To meet Ex again? (Or not?)

LegacyUser

Hi,

This certainly isn’t a deeply troubling problem, but I guess I was looking for a few opinions to help me out!

October 2007:
Met a girl, and we both immediately hit it off. Began dating almost the very next day.

February 2008:
We break up, but I ask if we can remain friends (and actually mean it!).

March 2008 – August 2008:
Found out that somewhere in here; the girl started seeing another guy.
It’s a friend of hers that she’s known for years; who, I met once and absolutely hated.
I won’t say that I was “upset”, but I guess I still thought she was a nice girl and deserved so much better.
Still though, it was none of my business, so I left it.

During this time; I NEVER met her again.
I NEVER called her.

On 5 or 6 separate occasions, she texted me; and I responded, and we caught up a little bit – but only in a casual conversation kind of thing.

Since then, I’ve met other girls too, been on the occasional date, etc. but there hasn’t been anything serious at all.


Monday, August 18th 2008:
Suddenly got an uncontrollable urge to call her, and meet up. Was very tempted to do so; but stopped.



Here’s my question –

I don’t understand my own motives for doing this.
Would I have made a mistake to call her? Should I / Shouldn’t I?

If so; why / why not?

jellie

it happens. its normal to miss people, even unexpectedly.

the way i usually deal with something like that would be to leave it when i get the original urge for a few days & see if it fades (it usually does). if in a week or 2 you still feel the same urge & its not going away, maybe contact her then.

Cianos

Contact her if you want, but have zero expectations. As long as you know the risks, then what do you have to lose?

Beetlebum

sar84 wrote: »

it happens. its normal to miss people, even unexpectedly.

the way i usually deal with something like that would be to leave it when i get the original urge for a few days & see if it fades (it usually does). if in a week or 2 you still feel the same urge & its not going away, maybe contact her then.

Sound advice, I followed the same rule when I broke up with my ex.

I'd get a sudden overwhelming urge to call him and I'd pounce on the phone. Half the time he wouldn't answer or he would but he'd be short and refuse to meet. I don't recall anything good ever coming from one of those urges. Having said that though, we were together for years and had a messy painful break up.

I used to get that urge quite frequently but my flatmate and best mate said to me one night...if you still want to contact him in 3 days time then ok, go ahead. I followed that rule and usually the urge had passed by then or at least faded.

Sounds like you guys had a nice short relationship and there would proabaly be no harm in calling her.

Are you still into her? Are you maybe feeling a little lonely? Are you simply horny?

You decide..

Diddler82

Mr. Unreg wrote: »

Hi,


Monday, August 18th 2008:
Suddenly got an uncontrollable urge to call her, and meet up. Was very tempted to do so; but stopped.


If so; why / why not?

Were you out on the beer the weekend beforehand and feeling a little unloved or emotional?! I know it sounds ridiculous but I get the Monday blues like that and pine for my ex occasionally, I have got my head around it at this stage and usually by Wednesday you are a different person.

If it keeps up however, I would seriously consider calling her again but it needs to be constant.

gamblitis

When you do get that urge just try and keep yourself as occoupied as possible. But if you still can't resist maybe call her and see if she wants to do lunch. You will be friends and no more. Just beware of how strong your coming across.

And as said before something may have clicked sexually or whatever and you were up for some of that and the urge hits you. It happens but it passes and after a while you'll forget all about her for another while.

KlodaX

Is she still with the friend? are you only interested because her affections are else where?

SnowMonkey

i recently stoped talking ot my xgf who ive had a happy friendship thing, for near 2 years reason being for some reason I felt as tho we where still in a reletaionship i want to forget her move on and have a relateionship with another woman yet im talking to my x about meeting her. she was a friend but shes not a friend any more shes an x so with that ive cut all ties and im moving on...... that mean dleted number bebo remove facebook remove she whiped from my life and next week im changing my number i think its for the best......