1st Birthday Party - How many people

Sulukie

Hi
Our long awaited much loved little one is going to be one in a couple of weeks and we want to celebrate

My question is where do I draw the line when issuing invites. Close family grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins come to twenty people and I thought we would stick to that. The only problem is we are very close to husbands extended family, they live near us and he's godfather to two of his cousins children. We have been at all their birthday parties aged one to four. Do I include them making nearly forty people or not.

I want our little one to be close to them but I don't want to put pressure on anyone to give up a Saturday afternoon or feel they need to buy a present. Also if I invite them this year do I have to have forty people at every birthday. I really don't want to hurt any ones feelings either.

Any suggestions!
What did all of you do.

Sulukie

littlebug

Sulukie wrote: »

What did all of you do.

Sulukie

lol we did nothing! We avoided the whole party thing while we could get away with it i.e. no parties til age 4. Of course we had a little cake and presents just by ourselves but that was it.
Not really having many relatives takes the presure off of course

So sorry I''m not much help... but really getting yourself into a situation where you have to invite at least 40 people to every birthday sounds like a nightmare to me:(

Nevyn

Well are you marking the first birthday or using as an excuse for a socail event for family ?
Do you feel compelled to have a large gathering as that is how other people have done it ?
What do you want to do yourself with out taking anyone else into consideration ?

Sulukie

Thaedydal wrote: »

Well are you marking the first birthday or using as an excuse for a socail event for family ?
Do you feel compelled to have a large gathering as that is how other people have done it ?
What do you want to do yourself with out taking anyone else into consideration ?

Great questions Thaedydal, I really do want to mark his first birthday. The forty people I'm talking about I really like and I know they are going to be important people in my sons life. Yes I do feel a certain obligation to invite everyone because we have always been included in all of their kids birthdays, but its my sons birthday and I want him to enjoy it and if I have forty people in the house at once I know I'm going to end up running around feeding them and ds is going to be ignored or tormented with people pulling out of him.

When you say what do I want I guess I want to spread his birthday over a few days so we can see everyone but in smaller groups so I can sit and enjoy catching up with people.

Would it seem very rude to say to family that we will be home on Saturday afternoon - dh's family, Sunday afternoon - my family and while we don't want any big fuss we would like them to call in for an hour to have a cup of tea and a slice of birthday cake, no presents needed, or do you think it would just look as though we are too mean to organise a proper party.

I really like the idea of smaller groups where I can get to talk to people and ds will be relaxed.

Am I just asking for double the trouble.

Sheena99

Actually, I think that sounds like a great way to handle it, much better for everyone to get to chat and have a proper visit, than a mad gathering, crowded with you doing mad waitress service. Sounds like a plan, and one I might be borrowing!

Love2love

I just stuck to immediate family as if we invited everyone, there would have been at least 100 people there.
Most people understand and probably wouldnt want to go anyway!

deisemum

I think first birthdays are special. We lived abroad when my older boy was one and didn't have any family around. I had met and made friends with 5 other mums from my ante-natal classes and we all had our babies within 6 weeks of each other and we used to take turns meeting up in each others homes on a weekly basis.

We had one joint party for the 6 x 1 year olds and us mums, no one else but on individual birthdays some of us had a small party with those of us who were around.

1 year olds don't have a clue what a birthday is so it's more for everyone elses benefit.

I'd advise keep things simple and stick to just one day rather than dragging it out. God when I think back to all the work and bother I went to baking and cooking for both adults and children and putting myself under pressure as well as being heavily pregnant and only a few weeks in our house that was being gutted (for the older boy's second birthday) it's no wonder I had the second lad 4 weeks early.

As mine got older and I got wiser I opted for smaller parties we just had a family "tea" on the day where it was just the local grandparents or aunt and had the friends for a party on a different day.

As they got older it's just their friends and none of the relations. My older boy will be 13 in 3 weeks time and has no interest in a party. All he wants is to go to the cinema, order in lots of pizza and have a few friends for a sleepover.

Ludo

Sulukie wrote: »

Would it seem very rude to say to family that we will be home on Saturday afternoon - dh's family, Sunday afternoon - my family and while we don't want any big fuss we would like them to call in for an hour to have a cup of tea and a slice of birthday cake, no presents needed, or do you think it would just look as though we are too mean to organise a proper party.

