In two minds...

the glass woman

I feel like this is a bit of a silly PI but it is something thats bothering me.. I'm supposed to be going away for a weekend in sept with friends, all day fri til sun night, which will mean leaving my husband to look after our 1yr old son. Well he'll prob have to spend fri daytime with his nana while my husband is at work. Anyway i'm really toying with the idea of canceling because i can't bear to leave my son for that length of time. I know my husband will do a great job, and It'll also be a bit of an eye opener for him! But i just keep imagining myself going through the motions, trying to have fun, when deep down I'll miss him like crazy. And what if he misses me too? 3 days and 3 nights are a long time for a baby. Can anyone else relate to this or should i just get over it?

Stonehead

Eh really, you're exaggerating it a wee bit, which is understandable if it's the first time you've spent a few nights away from your kid. From a logical point of view, realistically situations like this can and will arise, so it would be best to get accustomed to it. He's a parent too and it sounds like you trust him with the baby - plus the Nan has raised two generations of children so she's well used to it. Nothing will go wrong, it's all in your head and really you should just relax and have a good time with whatever you're doing.

John Mason

your son wouldnt even miss you.

children are selfish, as long as they are watered and fed. they couldnt care less who is looking after them

you need to go and learn to be selfish too

Femelade

irishbird wrote: »

your son wouldnt even miss you.

children are selfish, as long as they are watered and fed. they couldnt care less who is looking after them

you need to go and learn to be selfish too

Ah come on!! thats not true...
Of course kids miss their parents!

OP, How far away are you going? Maybe you could shorten your trip and stay 2 nights instead of 3?

cance

don't be ludicrous, go away on your trip, your child will survive without you for 3 days...

I'm not a parent but this "i cant bear being away from him" lark is a bit OTT...

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

You're gonna have to get used to it at some point. Besides, it'll do him good to be around someone else for a few days.

Are you worried about possibly feelign rejecte if you get back after three days and he's had an absolutel ball with Daddy...?

seamus

You need to go for your own sake.

Don't shorten your trip, don't cancel it. Your son will still be there when you get back and you won't have missed anything. Given your extreme reaction to the thought of a weekend away from him, I think you need this, in order to get over it. You need to get used to reclaming your own independence and realising that your son can be looked after without you.

The sooner you do this the better, or before long it'll be his first day of school and you'll spend the entire time standing outside the classroom making sure he's OK.

Take the leap, cut the apron strings. Your husband is well able and is probably looking forward to sharing alone time with his child, the same kind of alone time you've enjoyed for the last year.

Take a step back, imagine if this was one of your friends on the trip telling you that they didn't want to go on this trip for no reason other than they didn't want to leave their son for 2 days (You'll still see him Friday morning, right?). Imagine how ludicrous it would sound.

b3t4

I was talking to a cousin of mine at a wedding a while back and her little one would of been around the same age as yours then. She told me how her husband had to pratically force her to go on a weekend away with her friends. She went and she said it was the best thing she did.

You aren't alone in they way your feeling.
You are allowed enjoy yourself without babs on your hip.
Your baby will be fine.
It will be lovely for your husband to have the alone time with babs.
Mums are allowed to have fun too

A.

chuckles30

You will miss your child (and yes your child might miss you), but you should go. You're child will be fine and you will be better for it. It will also give your husband and child some quality 'daddy' time. And your husband might have a greater respect for you when you come back......you sound like you're the primary carer there. Go and relax and have fun for yourself!!!

Oryx

Just to reinforce whats being said here, go on your trip, let your hair down and have fun. If you miss your son and arent feeling jolly, as they say, fake it till you make it.

Your son needs a well rounded person as his mammy, and doing things like this is how you stop getting kiddy tunnel vision, where all you do is kid related stuff.

