Virginity

Quirkyduck

Ok, So this weekend Im almost certain IM going to loose my virginity, I was so ready untill I just read an article saying its very painful!! Is this the truth?
Help!!

The guy I will hipefully loose it to is not a virgin btw!

Oryx

Not always. But you need to be relaxed, turned on, enjoying it. Your fella knows the situation, right? In which case he will have to take things at your pace, so that you are ok.

Faith

How old are you?

It can hurt from some women, others feel no pain. If you use tampons and do regular exercise (especially things like horse-riding), your hymen will be more likely to have broken, reducing the likelihood of pain. However, you'll probably feel some discomfort as he enters you. Assuming you're comfortable, relaxed and turned on, like Oryx said, it should be fine.

Remember that there's no rush to losing your virginity. The most important thing is to wait until you're completely ready, and don't feel pressured into it.

LadyE

Totally agree in making sure you're ready

My advice would be to relax, relax relax, the tenser you are, the more it will hurt. Take things slow...and plenty of foreplay

Best of luck!

Miss Fluff

Plenty of foreplay, especially fingering beforehand and you should be fine. Don't expect the chandeliers to shake, it takes many sessions to get to know what you like etc. What contraception will you be using?

mumhaabu

Use Condoms! I can't stress this enough. Have fun!

Talliesin

The most receptive your vagina can be is very shortly after you've had an orgasm by other means. Hence if you've any reason to worry about possibilty of pain (of which virginity is one possible reason) that's a good idea.

pookie82

In short, yes. It's very likely it will hurt. Relax, use lubricant, stretch yourself with fingers first etc and you'll be as prepared as you can be. There's a chance of course that it'll be all fine and dandy but I've never yet spoken to a woman who hasn't had pain on her first time.

But it'll get way better after that, and if you love the guy and are sure you're doing the right thing I'm sure you'll have fun anyway!

HouseHippo

Ok. A few things

First of all, losing your Virginity is an extremely special moment its not something you can ever get back, make sure he respects you etc.

It's only painful if you are uncomfortable, there is a few twinges of pain and sometimes a little spot bleeding but nothing too drastic.but everyone is different. All girls or the majority do experience some pain but if it was soooo awful we wouldnt be doing it.Its prob going to hurt a few times after, it takes a while to get used to!

Make sure you have lots of foreplay, oral sex is best as it assures you are properly lubricated, make suer you go slow dont let him hammer at you like a wild beast. If he's hurting you tell him to slow down, I assume you know each other quite well.

it's important for you to be in control. You probably wont orgasam but very few women do the first time.

Also USE PROTECTION!!! And make sure you are doing it for the right reasons, cause you are committed to this person and want to have sex because YOU are ready.Not to get it out of the way becuase of age etc... because everyone else is doing it or becasue he is pressuring you!!

Hope it all goes well and really dont worry about the pain its really not that bad

How old are you?
It is a niave question for someone who is ready to have sex to be asking.

HouseHippo

Moonbaby wrote: »

How old are you?
It is a niave question for someone who is ready to have sex to be asking.

i have to disagree i'm afraid. I was very worried about the pain degree my first time, bleeding on bed sheets etc. I was with my bf 3 years on the pill and quite informed but still like any new experience it's scary.

Also I don't think age factors greatly in this as far as commited lengthy relationship, how comfortable they are with each other, if they are in love and if the girl herself feels she is ready for sex.

I was only 16 but I was madly in love and actually dying to have sex! I couldn't wait. We are still together now 2 years later

Dudess

Can't believe that article - I wish such scaremongering crap wasn't published.

I wouldn't even go as far as to use the word "painful" OP, moreso "uncomfortable". And yes, it really really depends on how relaxed and aroused/lubricated you are. Arousal causes changes that actually prepare the vagina for penetration.

spinandscribble

i remember when i lost mine, my "friend" tried to convince me beforehand i'd be split open! Like ripped up! She said this happened to her. Bull poo... didn't hurt one little bit.

