desire to be with a women

LegacyUser

going unreg for this one
i realise this might not be the right place for this thread but i would like a general opinion.


im a bit confused at the moment. im 22 and im seeing someone for the past few months, everything is going great, no problembs at all.
but heres the problem when i was only about 9 or 10 2 girls moved into my area and school, they were the same age as me, anyway, i became friends with them, use to hang out etc, basically to cut a long story short they were very sexual for 10 yr olds and use to fool around with eachother, i then became involved with them, this must have lasted at least 2 yrs until they moved away(not very far though) anyway throughout my teens and even now i have a desire to be with a women, i think it steams from messing around with these girls as before this time i had never thought of it.


its just that the guy im seeing is so special and i really love him but im afraid that il want to experience a women and i dont want to mess him up (please dont suggest a 3some or say he'l be delighted) i think this is the man i want to spend the rest of my life with......but should i get this experience out of my system or will it just subside. i know im not gay but i do have these feeling/desires to be with a women.
please help

Wurly

This is completely natural and most women have a fantasy about this.

I also know a lot of women who had that 'fooling around' experience as children. Again, completely normal.

Ask yourself though - is the thought of being with a woman just a fantasy or something you would seriously consider pursuing?

If you really want to do it and you can't get it out of your head, then you must be prepared to lose your boyfriend.. Most people would feel hurt that their other half wants to be with someone else - regardless of gender. Although, some think it's different. If it's really eating you up inside, then maybe talk to him? If it's got to that stage, you're prob gonna lose him anyway, so maybe talking is your best bet. You don't really have much to lose..

If you think it may be a fantasy, then let your mind indulge in it. There are a lot of other women fantasizing about the same thing.

Karen_*

Well do you absolutely have to be with a woman? I really want to go to South Africa but I can live without doing it.

I guess if you're feeling that you want to spend your life with this guy then all sorts of things that you wanted to do but now might not get the chance to are going through your mind and thats completely normal. As is fantasising about being with a woman. sometimes things are best left as a fantasy too.

Monkey61

I totally agree with the posters above. Just because this is a fantasy doesn't mean that it is something that you actually have to do.

Loving somebody and being committed to them often means making sacrifices. If you spend the rest of your life with your boyfriend, no doubt on occasion you might meet somebody else that you fancy, be it a man or a woman. If you love your boyfriend though, you make the choice not to act upon those feelings, because you are committed and faithful to him.

Obviously if this is happening every weekend it's probably not ideal!

You really need to think this through though and not let it completely blow up and out of proportion. If all you want with a woman is one experience, then really in the grand scheme of your life, it's not going to kill you if you don't actually do it. It's perfectly natural to be curious after all, but bare in mind that the reality is often very far removed from the amazing fantasy that you have built up in your head!

LegacyUser

thanks for your comments
im well aware that fantasties never really come true its just i dont want to be 40 and think why didnt i do it!!! i love my oh more than anything i would never consider doint the dirt.
and as an above poster said....if its just the one experience you wantthen its not going to kill me if i dont have it

Blackpitts

I'm not going to suggest a 3some involving your bf... just can i watch when you go for it?

just messing.

to be honest, how would u react if you bf would tell you he sleep with 2 women because it steams from messing around with 2 girls when he was young? would it sound like a good reason for you?
If you want to try a bi-experience, just dump your bf first as it is not fair to cheat on him and you owe him some respect.

LegacyUser

im not even considering cheating on him thats the thing im just a bit confused i suppose, but i would never cheat on him ever, i love this guy to bits its just this feeling i get sometimes and i dont want to tell him incase he gets insecure about it. i think its just something i need to get out of my system but i will not dump him for something like this nor would i ever consider cheating on him