Trinity

the glass woman wrote: »

I feel like this is a bit of a silly PI but it is something thats bothering me.. I'm supposed to be going away for a weekend in sept with friends, all day fri til sun night, which will mean leaving my husband to look after our 1yr old son. Well he'll prob have to spend fri daytime with his nana while my husband is at work. Anyway i'm really toying with the idea of canceling because i can't bear to leave my son for that length of time. I know my husband will do a great job, and It'll also be a bit of an eye opener for him! But i just keep imagining myself going through the motions, trying to have fun, when deep down I'll miss him like crazy. And what if he misses me too? 3 days and 3 nights are a long time for a baby. Can anyone else relate to this or should i just get over it?

I'm the same as you. Have never had a holiday away from my kids. And its the biggest regret tbh.

My sis has been off on a weeks holidays and weekends very regularly and me - nothing. And no thanks for it and no break and after 8 years with no break i am exhausted.

Now because the 8 year old has never been away from me its going to be harder for him because hes not used to it. So i either have to put him through it or wait til hes 18 :eek:

yes you will miss your baby and your baby will miss you but they have no concept of time at that age, you will be back, you will be refreshed after the break and you wont regret it. Once you know he is in good hands then you can call everyday and get on with enjoying yourself.

Redpunto

I would feel exactly the same as you, its not ludricrous but id say youd have a ball. Apart from 1 night away at a hen night the only other time ive been away fromt the kids overnight is if im in hospital! (which thankfully is not often!!). It's normal to feel the way you're feeling. If you feel though that you really will find it hard to enjoy yourself then maybe cut the trip short by a night. I would find it very hard to be away from the kids for that length of time. In all this you have to remember whats important,,,,,you need to have a good time or the whole trip would have been pointless and silly to put yourself through it,,,but like i said earlier you probably will miss him but you'l have a ball and you will come back feeling refreshed.

the glass woman

Thanks everyone. I'm glad to hear there are at least a couple of you who understand how i feel! I know it seems a bit silly, but i didn't think it sounded totally ludicrous! Or maybe by the time i'm onto my 3rd child I'll be dancing out the door at any given opportunity! But its hard when its your first. I've only been away from him for a couple of nights on two occasions where i had to go into hospital, one wasn't planned, but i was in too much pain etc to think about it too much. This weekend however is supposed to be a relaxing break, and i just worried that, as Redpunto said, i won't enjoy it and It'll be a waste.. Btw Irishbird i would like to think that my son would miss me, i mean I've been with him every day for the past year of his life so if he didn't miss me then i reckon i'm doing something wrong! And Trinity1 what really sticks in my mind from your post is that you get no thanks for being there 24/7. You're dead right. It took me a while to realise that skipping meals and putting myself last after my husband and son is pointless as as great as they both are, they'd hardly notice.

sinnerboy

Your apprehensions are natural but i'm glad you seem to looking forward to getting away . Go relax enjoy yourself .( or go mad and enjoy yourself - either way is fine ) Let Dad and Baby bond . Let absence make the heart grow fonder This is all good

Blush_01

OP, does babs often stay with his Nana? Would it be possible to arrange for him to go to hers for a night when there ISN'T an emergency, so you can relax, and just have a bit of a training session (for both of you) on how to survive without eachother? At least then he won't get an almighty hop when you go away for three days (having Daddy is not the same as having Mammy when you're used to her 24/7) and you'll get a chance to see what life without him is like when the aim of the break is for you to rest, not when you're forced to due to medical reasons.

Just a suggestion.

Loopy

I say definitely go.

Its hard leaving them but you need to switch off and learn to kick back and have some fun. I think little breaks away from your kids from time to time really work - the buzz you will feel on sunday knowing you are going to see him will be fantastic.

He will more than likely really enjoy spending quality time with his Daddy on his own too...

the glass woman

That's a really good suggestion Blush, thank you. He has stayed with his nana the odd time but not in a good few months. I seem to be becoming more clingy with him lately.. Bringing him to weddings instead of leaving him for the weekend etc.. I think I'll try organise that. And Loop the loop, you're so right, my husband has been talking about this 'boys' weekend for months and months. Ever since i booked the weekend away!