Horrible !!! Help

xoxkellyxox

My 2 best mates have always bitched about me behind my back and i've known this but we have such a laugh together. I have other mates that are the ones i tell my secrets too though. the thing is now they hate me and ( i'm 15 ) i am the only one at my bus stop they are both on my bus they talk about me shout and me and because its the summer holidays even send me nasty text messages. I've told teachers but they won't do anything becasue her dad is really big mean and threatening. I really don't wann get the police involved so what can i do to make this stop?? please help
kelly x

Adam

xoxkellyxox wrote: »

My 2 best mates have always bitched about me behind my back and i've known this but we have such a laugh together. I have other mates that are the ones i tell my secrets too though. the thing is now they hate me and ( i'm 15 ) i am the only one at my bus stop they are both on my bus they talk about me shout and me and because its the summer holidays even send me nasty text messages. I've told teachers but they won't do anything becasue her dad is really big mean and threatening. I really don't wann get the police involved so what can i do to make this stop?? please help
kelly x

Kelly dear, it's the hardest advice to take in a situation like this, I know because I was bullied for quite a while in a new school by two fellas in particular. But the BEST thing you can do is hold your head up high and ignore them.

xoxkellyxox

I've tried but its really hard.
They just won't stop .
They also in my class and i don;t have other friedns in that class only in other classes.

Adam

xoxkellyxox wrote: »

I've tried but its really hard.
They just won't stop .
They also in my class and i don;t have other friedns in that class only in other classes.

If they bully you in class do not be afraid to bring attention to it, your teacher is OBLIGATED to deal with it, as is your school if it persists anywhere else on school grounds. Have you told your parents? You should ask the principal and your parents to meet and discuss the situation. I know that might sound embarrassing but they are the three people that can help you the most.

Mr WibbleWobble

xoxkellyxox wrote: »

My 2 best mates have always bitched about me behind my back and i've known this but we have such a laugh together. I have other mates that are the ones i tell my secrets too though. the thing is now they hate me and ( i'm 15 ) i am the only one at my bus stop they are both on my bus they talk about me shout and me and because its the summer holidays even send me nasty text messages. I've told teachers but they won't do anything becasue her dad is really big mean and threatening. I really don't wann get the police involved so what can i do to make this stop?? please help
kelly x

Show someone who can help you the text messages. Spend more time paying attention in English class.

xoxkellyxox

Mr WibbleWobble wrote: »

Show someone who can help you the text messages. Spend more time paying attention in English class.

no offence but i'm kinda upset and tbh i am in top set for english so poops to you. and by the way i was typing quickly also next time somebodys upset try not to put them down even more.

thatone!

This is a horrible situation your in, I know how hurtful it can be to have "friends" who make you feel terrible about yourself,
Have you tried to become friends with other people in your year? If you begin to act as if they aren't important to you, if they talk to you just act as if they aren't there, always seem as you are happy that way they won't bother to annoy you anymore. Hope it works out better for you from now on

sinnerboy

YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT .

Can your parents not help ? Or some other relative . You have to involve the school once you return there .

Don't delete the texts . They will back your side of the story up .

I hope it blows over . I am sure it is really horrible for you , but these things can often simply fade away .

MizzLolly

xoxkellyxox wrote: »

no offence but i'm kinda upset and tbh i am in top set for english so poops to you. and by the way i was typing quickly also next time somebodys upset try not to put them down even more.

Relax sweetie, you don't need to explain yourself to anyone here. I'm really sorry to hear about what's happening to you. I was bullied in school as well, I think everyone has been at some stage, yet it's one of the hardest thing's to admit to. First thing to remember is that they are not your best friends if they treat you this way. Cut all ties with them, steer clear. You're far better than that methinks.

Secondly, your parents need to know about it. Who cares if her dad is 'scary' or 'threatening'? If he's any kind of a decent person he'll be more than happy to pull his daughter back into line. No good parent will encourage their kid to be a bully.

Thirdly, keep telling the teachers/guidance counsellors/principal/vice principal and everyone else you can until something is done about it. I know when you're being bullied it seems that you're isolated but you're not, not at all. This kind of behaviour reflects badly on them, not you. What does it tell you about how they feel about themselves?

I know it's hard but keep in mind that any person that is truely happy will not inflict so much hurt on another person. They sound insecure and immature. Hold your head up high as ROFL said. Once you get it all out in the open, they're done for!

Smile through it, you'll see how the tables will turn

dsg

Oh Kelly sweetheart these girls aren't your friends. I wish I could have a word with them myself. Have you tried reasoning with them? Explaining how hurtful they are being? They are wounded children pet and probably don't even realise the effect they're having. Not that this is any excuse. Take the higher ground, turn the other cheek. God I really don't know what to say to you. Keep your chin up and know that you are strong and a better person for not sinking to their level. Eventually people like that are exposed for what they really are which is a pair of cowards. Take support from wherever you can get it.

irish_boy90

I feel bad that you have to live with that . You can't let it continue though, talk to your parents and teachers.
Your parents will make your teachers do something about it.

