Long Distance Relationship

LegacyUser

HI all,

So i just got back from vsiting my GF in the states. We've been dating for 18 months. the first 6 while she was in ireland and the last year long distnace. I'm finding it very hard to get job in the states and so we've decided to break up until we can find a way to be together.

I love her so much and I am contimplating going back in the next few weeks to propose.
The problem is i know she'll saw no. She a very practicle person she will say she loves me but that we're too young (23 and 22) etc etc

Does anyone know of way to get meaningfull work in the US. I'm a qualified Engineer.

I'm going out of my mind thinking of her all day, and its starting to affect my relationship with friends and family, I know that as long as i stil love her i will never meet anyone else.

Advice etc required

Thanks

magick

it depends, have u tried to get a working visa? I had a long distance realtionship with my girlfriend who now is my wife:eek:

Shes lives in san fran, and although it was more difficult as time went by,i think u should look into a working visa, or failing that work for an american company and see if u can get a transfer to the States. Theirs always the marrige route, but i dont know if you would be ready for that.

preilly79

wow, you've just described how my relationship with my wife started. neither of us could get a visa so we got married (in the states). that sounds odd to a lot of people, but if she's the one then you might as well give it your best shot.

MagicMarker

Why can't she come here?

Amtmann

magick wrote: »

it depends, have u tried to get a working visa? I had a long distance realtionship with my girlfriend who now is my wife:eek:

If you don't mind me asking, could you, as someone who's made long distance work, give the rest of us some tips on how to emulate your success? For how long was your relationship conducted long distance? I'll soon have a similar problem to the OP.

dr.bollocko

Aahhhh.
The OP is an old fashioned romantic. And I appreciate that!
It's very easy to let women cloud all rational thought. Particularly when its "the" woman. Letting them do that has resulted in the best times of my life. Who needs endless practicality when our time on this planet is so short?
It warms my cold heart to see this thread. Seems like you already know what you want. I hope that the road is cleared for you buddy.

magick

it was long distance for about 5 years, but we really loved each other so we both knew we were going to end up getting married anyway.

However, i did it like this.

I used the phone a hellva lot but to avoid huge bills i switched to skype, and managed to talk every day/night. Installed a webcam, you would be surprised the difference this makes when u see ur other halfs face instead of just a voice,it makes the conversation deeper and more meaningful.


Now probably the most important part is actual time together, i was in a job where i could take extended time off so i could go traveling with her, this was the most important part of it all i think. Nothing beats being with the one you love. This is where i think a lot of long distance realtionships fail because although u love each other u dont get enough time around the other person, which means u both end up heartsick. I depending on ur budget u should allow to see ur other half once every couple of months and swap, this will be hugely important, but u will always have that conversation on where u are going in life and what ur future will be.

This is most important because u will have to choose someday to live with them or they live with you, all in all ur gonna have to take that leap of faith, in that other person. Thankfully it worked out for me, best of luck!

insomnia08

Why don't you ask her what she thinks of getting married? Something casual.. just to see what she thinks.

However, marriage is a serious commitment and supposedly forever so consider other things as well such as compatibility, beliefs, where you guys want to live etc..