Changing therapist

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

currently going to a therapist for an eating disorder but I don't feel I'm getting very far & being charged a fortune along the way. I mean its just the usual "Well your father was very controlling so blah blah.." I don't really feel I'm making much progress.

So if you want to stop going to a therapist do you just ring them up & say so??

MIN2511

I think you know the answer to that question.
Seems like you want us to agree with your reasons for not wanting a shrink, if you feel your situation isn.'t any better then quit

MysticalSoul

How long have you been with your therapist? Sometimes a change can be beneficial thought. I think it would be imperative that you discuss your feelings about this with your therapist, and at least have a closure session with your therapist. Sometimes a different perspective could be useful? What would you be hoping to achieve if you were to change?

LegacyUser

Jut tell them.

I spent a fortune on a therapist last year and even though I wasn't getting anywhere, I perservered as I thought it was me giving up something before finishing it.

It was highly frustrating and I got nowhere, nowhere throughout.

I told her that I was thinking of giving up and like with most other things she sat there and said something along hte lines of:

"well, what about that then".

Tell them your reasons and listen to what they have to say.

You wouldn't keep going to the same GP if he failed to stop a bleeding wound and let it continue like that for months on end.

I realise that mental and physical illnesses differ but if it isnt working for you than simply let them know and see what they have to say.

LegacyUser

MIN2511 - I suppose I am also wondering if these are valid reasons for changing therapist. People always say that some therapists suits & some don't but how do you know if its your first one? I mean she's confirmed some suspicions I had about certain influences past events have had but we haven't gone any further. I always knew I had perfectionist tendencies, problems with control etc. I don't want to pay her €70/hr to find out things I already know-I want to get better!

irishamethyst-I've done 3 sessions with her. If I changed I would want someone to start doing the hard stuff-how to change, not just why I am the way I am. I've already gone though the hard decision to go to a therapist-I don't want that effort on my part to be wasted on the wrong therapist.

Oryx

Therapy can be slow, as mainly its about finding the answers yourself rather than having a therapist tell you them. It can seem as if you are going nowhere for a bit, but when you look back you realise you were changing. Change from therapy can be more of a slow drip feed rather than a single overwhelming turning point.

Yes, you can just tell your therapist, but be sure that you are doing it for the right reasons.

CDfm

Unregd wrote: »

Hi guys,

currently going to a therapist for an eating disorder but I don't feel I'm getting very far & being charged a fortune along the way. I mean its just the usual "Well your father was very controlling so blah blah.." I don't really feel I'm making much progress.

So if you want to stop going to a therapist do you just ring them up & say so??

you dont say what eating disorder.

but if you have a good GP talk to him or her to recommend an alternative or put you in touch with a social worker or hospital that specialises in it

if you can talk to your GP get in touch with a support group or HSE

therapists cost money - i was paying 200 a week!!!

MysticalSoul

CDfm wrote: »

you dont say what eating disorder.

The type of eating disorder someone has is immaterial here.

OP. 3 sessions isn't an awful lot. As a trainee counsellor myself, I would always ask clients to give it 6 sessions at least - that is not to say things would be improved in six weeks, but it can give you a gauge of whether you think you could possibly relate to the therapist you are seeing. Are you seeing someone who specialises in eating disorders, or general? I am recovered myself, and found in the early stages of recovery I too had doubts about the therapist I was seeing at the time. What I now realise is that was more about me being reluctant to trust her, so working on trust was something that was paramount to my own journey.

Monkey61

Op if you are unhappy with your therapist then change. When your paying somebody that much money, you deserve to be happy with the treatment you're getting.

I sat through 6 weeks of psychodynamic therapy that I knew wasn't right for me. No matter what I said, she stared at me for ten seconds before earnestly informing me that that was because I didn't feel secure as a child. It was her response to everything. While of course, I'm sure that it was probably true, but her repeating it ad nauseum was not going to get us anywhere.

This kind of therapy was just not working for me as I needed something far more active and engaging. Every week before I went I would have to sit down and trawl through my mind for things to say to her the next day, because she refused to ask any new questions and insisted on repeating the exact same questions over and over.

Anyway, I digress. I'm now on the waiting list for CAT instead - sadly cannot afford to pay for it at the moment - but I think it will be useful to me anyway because it's quite problem based and immediate.

