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31 and never had boyfriend

  • 17-08-2008 11:35pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    just gone 31 now and realising that if 18year olds are worried about having no boyyfriend then maybe i should be very worried.
    i've put my lack of ever having a boyfriend down to a few things- a)not attractive enough, b) not interesting enough personality, c) not doing the right stuff to meet people
    But if i said that to anyone i know they'd laugh cos none of them would agree with my summing up of the situation.

    I can score the odd time on a night out but there's never any follow up, so even casual dating is a non event. I 've tried online dating sites- met a few guys but i wasn't interested in them and vice versa. other guys might ask and receive photo and then thats the end of conversation- does nothing for my self esteem, yet in real world, i wouldn't be considered unattractive- i'm just not what their ideal is.
    so i guess i can keep going with online dating but its quite soul destroying after a while.
    have tried new activities over the years to no avail, ( not for sole purpose of meeting guys but that would be nice bonus) even some new friends would be good.

    I'm wondering what else i should do- nothing maybe! i'm not a fan of being desperate..


Comments

  • #2
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    tip with online dating. just leave your picture up. get that bit of akwardness out of the way before someone even contacts you.

    secondly that ABC stuff: its the wrong attitude. IF you don't like yourself how can you expect someone else to? You will need to find new ways to look at yourself first and foremost.


  • #3
    Marksie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    From what you have posted, i get the impression that you really just are not bothered makng the effort in the end.

    Whether its a case of not realising that dating and realtionships take work, or simply giving up, thats for you to work out.
    But why should you conform to someones ideal? Unless you haven't worked out what you are actually looking for and who you in fact are.

    Truth to tell, if you WERE remotely interested you have had the opportunities.

    So what do you do next?

    Work out exactly what you want, who you are and how muhc effort you are prepared to invest


  • #4
    gandalf
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,458 ✭✭✭✭gandalf


    With regard to online dating, meeting up one on one can be quite daunting for both parties. I'd suggest checking if the site you are a member of has organised meetups like meals etc where a group meet for a meal and you get to chat to a number of people over the night. If you like someone from there then you can contact them and you don't have the problems of meeting up the first time anymore because you already have.

    Also don't make a big deal out of wanting a relationship, go out to have a good night out. If something more comes then great, if not you had a good night out :)

    Good luck.


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