I really like the idea of smaller groups where I can get to talk to people and ds will be relaxed.

Am I just asking for double the trouble.

Ugh...a whole weekend of relatives arriving and having to clean up after each get together...not for me thanks. Would prefer to have one day to ourselves (and maybe the grandparents) to do our own thing and then get everything else out of the way the other day. Don't get me wrong now, I love big family get togethers but a whole weekend of it would just do my head in. But that is just me..I like and value my quiet time

Having said that, I don't think you should pay any attention to what your family or others may think. Do what you want to get the most of it for yourself and whatever you think will cause least disruption to the little one. In fairness, whatever you do, the families will probably find fault anyway...it's what they do best

Dfens

The first birthday is more for the family than the child really as they won't remember much, if anything of the big day. Your little one might be a bit overwhelmed and tired out with a very large number of poeple all wanting to hug or cuddle him/her during the party.

When our daugther turned one, we had just immediate family (about 13) at our home. You do want it to be special but take it easy on yourself & enjoy the day with your baby too rather than waiting on guests or staying up until the wee hours the night before baking a cake.....;)

flynnc8

OP, You are stressing out of nothing really.

Firstly, not all of the 40 invites on your list will be able to make it, there is bound to be a few that have to work or have children who are unwell.

Secondly, if the majority of your relatives have there own children with them , they will be busy ensuring there on their best behaviour and not acting inappropriately. Which means that you will not be obliged to keep conversation flowing from the beginning of the day to the ehd.

Thirdly, regardless of 10 or 40 guests there will be havock of some sort.

Its a birthday party and one that is suppose to be memoriable, just put some sweets, sandwiches, crisps and minerals out on a table. Some music on the sterio and some form of entertainment for the slightly older children. Then sit back relax, mingle and enjoy the day....

lostinnappies

Sulukie wrote: »

Hi
Our long awaited much loved little one is going to be one in a couple of weeks and we want to celebrate

My question is where do I draw the line when issuing invites. Close family grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins come to twenty people and I thought we would stick to that. The only problem is we are very close to husbands extended family, they live near us and he's godfather to two of his cousins children. We have been at all their birthday parties aged one to four. Do I include them making nearly forty people or not.

I want our little one to be close to them but I don't want to put pressure on anyone to give up a Saturday afternoon or feel they need to buy a present. Also if I invite them this year do I have to have forty people at every birthday. I really don't want to hurt any ones feelings either.

Any suggestions!
What did all of you do.

Sulukie

Hey go nuts, it your little ones first birthday .. they dont have to come if they dont want to but if they are invited then they cant complain. My first little fella we had 50 people... he didnt know what was happening but really it wasnt 100% for him, te he i just love kids parties (big child:p)

the glass woman

We just celbrated our first's first birthday the other weekend, like that we look for any excuse to throw big parties, so invited both sets of grandparents, aunties, uncles, my 3 nephews, and then all of our friends, i think the total was nearly 30 but both nana's helped with the food and i made the cake, and i must say we had a blast. So did our son, but he's a real little social guy anyway so the noise and people didnt phase him in the slightest. That was actually the day of the really bad floods so we ended up with 5 extra guests for the night so finding duvets and blow up beds for everyone was even more of a laugh! I say go for it, get it all over in one day and divvy up the food preperation, then lay it all out on the table and let them at it.. by choosing food that can be served at room temperature kept me free from huffing and puffing at the cooker while everyone was having fun..

Shelli

I don't know if this is of any help, but this is what we did and my reasoning for it:

We felt that a one year old wouldn't enjoy/understand a big party, as you said, being the host I wouldn't have had time to spend giving ds all the attention he deserved on his big day.

BUT.... we also wanted to celebrate the first year of being parents, and getting through it in one piece! LOL

So, we spent the day with our DS, spoiling him rotten with attention. Brought him out for the day, got his present, had a picnic in the park and let him play with his new present (a trike). Then at tea time we went home, had everyone invited over for about 7ish, had his cake and a few sambos, let him lap up the attention for a little while and then he went to bed content.

The adults then had their own party till the wee hours of the morning!.


This only really worked for us as ds is the only grandchild so we don't have to consider other children yet!

Victor

Alternatively go for a disco ball and you won't hear a peep out of the toddlers for hours.