Larianne

You need to tell someone. I was bullied at school but never said anything. One saving grace for me was that someone else was being bullied and told someone. In one of our assembly's the Year Head made it clear that bullying would not be tolerated and that those responsible would be dealt with. The two girls who used to say things to me came up and apologised to me and never said anything to me again!

Bullies are cowards but like the power bullying gives them. Once they have been caught out/made known to be bullies they are usually shamed.

dubsgirl

I know it may seem that eveyone is telling you the same thing but the only reason for this is that it is the only course of action for you. You need to tell your parents or someone in your family. They then need to approach the school as all schools must have a policy in place to deal with bullies and this must be produced when parents ask for it.

These people that are bullying you are too unhappy and insecure themselves and therefore need to bring someone else down also.

Chin up I'm sure you have a lot of people that care for you and if you let people help you, you won't feel so alone.

Good luck with everything.

Nevyn

Junior #8 banned for a week.

jackbutler

hey kelly
im 15 too, im english, so i don't know if the bullies are different in ireland but still, i've got experience.

i've always been the lively guy, the guy that if he wants to get along with someone, he will, but i tend to go too far sometimes, make a fool of myself.

and theres this one bitch in my tutor group who has always annoying the sh*t out of me every day, plainly cuz she never leaved me alone.

and this girl is a chav, so her chav mates would always ask me questions about what theyd heard about me, stupid rumours.

so what i'm trying to say is ive been known through the entire year as being the guy who's done stupid things, said stupid things, etc.
bullies are just bullies, so i made friends, i told the people to feck off, and my life is much better now

occassionally someone will come along and ask me something ridiculous, and i dont just ignore what they say, i just pretend like theyre not there.

it works surprisingly well :]

Marksie

Mr. Wibblewobble: If you have an issue with a post, use the report funstion and don't indulge in backseat modding.
First and only warning.

OP: They are not your best mates, understand this. You do not need them and should not associate at all.
It is horrible when you are being targetted like that, especially at your age. But the school should be obligated to do something, if the teachers wont then the principal should be involved. They DO take this seriously.

You CANNOT handle this yourself, get your parents involved.

In the end a bully only succeeds because the fear and silence allow them to. When this is brought out there may be bluff and bluster for a while and then they will move on to someone else. Its is the consipracy of silence that enables them to succeed.

Regardless of the meanness or such like of the father, you have to for your own confidence and self esteem, do something about this.

Perhaps the ONLY thing good about the texting generation is the fact that texts can be stored. It thus provides hard evidence of what's been said.

diamondp

Mr WibbleWobble wrote: »

Show someone who can help you the text messages. Spend more time paying attention in English class.

omg i cant believe you just posted dat. you come acorss like a rite w***ker. 15 yr old girl upset and you think thats funny. (well i hope it was meant to be funny)

Op go to your parents. They will help you. head high op.

Burial

xoxkellyxox wrote: »

My 2 best mates have always bitched about me behind my back and i've known this but we have such a laugh together. I have other mates that are the ones i tell my secrets too though. the thing is now they hate me and ( i'm 15 ) i am the only one at my bus stop they are both on my bus they talk about me shout and me and because its the summer holidays even send me nasty text messages. I've told teachers but they won't do anything becasue her dad is really big mean and threatening. I really don't wann get the police involved so what can i do to make this stop?? please help
kelly x

I'd recommend you keep hold of the texts and show them to the police and the teachers and to your parents. Their parents size means nothing. The guy can't beat up anyone. As with the girls, if they keep pestering you on the bus, the bus driver would be MORE then happy to tell them to feck off and throw them off the bus. The principal and teachers would be more then happy to help you too, as will your parents. Your going to need proof. However tiny. So keep a text message and show it around.

sinnerboy

.... another thing you may consider .... If they are shouting at you you in a public place - record that with your mobile phone ( in your pocket - don't let them see you ) .

So when you take it to the school or your parents , as you really should , there will be NO room for "she said this , so I said that " . Case closed .

not yet

Hiya kiddo,
My 15 yr old daughter was in the same postion as you earlier in the year, It was affecting everything in her life, she did open up to me and her mam in the end, and after weeks of chatting she realised she had more friends then she thought plus her mam and me behind her, she calmed down and realised it was not the end of the world.

I promise you it will work itself out, just relax and dont let them see it bothers you.

I bet you have more people to turn to then you think.

Mr WibbleWobble

xoxkellyxox wrote: »

no offence but I'm kinda upset and tbh i am in top set for english so poops to you. and by the way i was typing quickly also next time somebodys upset try not to put them down even more.

