again,what do i do?

LegacyUser

hi again,
I've posted a few days ago, and I still can't get my head sorted.
Girlfriend and I broke up, and I can't let her go!I want to fix everything!
I am so pathetic, it is starting to piss me off, which is probably a good thing, because I've been crying for nearly 3 weeks, so I am getting tired. But I just refuse to let go!I can't help it! I know why our 5 year relationship broke down, and I want to let her see that it can be different, that she can be happy with me and that I can be happy with her. I am 29, and she is my first woman.
I have a sister in London, and I am going there for a week to calm down. She'll probably tell me to forget everything and stay in London, but I would see this as running away, and I will never ever forgive myself for doing this.
Please advice, what do I do???

Karen_*

Well I know you're very upset and you can't see an end to how you're feeling but things really really will get easier. Its absolute torture when you're in the middle of it but there's just no quick fix I'm afraid.

Look, all you can do at the moment is go to your sisters and try to clear your head. It will help to have someone to talk to for a week. Just focus on that at the moment hard as it is.

The things is that neither you and your ex were happy and you couldn't go on the way you were. As was said before this is not all your fault. She has her own demons to face and things to sort out. And maybe you two are meant to be. But just not this minute. The best thing you can do is to try to build up your strength and learn to be by yourself for a bit. Everyone has to deal with a loss at some stage and this could be a good thing for you. You both need some time and space away from each other.

You know its not really the solution to just get back together without working out how things have come to this. You're at a crossroads now and you have to choose a path. You can either learn from this and grow or you can let it destroy you.

Look I know how you feel. But with time behind me I can now see that I was miserable in a relationship and it was neither good for me nor what I want out of life. But at the time it was the end of the world when it finished. I wouldn't go back for a million euro. and maybe things will be different for you but you need to give it time so you can figure out what you really want and whats best for you.

Post as much as you like, people are here to help and it helps to get different perspectives and just to get things out of your system so you're doing the right thing. And I promise you you'll be ok.

LegacyUser

Thanks, Karen.
I just can't see anything pass her.Behind her is a curtain and everything is just black.And I am afraid of being alone. And I want to stop crying. And I want to change. And I want to learn so that I won't do the same mistakes again. But I want her to see that those mistakes won't happen again with US, and she just can't. Just feckn CAN'T. And I want it to get easier, and my guilt and regrets and self pity don't help, but I just can't cope with myself

Wagon

doesntmatter wrote: »

She'll probably tell me to forget everything and stay in London, but I would see this as running away, and I will never ever forgive myself for doing this.
Please advice, what do I do???

How is it running away? You just need space to clear your head. I think that after a five year relationship ends your entitled to do that. Besides, if you want to move to London for 6 months even and then come back it could do the world of good. No point staying back and trying to fix things that can't be.

LegacyUser

I would have nowhere to come back... I come from one of the former Soviet countries. Five years ago I came to this country to build my life, and just as I learned to call Ireland my real home, it's just all going to hell...I don't want to give up and start all over again. All I can see is that I would fail......