Newly separated..advice needed

Princess Leia

Hi hoping someone out there can give me some advice...after some problems my DH and I are living separately after 10years.. Long story short an exBFgot in touch ages ago and asked me to meet up last year.We talked and he asked me to meet again,but I said no as I felt it would develop into something more than friendship.A few days later he emailed me to say that he was back with an old GF.
When my DH and I split up recently I texted this guy as I was feeling low.He was angry and got his GF to text me back saying that I wasnt to leave my marriage for him! I was shocked since we had only met once & talked. I texted him back and told him this.I felt so embarrased that this was the vibe he got.
Now some weeks later I am getting texts from him,(some at 3am) asking me how I am or "you can talk to me anytime". Now it's been 15 years since I was dating(pre text/pre internet Days) and I don't know what this means or how to handle it. I like him and really really need friends especially now..BUT can you text someone of the opposite sex as a friend or is it seen as meaning more?We live in different parts of the country so dont bunp into each other at all. PLEASE can any one help me as I am feeling like a dinosaur with this whole boy/girl text thing.

Karen_*

Well being newly separated I'd say the last thing you need is to get involved in a text relationship with someone who's attached. And just texting isn't really a friendship is it?

Plus that was a totally bizarre response you got from him when you texted him to tell him your marriage had broken up. I think you can probably do without this guy.

SpookyDoll

Princess Leia wrote: »

Hi hoping someone out there can give me some advice...after some problems my DH and I are living separately after 10years.. Long story short an exBFgot in touch ages ago and asked me to meet up last year.We talked and he asked me to meet again,but I said no as I felt it would develop into something more than friendship.A few days later he emailed me to say that he was back with an old GF.
When my DH and I split up recently I texted this guy as I was feeling low.He was angry and got his GF to text me back saying that I wasnt to leave my marriage for him! I was shocked since we had only met once & talked. I texted him back and told him this.I felt so embarrased that this was the vibe he got.
Now some weeks later I am getting texts from him,(some at 3am) asking me how I am or "you can talk to me anytime". Now it's been 15 years since I was dating(pre text/pre internet Days) and I don't know what this means or how to handle it. I like him and really really need friends especially now..BUT can you text someone of the opposite sex as a friend or is it seen as meaning more?We live in different parts of the country so dont bunp into each other at all. PLEASE can any one help me as I am feeling like a dinosaur with this whole boy/girl text thing.

Princess, leave well enough alone!

His current GF is aware of you and not best pleased and he is giving you late night (most likely drunken) text equivalent to a booty call.

At the moment that might feel like a compliment as your self esteem is probably low, but believe me you dont want to find out how you would feel afterwards if you get involved in such a mess.

After a long termer you need something simple and pleasant, straightforward and happy, a practice run, whatever, you do not need to be messing with another womans man, he sounds weak by the way, the fooker so disregard your history and forget about him, you do not need the heartache right now.

Hopefully a nice man will come along soon, be patient and run a mile from this one.

Zzippy

Delete his number and cut all contact. For your part, he's in a relationship and you will only cause trouble with his OH. For his part, he may well be looking for a bit of excitement, but both of you are much different people now than when you went out. I sincerely doubt he's just texting as a platonic friend.

Secondly, and more importantly, you're just out of a long term relationship. Jumping into another one on the rebound won't do you or the other person any good. Take some time to yourself, think about what you want out of life, catch up with friends, maybe travel a bit before throwing yourself back into the dating scene. You'll know yourself when you're ready, and you'll enjoy meeting someone more having had a bit of time off.

Princess Leia

Thanks for the honest replies,it helps to get another person's point of view.I am going to take the advice about taking time for myself as my head is all over the place.
Today he texted me and asked how I was & I replied that I was going out,keeping busy and looking after me..so hoping that's the end of it.
Not sure I like this texting lark..getting me into trouble :eek:

Talliesin

One can certainly text friends of the opposite sex without it meaning anything else.

However, I don't get the sense that this would be the case with this particular person.

anthony4335

I agree with the others. Anything to do with this guy for the moment is a whole lot of trouble you do not need, right now. What you need to do is find/reconnect with some real friends (gender is not an issue, people of the oposite sex can be the best of friends ), who will help you get through this difficult period of your life. Chin up. You will find that there are plenty of good times yet to come.

Princess Leia

Thanks for that..I will have to try and stay clear as really dont need any complications right now..life's tricky enough! I'm hoping he has figured it out by now cos I haven't had a 3am text for a few days now;).Thanks again