of all countries and times. The greater the circle of people you meet the chances go higher. It really is a numbers game. It's really not rocket science although sometimes it may feel that way. Even if you don't find what you want immediately the journey should prove worthwhile.

Wibbs

Mod hat on. Harrumph etc. PI is not a dating forum so keep on topic in a very general way. Any guff along the lines of "hey baby check me out" will be not welcomed or indeed tolerated.

who007

Curlypinkie wrote: »

Well people, as discussed in another thread, I'm not Irish and I find it difficult to make contact with Irish fellas. Didn't know where to put it so here it is in PI.
I would say it's a bit of a cultural difference problem.

Now I love ol' Coppers for a good Failte madness session but I'm not sure that's the right kind of connection I want to make with anyone at this stage.

I don't drink very often but I do go out to pubs and clubs and I socialize a helluva lot. I've got a few girl friends but also one or two male friends. I've tried to ask friends if they know any single guys that would be interested in a date or two to get to know me but they don't know any 'eligible bachelors' so no connection through friends either...

Well the point is, do I wait for someone to chat me up or do I walk over and do it myself? I'm thinking, won't the guys think I'm easy or anything? Or is it appropriate? I think it's really strange I don't get chatted up. I have almost a perma smile on me when out, because I enjoy myself so much and am not twee bad looking. So what to do???

And oh, I tried the internet dating site thingy. Just... no.

Have you thought about thye old fashioned way? Through a common interest.. sports club or something? Nearly every club there is has socials and members whose friends attend sometimes etc.. can expand your social life fairly rapidly after a while if you stick with it a while..

Curlypinkie

lol
Thanks Wibbs

LolaLuv

So then there's a general consensus that Irish men, in general, don't get creeped out by a woman approaching them?

PillyPen

PillyPen wrote: »

So then there's a general consensus that Irish men, in general, don't get creeped out by a woman approaching them?

We'd be suspicious at first but if it was done well I think you'll get nothing but positive responses. Some men love the chase, just as some women love to be chased, but remember that those people aren't really good matches for you anyway and the kind of guy who responds in a way you find attractive probably will be the sort of guy you are looking for.

Whatever happens good luck with it.:D I foresee nothing but good things for you.

MIN2511

PillyPen wrote: »

So then there's a general consensus that Irish men, in general, don't get creeped out by a woman approaching them?

It depends....

It's all about tactics;)

LolaLuv

Heh, I think I can keep my tactics toned down. Someone mentioned in the thread this one derived from that the approach was "too American", which implied sort of a negative thing and made me nervous. I wouldn't want to do something that made me seem like a walking stereotype. When in Rome and all that...

PillyPen

PillyPen wrote: »

Heh, I think I can keep my tactics toned down. Someone mentioned in the thread this one derived from that the approach was "too American", which implied sort of a negative thing and made me nervous. I wouldn't want to do something that made me seem like a walking stereotype. When in Rome and all that...

Not hitting on you but... I love American women. I am sure many guys do. You will be hit with the nonsense stereotypes a lot but no more than when I go to America and get the usual guff.

Embrace you are an exotic proposition and enjoy the "charm" of us Irish guys:rolleyes:

MIN2511

Typical conversation
girl = foreigner
guy = irish lad

girl: smile, flirts... gives eye contact and finally musters courage and approaces the guy

guy: ****... she's coming to talk to me

girl: 'makes conversation'

guy: where are you from

girl:

1. America = dumb!:)
2. Australia = travelling, quick shag;)
3. British = feck off already:rolleyes:
4. Other EU = hmm, she probably has some bf lurking:eek:
5. Asian = marriage/gf material
6. African = run, aids is real!:eek: / marriage

At this point most lads have already made their minds where they expect this conversation to lead to....

Stereotype!!!!
Its complicated!!

Wibbs

PillyPen wrote: »

So then there's a general consensus that Irish men, in general, don't get creeped out by a woman approaching them?

Depends on the man and depends on the woman. I would say that at the very least there is nothing quite so attractive or notable as a woman who finds one attractive. If he's a muppet he'll react badly. If he's shy you may not see him react. If he's level headed enough he'll likely react back. In all cases he'll be happy enough for the attention. In which case play on, no harm done.

I would say(IMHO) that both Irish men and Irish women are not as comfortable or practiced as some other cultures in the dating scene and that can come across as awkwardness. I would also say (again IMHO) that both Irish men and women seem to do better in general with non Irish partners.

LolaLuv

Deleted User wrote: »

Not hitting on you but... I love American women. I am sure many guys do. You will be hit with the nonsense stereotypes a lot but no more than when I go to America and get the usual guff.