HouseHippo

spinandscribble wrote: »

i remember when i lost mine, my "friend" tried to convince me beforehand i'd be split open! Like ripped up! She said this happened to her. Bull poo... didn't hurt one little bit.

Ah yeah you always have friends who say they are experienced but are virgins. You dont get ripped apart.

LegacyUser

I would assume that it is the fella you were talking about in this thread you started yesterday....

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055354836

if it is I would say its a bad idea that you were even considering losing something as important as your virginity to somebody you have such doubts about and apparently you don't know on a face to face basis that well, you sound like a young 18 tbh.

Darragh29

Faith wrote: »

don't feel pressured into it.

Why are people assuming that the OP is being pushed into this and warned in this respect??? It certainly doesn't sound like this is the case from her post, it's 2008 ffs...

spinandscribble

HouseHippo wrote: »

Ah yeah you always have friends who say they are experienced but are virgins. You dont get ripped apart.

at the time i assumed she just said this to scare me, i didn't buy it for one minute thank god!

by all means op put a towel down, have a lot of warming up and it'll be fine!

Phlann

badidea wrote: »

I would assume that it is the fella you were talking about in this thread you started yesterday....

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055354836

if it is I would say its a bad idea that you were even considering losing something as important as your virginity to somebody you have such doubts about and apparently you don't know on a face to face basis that well, you sound like a young 18 tbh.

Well spotted.

From the sounds of the other post, you're probably gonna get screwed (no apologies whatsoever for the pun).

drunkmonkey

badidea wrote: »

I would assume that it is the fella you were talking about in this thread you started yesterday....

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055354836

if it is I would say its a bad idea that you were even considering losing something as important as your virginity to somebody you have such doubts about and apparently you don't know on a face to face basis that well, you sound like a young 18 tbh.

+1
The part where you asked "how does the mind of a 22 year old work and is he only in it fir sex?"

Your correct, he's only in it for the sex, make sure he wares a condom.....by the way if he loves you he won't mind holding out a few weeks, maybe you should tease him for a month or so just to build up to the moment....and not by email.....actually meet up and see how ye get on.......

Tragedy

I'm curious how you havent lost it yet if all it takes to sleep with a guy is have him treat you like second best and tell you he picked someone else over you, but you're a good fallback option?

You might be ready to lose your virginity, the question is are you ready to lose your innocence too? Because that's a much bigger deal and is the real question.

05D

'hopes to grow to love me in time'

Don't even consider it. You will be left feeling used.

HouseHippo

05D wrote: »

'hopes to grow to love me in time'

Don't even consider it. You will be left feeling used.

DO NOT lose your virginity to this guy. You will regret it for the rest of your life. It's a special moment, you will rememerber it forever.

Just think of it this way.....would you be ashamed to tell your kids how you lost your virginity. If it was your daughter in this situation how would you advise her...

nomorebadtown

i think people should tone down thespecialness and wondersome magicalness of losing your virginity. It will probably be awkward, sweaty, grunty and a little uncomfotable. The magic happens after a good deal of practice, in my experience.

LolaLuv

nomorebadtown wrote: »

i think people should tone down thespecialness and wondersome magicalness of losing your virginity. It will probably be awkward, sweaty, grunty and a little uncomfotable. The magic happens after a good deal of practice, in my experience.

+1. There was nothing special about my first time, and I liked it that way. No regrets 7 years later.

Annie Bananie

badidea wrote: »

I would assume that it is the fella you were talking about in this thread you started yesterday....

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055354836

if it is I would say its a bad idea that you were even considering losing something as important as your virginity to somebody you have such doubts about and apparently you don't know on a face to face basis that well, you sound like a young 18 tbh.

+1

HouseHippo

nomorebadtown wrote: »

i think people should tone down thespecialness and wondersome magicalness of losing your virginity. It will probably be awkward, sweaty, grunty and a little uncomfotable. The magic happens after a good deal of practice, in my experience.

You still shouldnt sleep with some guy who is going to dump you afterwards, and make you feel like a slut.