How do I snap out of this

Cato2605

Firstly to explain I am usually a get up and go person. I am not the type of person to allow myself to wallow in self pity or feel sorry for myself. I do have my low points but usually I am able to shake myself out of it.

Suppose why I am posting this is this time I cant seem to snap myself out of this particular low point or phase. I have felt down in the dumps since June now and am concerned it is more that just a low point or feeling down.

I feel I need to explain myself. In my late teens and early 20's I was very shy and self concious. But in the last few years I have done well in my job and made some good friends. Found the confidence to go to pubs and clubs, something which used to scare the hell out of me. I have put myself out there.

I have never been in a serious relationship, but again in the last few years I have been on dates, seen a few really nice guys. The relationships have just never worked out. Usually I am fine with this, thinking I will find someone when the time is right.

Then in June met a guy, I actually took a risk and got his number off a friend and asked him out. Something which was a big thing for me, but I thought hey why not take a risk. We went out a couple of time but nothing came of it.

For some reason since then I have been depressed, not sure if thats the right word. I am feeling very low about myself, like I am not worth much. I have just found out I failed my exams and now I am just thinking what is the point.

I have all these idea now, like I want to travel, get fit again etc. But I have no get up and go.

I am always there for my family, baby sitting, lending money, driving people everywhere. But I feel none of them return the favour. I also do voluntary work. I suppose I am just wondering nothing good every really happens for me so why should i do all the other things i do for other people. (not the right attitude i know, very selfish)

I just want someone to take an interest in me, to ask me how my day went. I feel like people do not notice me or see me. I have always thought it was better to be invisible but now i am tired of that.

Again as I said usually when I feel this way I can bring myself out of it. But I just dont know what to do or turn it around. Maybe by even writting this it has helped.

I am just really browned off and tired of life. Help me see the silver lining.

dr.bollocko

Just try and ride out the epic mediocrity of seeing yourself wish half your life away until a time comes when you finally have what you want, or finally know how to get it.

ThE_IVIAcIVIAIV

we all feel low at times but if your always feeling low its a problem.
its good that you are getting out more and socializing etc


i used to feel like nobody noticed me before but now i've grown up a bit and lost my innocence and talk about more grown up things and lost most of my immaturity. i used to only have a handful of friends but now i can't get enough of them.

i personally feel if you are kept busy and out of the house and not much time for feeling ''low'' or frowning about your life , things will get better. do you work/have a job? if not get one, the more people you talk to and the more friends you make the better i think. you will feel very good if you always have people saluting you everywhere you go . just make an effort, find a friend to go to the gym with you to get fit again as you talked about , listen to other peoples interests and pay an interest in people and they will do the same to you. i can't think of much more to say but i hope this helps! good luck!

Curlypinkie

Hey, I've been there. And you know what? Start appreciating yourself. You're a wonderful person, you're helping out people in need, you're helping out your family. Especially families can be horribly unthankful and take things for granted, that's no news.

You have to love yourself for what you're doing and you have to take things at your own pace. It seems like you have so many ideas, you have so much potential!!!! But, slowly, don't think of doing everything at once. Take one thing. For example the traveling. Start thinking of where you want to go? Where can you afford to go? Do you need to maybe do some work in between? Then start thinking what you would like to/need to do in order to get that job.
Try to find a source of the plan/issue and then work from that. Start from the very beginning if you need to, you're only young. Don't worry you haven't passed your exams, there's lots more chances to pass those. Or maybe you want that as your priority?

Sit down, think and then decide what you want to do first. It might just be to take a walk on your own to clean the cobwebs and make a fresh start.

Good luck and don't worry. If need to, try to talk to somebody you look up to. That always helps, even if you barely know that person, they'll be flattered to mentor you, trust me.

Ainekav

yeah OP ive felt like this before and it can be such a feat to try and drag yourself out of it. i think talking to someone definitely works wonders, and even writing here what u feel. i think maybe travelling would be a great idea if u can arrange it. you need to realise that this stage in your life will pass, there is a good time coming be it ever so far away (sign outside doyles pub,always helps me!) try and motivate yourself, get up earlier, i find if you hang around the house or do anything monotonous like that itll hinder your progress. so try and avoid the moping around bit. you sound like a lovely person from what youve said about being there for your loved ones. you need to go easy on yourself a bit, you will get out of this rut, it will take a bit of time though, so dont berate yourself because its not happening overnight. i think you need to meet some new people, firstly because you seem lonely and also because you feel underappreciated by the people that are already around you. so why dont you just head out and join a gym, start some sort of sport/social activity. or if you decided to travel youd meet tons of new people!

youre not being selfish, youre just tired of being taken for granted which is totally normal. think about refusing the odd lift, or babysitting job. youre putting other people first, which was grand before, but now is the time you need to concentrate on yourself. theyll survive-you are not there for their use. this may seem harsh but there is no way you will be able to look after yourself properly when youre too busy tending to everyone else.

you need to take time for yourself, time to relax, time to socialise, travel, whatever it is you want to do. the fact that you have been able to pull yourself out of this kind of thing before means it will be that much easier for you to do it this time round again. i dont really know wat else to tell ya, but trust me, this will pass, provided you take time to look after yourself and put yourself first, tend to your own needs etc. travelling i think might do you the world of good, even just a few weeks. it should change your perspective on life as well as opening up more avenues to you.

good luck let us know how youre getting on. sorry my "your" and "you're" are all confused..

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

I would just like to thank everyone for their advice. I am feeling alot more positive now and have taken on board your advice. I am not 100% there, but feel that I am on the right track.

Thanks a million!
Cato2605

Burial

First off, failing your exams mean nothing. Just go back and try again! It isn't the end of the world that you have to do them again! My friend failed his exams 3 years ago, and has since matured and made sure he never failed again as a result.

Secondly, I have a feeling that the mixture of failing the exams and that guy in June is making you feel low. The failing of the exams is troubling you because it was a steady laid-out plan that you'd pass, and that didn't work out. And even the opposite side of the coin, a totally new experience for you that didn't work out. Just speculation by me, but you should view this as a new outlook on your life. It's horrid feeling like this, but the best is to come out from it better than before. For example, you met a new guy by doing something you wouldn't have done! So try something completely different!

Thirdly, I think you should lay off the voluntary work and the giving to your family for awhile. I mean, being nice to them is great, but unless it brings you out of this low, than I wouldn't recommend doing it. Do something you want for awhile, like going to the gym instead of volunteering.

Finally, how was your day?

*Sorry for this post, reading over it it feels a little muddled in what I'm saying*