Need advice...seeing friends ex.

LegacyUser

Okay, my friend of a few years was seeing a guy for a few months. She really liked him, but he treated her badly, constantly cheated on her and was just an idiot in general. They've been split a while now, say 8 months.

I have been out on a few nights out recently and have bumped in to him. My friend was not with me. We had a drink and caught up, had a chat. Long story short, we ended up kissing. Following weekend, this Friday past, same thing happened. Straight away I thought that nothing serious would ever happen between us, at least nothing serious. I have heard from my friend what he can be like and I dont want to get involved with that...Im happy single anyway at the minute. Problem is, after the last time I kissed him I can feel myself starting to like him. I promised that I wouldnt because it would be too awkward between my friend and I.

Either way now Im gonna have to tell my friend about what has happened, even though I really think its in everyones best interests to tell him where to go and why. I could be selfish and not tell her nothing, but some mutual friends have seen us, so I need to tell her before someone else does. I know straight off she's going to be really angry with me (a friend of ours is seeing a guy she just kissed once ages ago and she was far impressed at that) and this will probably put a wedge in our friendship.

Do I tell her? How would I approach it? Ahhhh what a mess !

RedXIV

for starters, realise what your getting yourself into. You've got a friend you're probably going to lose if you going into a relationship with a crap guy. you'll lose respect from anyone who knows about his history. if one of my friends went into a relationship with a guy of that kind of reputation, i'd be reminding her on a regular basis the stupidity of her decision.

Get this guy out of your system. Then tell your friend you did something really stupid and you really want her to understand that it was a drunken mistake. after that it's in her hands.

Best of luck

Red

LegacyUser

Thanks for the reply. Ive been thinking that telling her the craic and telling him I dont want to continue will be for the best. Just havent a clue how to approach it. She'll go crazy, I know it. It really was one of those things that just happened...I wouldnt have looked twice at him before.

Aurora Borealis

Stuff happens and if it was just a drunken dalliance then just put it down to experience. If it's more tell your friend but it's not an easy course of action nor one that seems recommendable considering this guys track record but people can change too.

Above all else make sure this is something that really means something to you before you do start anything with this guy and that he's worth the trouble it may cause.

Dragan

This dude should right a book i think.

Sounds like you are falling for whatever rubbish your mate feel for.

Tell your mate you drunkenly kissed him then move on from it.

AARRRGH

1. You don't get together with your friend's ex. That's a general rule of life.
2. Why the **** would you want to get together with a guy who treats women badly? Seriously, seriously, look into this (consider counselling) to save yourself a a lot of future unhappiness.

millyj

if one of my so called friend went with a guy who treated me badly i would feel so betrayed. obviusly this friend of yours was upset over how he treated her and probably told you all about it and now you would commit the biggest betrayal of all by disregarding how this idiot treated her and going off with him yourself. have you no respect for her or you?

LegacyUser

Aarrrgh- I don't particularly want to get involved with him cos of his history. I like him, wish I didnt.

Milly- I know what you mean. I don't really know whats gotten in to me, I've never been a mates ex in my life, especially not a crap one!

LegacyUser

I took the plunge and told her. She said it was okay and that she was totally over him. As the conversation went on however she didnt sound like someone who was over him. She stopped texting me. Think Ill just leave her to contact me, but it had to be said.