Ideally you need to sit down with somebody, perhaps a psychiatrist and discuss the various types of therapy available to you so that you can figure out exactly what kind of therapist would be of use to you right now.

Good luck and I really hope it all goes well for you!

MojoMaker

You did not participate properly in the process and instead wanted someone else to do the work for you - interesting.

If your therapist is speaking for more thn 10% of the sessoion then something is wrong. They're not there to advise, they're there to facilitate you advising yourself - something you're incapable of doing on your own in many cases.

CDfm

i dont agree with irishamethyst

the type of eating disorder is important because its a psychological problem with real physical medical issues.

If its anorexia you can grow body hair, damage your heart and other organs and in extreme cases you dont want to know.Bulimics can rot their teeth. Not so nice.

Councellors are not regulated in ireland so find one your doctor can deal with or get your doctor to refer you to a hospital to see a psychiatrist which is normally free.But you need a doctor for physical stuff and to see that you are getting better.

There are good and bad councellors - this one just might not be right for you.

Thats my 10 cents. Take it handy

MysticalSoul

CDfm wrote: »

i dont agree with irishamethyst

the type of eating disorder is important because its a psychological problem with real physical medical issues.

The type is not important, when the OP is talking about whether to stay with a therapist or not. It is up to the doctor, and not the therapist to deal with the physical repercusions. It is also not the purpose of this thread to discuss what type of eating disorder the OP has - people get too hung up on the labels these days IMHO.

OP When in my own recovery I found that there were professionals out there that did not take me seriously at first, due to the type of eating disorder I had. Because I was not underweight, I found I was not taken seriously by gp's. One gp told me just to go home and take some vitamins :eek:.

I do think it is imperative that you are in both therapy and in contact with your gp.

i still would encourage you to talk about it with your own therapist. If you do decide to change contact the IACP for a referral if you need

www.irish-counselling.ie

LegacyUser

Hi all,

thanks for all your replies, they have been really helpful & made me think about things.

She really is a good therapist, specialised in eating disorders and I think it was just one off session that got me worried. That and my lack of experience with therapists.

Have to say you guys in PI are great. I wouldn't have started going to a therapist at all without advice from here so THANKYOU!

LegacyUser

Unregd wrote: »

MIN2511 - I suppose I am also wondering if these are valid reasons for changing therapist. People always say that some therapists suits & some don't but how do you know if its your first one? I mean she's confirmed some suspicions I had about certain influences past events have had but we haven't gone any further. I always knew I had perfectionist tendencies, problems with control etc. I don't want to pay her €70/hr to find out things I already know-I want to get better!

irishamethyst-I've done 3 sessions with her. If I changed I would want someone to start doing the hard stuff-how to change, not just why I am the way I am. I've already gone though the hard decision to go to a therapist-I don't want that effort on my part to be wasted on the wrong therapist.

You might want to try CBT which deals with the 'how' to bring about change.
Look at the Irish Council for Psychotherapy CBT section (http://psychotherapy-ireland.com/), which includes some info on the various kinds of therapies. Also http://www.babcp.com/about-cbt/

Both websites list accredited CBT therapists, soome in theHSE, and both are reputable organisations.

CDfm

You will be fine if you put the effort in

Monkey61

MojoMaker wrote: »

You did not participate properly in the process and instead wanted someone else to do the work for you - interesting.

If your therapist is speaking for more than 10% of the session then something is wrong. They're not there to advise, they're there to facilitate you advising yourself - something you're incapable of doing on your own in many cases.

Don't be so bloody stupid. If I'm seeing a therapist because I'm severely suicidal and every day losing my mind just a little bit more and my girlfriend is hiding the kitchen knives then I do not have the luxury of time to sit in silence with a woman repeating the same basic questions that I have already provided answers for.

If you are actually considerably more clever than your therapist as well and don't appreciate basic textbook psychobabble -then no, that type of therapy is not going to work for you.

And when you say they aren't there to advise, you are referring to traditional Freudian psychoanalysis - therapies have moved on and it is empirically verified, directive and time limited therapies that can have an immediate effect and are suitable for crisis situations.

In cases such as extreme depression and eating disorders for instance - you immediately need to change your behaviour for your own safety. Yes long term psychotherapy is usually worthwhile and necessary to understand yourself, but it is not going to make any immediate difference to your behaviour or quality of life.