Point taken. My bad. Education is very important though. Do show the text messages to someone. They are all the proof you need.

diamondp wrote: »

omg i cant believe you just posted dat. you come acorss like a rite w***ker. 15 yr old girl upset and you think thats funny. (well i hope you it was meant to be funny)

Op go to your parents. They will help you. head high op.

I am a right w**anker but that was not meant in this case

Marksie wrote: »

Mr. Wibblewobble: If you have an issue with a post, use the report funstion and don't indulge in backseat modding.
First and only warning.

I didn't have an issue, I was just posting advice like the charter states. I was preemptive in the English classes part of the advice giving but the OP has shown me the error in that. Apologies!

I wish I had paid more attention in English classes

Once again OP have a little faith in you elders and use the Text messages you have to back up your case. Scary stuff when your are 15 but you can handle it.

Nymph

I went through a similar situation when I was in secondary school. It lasted for about 3years. The difference was that I was basically not allowed to have other friends other than these so called "best friends". I cried a lot and didn't sleep well most nights. Luckily mobiles still hadn't been available just yet, but I still had to put up with prank calls, whispering, abuse being shouted at me and general mind games. I did eventually tell my mom, but not as my mom - I told her as a friend. I think one of the hardest things for both of us was having told her and then asking her not to do anything about it. I wanted to deal with it myself. It took a while but at least I had someone to talk/cry to now. Eventually my frustration fuelled some sort of belief in myself. I simply ended it one day. The friendship and the bullying. By simply coming out and saying i didn't want to be friends with them any more. Confidence saved me. It made them take a step back and allowed me to be happy. Of course I was guilt tripped for a few days etc but somehow it all ended on a calm. I don't regret what happened to me. I learned and changed for the better from it. I think the best advice I could give to you is, as cliched and simple as it sounds, be strong in yourself. It mightn't be easy but it'll be worth it.

xoxkellyxox

jackbutler wrote: »

hey kelly
im 15 too, im english, so i don't know if the bullies are different in ireland but still, i've got experience.

i've always been the lively guy, the guy that if he wants to get along with someone, he will, but i tend to go too far sometimes, make a fool of myself.

and theres this one bitch in my tutor group who has always annoying the sh*t out of me every day, plainly cuz she never leaved me alone.

and this girl is a chav, so her chav mates would always ask me questions about what theyd heard about me, stupid rumours.

so what i'm trying to say is ive been known through the entire year as being the guy who's done stupid things, said stupid things, etc.
bullies are just bullies, so i made friends, i told the people to feck off, and my life is much better now

occassionally someone will come along and ask me something ridiculous, and i dont just ignore what they say, i just pretend like theyre not there.

it works surprisingly well :]

I'm not irsh ... :S

spinandscribble

Op, don't be a victim. These girls are scum and are clearly very unhappy with their life. i was bullied too from being little right up but in secondary school i took a stand. roll your eyes at them, laugh at their idiotic behaviour towards you. trust me, they won't like it but isn't it better then them getting a rise out of you whenever they want? eventually they'll get bored and a little embarrassed and move on. it might be too late to do this and it won't fool them so you better take other peoples advise. Please remember op bullies don't target strong people, so become strong.

RedXIV

spinandscribble wrote: »

Please remember op bullies don't target strong people, so become strong.

+1

I was bullied for a few years in school and i used that determination to change myself so i wouldn't get bullied in future, i took up martial arts, i became more outgoing and social, i became more confident and in turn, happier, and throughout this process, people gave up bullying me. One thing that did help was laughing at them. for some reason the guys the bullied me simply couldn't deal with it.

Best of luck though lass,

Red

spinandscribble

RedXIV wrote: »

+1

One thing that did help was laughing at them. for some reason the guys the bullied me simply couldn't deal with it.

Red

my own idea on this is bullies bully so that they themselves can act tough and not be bullied. so by laughing at them, the tables are turned. most bullies weaknesses are clear either they're unpopular or really really dim (this was the way it was in my school). In my situation 'big' words and telling them what i thought of them, scared them away. tbh if someone thinks the word ignorant means fat they really don't deserve to pick on anyone elses shortcomings and should spend more time in class.

highlydebased

What everyone else said. Ignore them.

If they are in the same school/class as you, inform your year head/principal telling him/her what happened

I've been there.....well many of us have unfortunately

Hrududu

One thing that did help was laughing at them. for some reason the guys the bullied me simply couldn't deal with it.

Red

I couldnt have put this better myself. They shout at you on the bus, laugh at them and look down at them. They will end up looking like fools and with the tables turned they won't like it one bit. The one thing a bully doesnt seem to expect is derision. Every time they make a comment look at them like they are totally stupid and laugh at them. Bullies only target the weak. So be strong. Easier said than done I know.