Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Friend in need

  • 18-08-2008 11:52am
    #1
    05D
    Closed Accounts Posts: 190 ✭✭


    Hi all,

    Little bit of advice please.

    My friend (30) told me yesterday that she found a lump on her breast but thinks its a cyst. she was in hospital today getting it checked out.

    The doc told her that he doesn't think it feels like a cyst and has referred her to a different hospital for an ultrasound.

    I am brutal in these situations and I am stuck for words. I really don't know what to say to her. False hope and all that.................


Comments

  • #2
    Sugar Drunk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 522 ✭✭✭Sugar Drunk


    shes your friend. You really dont need words she will be grateful just to have you there with her and to give her a hug, make her laugh in spite of it all etc.
    I know how truly awful this kind of situation is and I am hopeless myself at knowing what to say but I have learned - if your friend wants to talk about it - talk about it. if she doesnt then be there for her invite her out go to the cinema etc I know it sounds trivial but she will have the docs and anyone else shes told talking about the cyst etc she will value a friend to escape from it. when she is ready to talk about it just be there to listen


  • #3
    AngryBadger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,251 ✭✭✭AngryBadger


    OP your friend just needs you to be the same as you usually are with her moer than anything else. Saying anything about the lump could be dubious sicne as of now neither of you knows what it really is. Hopefully it turns out to be nothing serious, but in the meantime just make yourself as available as is realistic for you, and treat her as normal, anything else will jsut make her feel isolated because she'll pick up on changes in your attitude.

    Don't worry about find the "right" words, just be yourself.


  • #4
    Marksie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    OP: all that is required is being present and listening.
    It is in the end the essence of friendship.


  • #5
    maryjmul
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35 ✭maryjmul


    05D wrote: »
    Hi all,

    Little bit of advice please.

    My friend (30) told me yesterday that she found a lump on her breast but thinks its a cyst. she was in hospital today getting it checked out.

    The doc told her that he doesn't think it feels like a cyst and has referred her to a different hospital for an ultrasound.

    I am brutal in these situations and I am stuck for words. I really don't know what to say to her. False hope and all that.................

    HI remember not all breast lumps are cancerous i had one removed a few years back which wasn't a cyst but my specialist wanted it removed just in case ,once removed no problems,no chemo ect , remembering how i was feeling at the time ,well i didn't think to much about it at the time just waiting on the results of the biopsy was a bit stressful ,my advice to you is just try and keep her mind of it and if the results come back positive just be there for her as she will need a shoulder to cry on,and hope fully if it is the big C they will have caught it in time ,but as a friend you must remain upbeat ,and when she wants to talk just Listen ,let us know how she gets on ,goodluck


  • #6
    05D
    Closed Accounts Posts: 190 ✭✭05D


    Thanks guys, she has to wait to get an appointment for the ultrasound.

    I will let you know. Fingers crossed it will be good news!


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    CathyMoran
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,458 ✭✭✭CathyMoran


    You could give her the number of the Irish Cancer Society if you feel out of your depth - it is 1800200700, I have and do find them very helpful. Let her know that it is OK to be upset and that you will be there for her no matter what happens. Best wishes.

    Edit: Taking her mind off it for a while is also a good idea. Suggest that you go to Galway for the weekend and have a good time, or do something that she likes. The waiting is the killer.


Advertisement