Bit of silly one but here goes......

LegacyUser

Ive had a credit card for long time and in past year or so I got an extra card on same account for the OH. I am always trying to get the balance down and if we come by money id try and put lump sums in. Over past few months as OH has been running low on money at the end of the month the OH uses the card for misc/daily living stuff, whereas Id really try and only use it when necessary. OH never pays anything off it either BUT OH does pay a fair whack of the household bills. It was my birthday recently and OH used the card to buy my presents, billed to the account I'll be paying off. I havent said anything and its not really getting to me but it does when Im using every extra bit of cash to pay it off and he'll use it to buy my birthday present!!? Am I being silly?

Silverfish

Doesn't sound like either of you have a handle on your finances.

If you've gotten to the stage of joint credit cards etc, you should be at the stage where you sit down and work out who pays what as fairly as possible.

However, if someone charged my birthday present to my (or our joint account say) I'd flip the biscuit, no messing.

sinnerboy

No your not . I'd be p*****d off too . It's like "lend me money and I'll buy you a drink" . That's not fair .

Grawns

No you're right to be annoyed. I'm in the same position in that I'm the so called responsible one with money ( It's like being a feckin school teacher - no offense to teachers but..) Anyhoo my oh asks permission before he uses the card as it's not for day to day stuff and he can use his bloody laser if he wants to buy crap online. You need to talk it over with him though and establish rules. If he's going to use it like that he needs to start paying towards the balance each month. Can you get 2 bills on 1 account I wonder?

davyjose

Eh, you have a joint credit card, but not a joint bank account? Am I alone in thinking this is completely arseways, and a recipe for disaster? If you plan on sharing bills, money etc., a credit card is not the way to go.

sunnyside

Grawns wrote: »

.Can you get 2 bills on 1 account I wonder?

Highly unlikely I'd say. Could he get his own separate credit card? That might teach him to be a bit more responsible about money.


The OP says she hasn't said anything to him but it's clearly starting to bother her. This will only lead to resentment and later really bad fights about money so I think it's important to deal with it now before he starts to use the card more often and before any serious debt builds up.

This is a recent problem as opposed to a long-running one so it should be easy enough to sort it out now.

bored and tired

no your not being silly, your OH really needs to be put in his place over birthday present. Public flogging comes to mind:D Or you could just hand over the credit card bill and just innocently say your paying this this month arent you??
Seriously though, It sounds like if your using the credit card for every day things that your overstretching, I think you both need to sit down and work out the bills, esb phone rent/mortgage, food, any child expences etc and based on your wages work out who pays what, and who saves what or where you can cut back. Also does OH mean husband fiance or live in bf, Its not the smartest thing in the world to be giving a credit card using your credit rating to someone to use as they please, unless of course you are, or intend to marry them.

Also it might be an idea to get a loan to pay off the credit card Percentage rates are usually ridiculous, and then cut it up or put it in a lock box - i personnally hate them & think there the route of all evil. If you need something, car breaks down, television blows up and for ebay and internet bookings there great, but thats about as far as mine sees the light of day.

Curlypinkie

OK, so you do have joint finances or you don't? It seems like you are living together but haven't really got a budget??
Well, it's time for one definitely. Does he have an income? Is it smaller than yours? Who pays for what and spends money on what?
You really have to establish that..... If he's your OH and not just a friend living in the same house, yeah, joint credit card but then also joint account and budget. I would not settle for less.

Beruthiel

Unreg4today wrote: »

Ive had a credit card for long time and in past year or so I got an extra card on same account for the OH. I am always trying to get the balance down and if we come by money id try and put lump sums in. Over past few months as OH has been running low on money at the end of the month the OH uses the card for misc/daily living stuff, whereas Id really try and only use it when necessary. OH never pays anything off it either BUT OH does pay a fair whack of the household bills. It was my birthday recently and OH used the card to buy my presents, billed to the account I'll be paying off. I havent said anything and its not really getting to me but it does when Im using every extra bit of cash to pay it off and he'll use it to buy my birthday present!!? Am I being silly?

No, you're not being silly.
Sit him down and talk to him.
IMO you should never have given him a card to your account. That is something I would never do.
I have my own credit card account and my partner has his. That makes us both responsible for our own finances, thus avoiding the problems you are having now.
I am also a firm believer that you should never use a credit card unless you have money in your bank account to cover it. Over spending like this can cause you serious problems down the line if your debt gets out of control.

Personally, if I were you, I'd ask for the card back and cut it up. If he wishes to go get his own, fair enough, but he does not sound like he's mature enough to have one.

MagicMarker

I agree, i would NEVER give someone a credit card for my account. I can't understand why anyone would, unless it's a joint account and the credit card is only used for prearranged things.

geminilady

yeah no i would have a good chat with him and explain that the card is only used for emergencies. if you cant make repayments its going to affect your credit file not his. If he's still not listening then you can remove him from your a/c and close it and issue you with a replacement card.

But it might be a misunderstanding just try and have a nice chat and ask him why he keeps making paym when you adv only used for emergencies.

If he goes on about paying most of the household bills, perhaps a budget would be a good idea and you's could set up a joint a/c whereas both of you pay for the bills equally.

You're not being silly, at all.

if you get him to cut it up he could still ring up the credit card company to ask for a replacement so better if removing him to ring them up so they can remove him from your account.

hockeygirl

+1 to everyone here that has posted

Clearly neither of you has a proper hold over the finances. As you said you look after the credit card and your OH pays the majority of the house bills.

Maybe you could talk about setting up a joint account where all of your bills come out of and you both contribute to it. Only use the account for bills..... and get rid of the joint card. Just run up your own personal expenses not each others

It could be a case that he is flippant about his spending as he knows ypuor covering the payments. If he had to manage this himself he may not be so extravagant.

Its not unusual for people to live off the credit card for daily expenses but as Beruthiel says you should only do this if you have the funds to cover it.

I only use mine as a last resort and only spend when I know I can cover the cost at the end of the month.

Whe you get your credit card bill you should sit down with him and politely remind him that he bought your pressie on a card that you pay for!

LegacyUser

Thanks guys, financial situation is not dire, we're paying the bills and like an awful lot of people in the country living month to month. I do take offense to people assuming that we have no control over our money siutation. Yes, i would be the more practical one and have done the usual things to reduce the card. Thats my point, while im putting in any spare cash to pay it off, its feels completely wasted when the balance does up again. He wouldnt use it for buying himself stuff or any "luxuries", it is only at the end of the month for household essentials/petrol etc, this birthday issue though has made me a wee bit annoyed. He did just do it to get me something nice but still.....

OH's salary is nearly twice of mine so he does pay most of the household bills whereas id usually pay 4 shopping, etc. Certain emergency situations arose and it just made sense that he have a card. I dont want to have another credit card account in the house, just means more bills. Dunno, might sneak it off him while hes not looking!