Nervous about 1st Date

WorriedSick

Hey Guys.. Just looking for a bit of advice.

I'm a few months out of a pretty serious 2 year relationship. It just didn't work out and the breakup hit me pretty hard. Anyway, I've reached a point where I am ready to move on a I've arranged to meet a girl this weekend for a few drinks in town. I've never met this girl in person before. We have been texting and ringing each other non stop for the past 4 weeks. When I say non-stop I mean almost 24 hours a day, everyday! We talk on the phone for hours on end and neither of us tire of talking to eachother. We are both on each others Bebos all the time so obviously we have some idea of what we both look like through photographs etc.

I have really started to like this girl, I'm talking real feelings. I'm the kind of guy that only sleeps with a girl that I like and I tend to have relationships rather than one night stands. She is a great girl and I love talking to her all the time, she says the same to me but I'm just worried that she will be disappointed when she meets me, I'm kind of a big guy (not huge) but I've always been shy and have also had a confidence issue in the past. I know that there is nothing that could change the way I feel about her now, I've fallen for the girl that I've got to know over the past few weeks so I know I really really like her already.. does that make sense??

I'm just worried that she will be different and will be more hung up with looks etc. She says that she really really likes me too but she doesn't want to get her hopes up about something happening between us because she has had really bad experiences with guys in the past and finds it hard to trust guys before she knows them. She has a lovely 4 year old daughter and says that this has been a problem before. I'm 100% sure that this is not a problem for me. Anyway, I'm worrying so much about this that I'm considering putting the date off. I'm just really scared that we will lose what we have had over the past few weeks. She says that she wants to find someone that will love her and treat her right but my experience with most women is that if your not really good looking you dont get a look-in. I really hope this works out.

What you think, Would I be mad to cancel?? Maybe, someone can advise me from female perspective too! Cheers.

Overheal

You'd be mad to cancel. Just keep a cool, calm, level head. Thats all. The rest will play out as it happens.

MIN2511

I agree with Overheal here, there's nothing to lose and more to gain if the feeling is mutual.
Look at it this way, she's seen your bebo pics and must be attracted to you.
And if it doesn't work out upwards and onwards...
Keep us posted and enjoy!

Tommy the Cat

Cool the jets there lad, dont press the panic button and cancel the date. Everyone gets nervous on there first date, its only natural. Just be yourself as you have been with the waffling on Bebo and whatnot. First dates there great!!

Miss Fluff

Come now OP, this is HUGELY exciting!!!:)You are already at a huge advantage in that you get on very well and know you have lots to talk about etc so meeting in person should be the icing on the cake!Don't rush it, see how you get on etc and most of all enjoy it!

And don't be so down on yourself about your weight/looks. Most girls like a man to be a man, a big guy makes me feel safe and protected and trust me, most girls don't go for the pretty metrosexual look that magazines would lead you to believe.

Trust me OP, relax and enjoy;)

bstar

Come on Op you have to go and let us all know how you get on.

Your at an advantage here you've seen each others pics you know you get on brilliantly and as youve said you already feel like theres a connection there. If she was worried about your looks after seeing pics on bebo she wouldnt be as keen to meet you.

youve nothing to lose and a lot to gain here so good and good luck

Marksie

Goodness OP, you are digging yourself in a hole with the worry and missing the whole point.
You have been getting on grand by talking, learning and fnding out about each other.
This is the next logical step.

Its something to be looked forward to openly: if you go in worried it will show as being worried. You may be in danger of creating a self fulfilling prophecy.
So dont look at the glass half empty, but at it half full.

You would be absolutely INSANE to cancel.

Juts be who you are and enjoy. Your contact with each other has helped, I have no doubt that she is aware that her daughter is not an issue.
And you are both aware of previous tryst issues.

So go and enjoy the date, let it be natural and dont push it.
Be positive, say not "what if", but "this is".

This is : An opportunity

girl_friday

Hi OP - just want to wish you the best of luck!!

I'm in a similar position in that I am going on a first date tonight and tbh I am so so nervous that I could actually get sick!! However, I just keep reminding myself that he wants to see me and that in itself is a good start!! We've been texting a fair bit and seem to have a lot in common so at very least I may have a new friend out of it!! Let us know how you get on!!

Dragan

OP, if you didn't have all those litte doubts running around in your head it wouldn't be worth going on the date to be honest.

You want someone who can excite you, make you that little bit nervous etc....that to me is what the early dating is all about!

Let me put it this way, you both seem to be taking a level headed approach to it....just get it done man!

Believe me, if you can get a lass interested over Bebo/SMS etc then your going to knock her out when you meet.

Let the nerves sit there, they will remind you to be excited.

Best of luck with it and should you feel like it keep us updated!

Kell

WorriedSick wrote: »

I have really started to like this girl, I'm talking real feelings.

My own perspective? Wow, you are developing real feelings for someone you have never met before nor slept with. Hmmn. No wonder you are nervous about going on a first date.

Advice- chill out. Remove the thoughts of "feelings" from your head for five minutes and relax. If it works, great and if it doesnt, well it wasnt meant to be. Dont get all hung up on something that hasnt happened yet or as Marksie said, you'll turn things into a self fulfilling prophecy.

K-

PS- I am sick of people with "trust issues". Its the modern day plague of the pedestrian and anorak. They need to get the f*ck out there and risk getting their hearts broken time and time again, till eventually they find someone they click with. "Trust Issues". Bah.

Karen_*

I never went out with anyone gorgeous OP but they were certainly gorgeous to me once I got to know them. You sound great and you have loads going for you. Beleive in yourself and enjoy your night!

missingtime

Wear your comfiest boxers and just go out with your head held high.

The two of ye will be as giddy as hell and thats half the fun.

Kell

Karen_* wrote: »

I never went out with anyone gorgeous

Theres always a first time

K-