Embrace you are an exotic proposition and enjoy the "charm" of us Irish guys:rolleyes:

I was hoping there would be some men with things for American women! It's always nice to be a novelty. But then there are so many dipshit Americans who give the rest of us a bad name all around the world that one never really knows what to expect. Then the other thread made me a bit nervous, so thanks for the reassurance!

LolaLuv

MIN2511 wrote: »

Typical conversation
girl = foreigner
guy = irish lad

girl: smile, flirts... gives eye contact and finally musters courage and approaces the guy

guy: ****... she's coming to talk to me

girl: 'makes conversation'

guy: where are you from

girl:

1. America = dumb!:)
2. Australia = travelling, quick shag;)
3. British = feck off already:rolleyes:
4. Other EU = hmm, she probably has some bf lurking:eek:
5. Asian = marriage/gf material
6. African = run, aids is real!:eek: / marriage

At this point most lads have already made their minds where they expect this conversation to lead to....

Its complicated!!

Lol, that's horrifying and hilarious at the same time! So in order to buck the stereotype I should open up the introductions with a discussion of cold fusion? :P Eh, I honestly don't really care if a guy gives me the cold shoulder because I'm an American. It will give me instant insight as to what sort of a person he is, so it's sort of a bonus, really.

Wibbs wrote: »

I would also say (again IMHO) that both Irish men and women seem to do better in general with non Irish partners.

Interesting. Why do you think that is?

Wibbs

PillyPen wrote: »

Interesting. Why do you think that is?

Difference is usually attractive and can be good or bad depending, but it's a topic for humanities, TLL or AH if you're feeling brave. Not really for this forum.

ElvisP

something for other guys out there (i really AM too nice)

did a night course last year and was walking past the 'Car Maintenance' class. CHOCK FULL of ladies. nice ladies. curse my poor choices.

advice to ladies who want to strike up a conv with 'guy in pub/club'.
smile and say hello. it's that simple. give us some encouragement ladies.

Wibbs

ElvisP wrote: »

advice to ladies who want to strike up a conv with 'guy in pub/club'.
smile and say hello. it's that simple. give us some encouragement ladies.

Pretty much answered the topic right there.

AnonoBoy

While not used to it I have to say I have been extremely flattered when approached and chatted to by foreign girls (actually any girls! - but foreign girls are the only ones that have hit on me without prompting).

In fact I have fond fond memories and am still pining after one particular foreign girl who I had a brief fling with last year before geography and circumstance got in the blasted way.

So - approach and chat up OP. If they get freaked out then move on to real Irish men that can take the shock of an attractive girl actually being proactive in getting what she wants!

ElvisP

just on the off chance, anybody out there know the polish girl who works in foreign exchange in BOI in dean's grange? very friendly + very cute. reckon i'll have to get some more foreign currency to give me an excuse to talk to her again

ElvisP

Wibbs wrote: »

Pretty much answered the topic right there.

Why thank you Mr Wibbs (or Ms/Mrs)

Wibbs

ElvisP off topic stuff like that second last post is against the charter of this forum.

seahorse

Wibbs wrote: »

I would also say (again IMHO) that both Irish men and women seem to do better in general with non Irish partners.

Couldn’t disagree more Wibbs, but that would be based only on what I've seen personally.

Curlypinkie

Thanks everybody for the honest replies.

I am chuffed to know that yez guys would be flattered if a girl (of normal appearance btw, on the tall side) approached.

To answer where I'm from, well let's say the Northern hemisphere but when talking I can fool anyone into being born somewhere in Dublin.
So, the language is mastered, I will just have to fight my horrific shyness, face the fact that I go the colour of fresh strawberries when chatting to the opposite $ex and go and meet some nice Irish fellas.

Wibbs

Practice makes perfect. What's the worse that can happen? You go red like a strawberry? Not the worst thing by a long shot and with nice blokes it'll be seen as sweet. With knobends their reaction will be a good indicator of you dodging a bullet. Try and increase your circle socially if you can and see where it all takes you.

Liam Byrne

Hey, if you're geniune and "normal" - i.e. no marraige talk after first date and no talking about being TOO casual and seeing other guys (crikey, I've picked 'em badly lately, haven't I ??? ) then as said above, just say hi and have a chat....

Not sure if I'm a "typical" guy (well, I probably am, but I don't fit the stereotypes) but I do know that "she's fairly good-looking" turns into proper attraction if you can actually talk to someone and have a laugh and "click" a bit.....