Never had a boyfriend???

IceICEbaby

Im 18 and i've never had boyfriend
I dont have a problem getting guys in clubs/bars...(whatever)....but anytime he wants to 'meet up' again, i run a mile! So its completely my own fault

To clear things up, im not afraid of sex and also (no arrogance intended!) but im pretty...so confidence isnt the problem either

I know it sounds really immature but i seriously dont understand why I do this....even if i really like the guy, ill blow him off and its not untill he's lost interest that i want him in any way....

My friends say i have a "guy's attitude" to dating....which probably isnt good lol
I know im young and im defo not scouting for a "serious boyfriend" here...but i thought this was a bit weird. Most girls I know have had least one "relationship"

Is this some personality trait i have ? (that ill end up some middle-aged lady with a toyboy:D)
Or do you outgrow this kinda thing???

(sorry, waaaay to long :pac:

Lots of my friends, myself included simply were interested in relationships at your age.

Go-Go-Gadget

it could just be that you havent found the right person or have yet to mature in this respect (intimacy issues), have you tried becomming friends with the guys first and moving from there?

AARRRGH

You're 18, relax, you're still a kid, you have loads of time!

The way you've described yourself -- lots of young people are like that. I suspect it's that you're afraid of getting hurt, or something along those lines...

But the most important thing is not to worry. Remain open minded, stay self aware, and it'll eventually click into place.

Even the most cynical girls I know end up with a boyfriend at some stage.

Do you actually want a boyfriend?

Oryx

Within yourself are you ok about this? As in do you really care, or is it your friends attitude to it that has you concerned that somethings wrong?

If you are alright with being this way for now, happy days. If its bothering you though, you need to figure out why you do it. What are you afraid of? What worries you about a second meet, why do you run from seeing someone more than once? And if you want to change your habit, theres only one way to do it. Meet someone again, even if you are in knots over it. See what happens then.

Youre 18, and doing this now isnt really a problem at all, as long as its not making you unhappy, and it doesnt become a pattern of non-commitment that you cannot break.

minidazzler

Just to say, being pretty doesn't automatically make someone confident.


Also, You're 18 why would you even want a relationship? It's something i can't grasp. Why young people these days want relationships so much? Just enjoy the way you are going atm.

You sound from your post as if you like the way things are but you want a relationship "For the experience"? Is that right?

In fairness monogomy sounds kinda dull for an experience.

If you want a fella then just pick one yourself and not just agree to meet up with the lad from the night before. But be sure to go for a fella that was kinda just a random score. If you go for a friend type it could become serious and that can be kinda boring.

What I am saying in a roundabout way is make your first relationship a casual one.

Amtmann

What I am saying in a roundabout way is make your first relationship a casual one.

Or don't.

IceICEbaby

thanks...
im not looking for a boyfriend really, just that it seems that im the only girl alive who hasnt had one
Not to mention my mother...."how come you never take any lads home to the house?".....kill me now

IceICEbaby

IceICEbaby wrote: »

thank...
im not looking for a boyfriend really, just that it seems that im the only girl alive who hasnt had one
Not to mention my mother...."how come you never take any lads home to the house?".....kill me now

When you're ready for a relationship it'll happen though I would advise never taking a boyfriend home to meet your parents. What if they prefer him to you?

Red Alert

relax! You're not abnormal at all. For what it's worth I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 20. Is of that you just don't want to see them again, are scared of repeat dating or you like being chased?

Karen_*

Well if you're not looking for a boyfriend then why is it an issue with you that you've never had one? You don't seem to want one and actively shy away from relationships so what's the problem exactly?

Catari Jaguar

I did this when I was about 17 - 19. I suddenly discovered I was hot, and also that no guy turns a girl down. So any guy I thought was hot (and it was many!!) I just went for. Was with them in a club, then lost interest after, *I got what I wanted, kthanxbai*

I was happy to do this up until I lost interest and grew out of it. I didn't sleep with them but my friends were jealous of my sexual confidence and ability to chat guys up, they labelled me a slut.

When i was 19 I met my current ( and ONLY) boyfriend. I guess he was special enough to want full time, and I calmed down my playing the field ways. I'm 24 now. I look back on my clubbing, boy hopping days with no shame, it makes me laugh.

What you're doing, in my opinion, is what young people should do, There's too much rush to be involved in a "relationship". Feel your way around, get some confidence, discover who you are and what you like and want before you dive into a relationship.

Fair play to ya!

Amtmann

Lil Kitten wrote: »

I did this when I was about 17 - 19. I suddenly discovered I was hot, and also that no guy turns a girl down. So any guy I thought was hot (and it was many!!) I just went for. Was with them in a club, then lost interest after, *I got what I wanted, kthanxbai*

Slightly off topic, but how the tables turn when women turn 30.

Susannahmia

IceICEbaby wrote: »

Im 18 and i've never had boyfriend
I dont have a problem getting guys in clubs/bars...(whatever)....but anytime he wants to 'meet up' again, i run a mile! So its completely my own fault

To clear things up, im not afraid of sex and also (no arrogance intended!) but im pretty...so confidence isnt the problem either

I know it sounds really immature but i seriously dont understand why I do this....even if i really like the guy, ill blow him off and its not untill he's lost interest that i want him in any way....

That sounds exactly like me up untill I was 17ish. I'm 20 now and am in my second serious relationship.:D One day I just changed my mind. I wouldnt worry about it at all, when you are ready for a relationship you will get one no bother. Anyways being single is more fun! Now I kinda I wish I had stayed in that stage for longer.

Dave147

IceICEbaby wrote: »

Im 18 and i've never had boyfriend
I dont have a problem getting guys in clubs/bars...(whatever)....but anytime he wants to 'meet up' again, i run a mile! So its completely my own fault

To clear things up, im not afraid of sex and also (no arrogance intended!) but im pretty...so confidence isnt the problem either

I know it sounds really immature but i seriously dont understand why I do this....even if i really like the guy, ill blow him off and its not untill he's lost interest that i want him in any way....

My friends say i have a "guy's attitude" to dating....which probably isnt good lol
I know im young and im defo not scouting for a "serious boyfriend" here...but i thought this was a bit weird. Most girls I know have had least one "relationship"

Is this some personality trait i have ? (that ill end up some middle-aged lady with a toyboy:D)
Or do you outgrow this kinda thing???

(sorry, waaaay to long :pac:

Don't worry about not having a boyfriend, it's not a big deal.. the only good thing about having one at this stage would be just to gain some experience for the future. I'm 22 and have had one serious girlfriend, I've also been single for the last 2 years, and I'm also "pretty" :P I learned alot from my relationship, was in love for the first time, but also learned that I couldn't possibly spend the rest of my life with one girl before I had even turned 21! So I broke up with her and just went riding around! I have no shame in it, it's part of growing up, getting it out of my system.. still!

So in my opinion, this should not even be an issue for you.. when you're ready for a boyfriend, great! Enjoy your freedom for now though!

lee_arama

It's swings and roundabouts for everyone.

I remember back in college seeing all the young country couples wandering hand-in-hand about the place during the early weeks of the college year. Me and my crew always referred to them as 'that girl and her soon to be ex-boyfriend'. Simply because as soon as she started getting attention from the sharks on campus the chances are that she was going to stray...

I myself was a shark, once upon a time, a playa if you will. I've been tamed now, but that doesn't forgive (is forgive the right word since I don't really regret anything?) the fact that I would regularly meet some girl out in a club, find out she was taken, and still go home with her?

Anyway - what I'm getting at is that there's a ton of peer-pressure to 'be' with someone as a couple when realistically you're not mature enough for a relationship.

I'm not saying sleep around, but I am saying just kick back, relax, and enjoy. College is harder now than it was a decade ago so maybe focus on settling into your course for the first year.

If you meet someone special you'll know. If you meet lot's of someone special then 'High 5!'.

Tragedy

Do you want a casual boyfriend(as in a guy you see and do stuff with regularly) even if you dont want a relationship?

Or do you just feel out of place when everyone around you either wants a boyfriend or has a boyfriend?

girl_friday

Deleted User wrote: »

What if they prefer him to you?

That happened to me with my ex! So awkward!!

OP just relax and it'll happen when u least expect it!!! Good luck!

rhapsody!

IceICEbaby wrote: »

thanks...
im not looking for a boyfriend really, just that it seems that im the only girl alive who hasnt had one

Nah you're not.
I'm on the same boat lol and I couldn't give a flying phuck!

jellie

theres absolutely nothing wrong with not having & not wanting a bf at 18. if youre happy with this then dont let anyone else make you feel like you SHOULD have a boyfriend. enjoy being young & single

seraphimvc

ah,the teenage whacking head symptom:pac: take it easy,girl! this is not a PI tbh,you seem to know what you are doing but still you keep doing that:Dso be it then,relax and enjoy your ride!

*i just hope the girls i know (now and future) wont have this symptom:p*