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regretting decision

  • 11-08-2008 10:41am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I decided to move back home a month ago. I have various reasons for doing it - my dad is sick at the moment and I was diagnosed with depression so I need to be near my family at the moment.

    I leave here on Saturday but the thing I am getting really emotional and I dont know if I am making the right decision.

    I will really miss it here and I have made a lot of great friends. I will also miss my job and if I am honest I will miss my boss a lot as he has become someone I can talk to about everything....

    Im just all mixed up.....I dont know if going home is what i want.....

    I know my boss would take me back on in a second if I told him i wanted to stay... maybe that a bad thing!

    Anyone ever been in my shoes?

    ps: sorry for the rambling post just stuff thats in my head!


Comments

  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,361 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    If you regret your decision and it's still possible to keep your job, then why not just stay?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 954 ✭✭✭marti101


    Talk to your boss and see if s/he will keep your job open for 6 months while you return home.If it feels wrong at home you can go back to your job.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 129 ✭✭mbren


    Hey OP,

    I was in a similar situation to you last year...diagnosed with depression, dad was sick as well. When my mum suggested moving home, I thought she was mad!

    The more I thought about it, th emore it made sense. So I handed in my notice and moved home...It was without a shadow of a doubt, the best thing I ever did. I have since overcome my depression, caught up with all my old mates and now am way happier than I have been in years!

    I missed the big smoke for about a week and then realised how stress free life is down the country!

    Anyway, that was my experience of moving home...you have nothing to lose. Either way, I hope it works out for you ;-)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 494 ✭✭trio


    Your boss sounds very kind but he's not a counsellor and being able to cry on his shoulder on a regular basis shouldn't be a reason for you to consider staying. It's not fair on him, for a start.

    Of course you're freaked out - you're suffering from depression! It makes everything seem huge and it's hard to cope with any change. So it's entirely normal to feel this way - in fact, I'd be staggered if you didn't!

    Hell, I don't suffer from depression (any more - I did for years) and even now I'd be really daunted by the prospect of moving in with my folks - and I like my folks!

    I think it's probably a good idea to downsize right now - but make sure to get yourself into a nice routine down home. Go for a long walk every day, for example. That can be your "me time". And exercise is an enormous help in relieving the symptoms of depression.

    The danger is that you'll just retreat into your old bedroom and watch Home and Away for a month because you won't have an identifiable routine. You have to create a routine. So make sure you do.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 827 ✭✭✭thebaldsoprano


    Do you think you could explain clearly what's happening to your boss and ask for a months unpaid leave?

    People can be amazingly understanding in situations like this and it'd take the pressure off and clear your head while deciding what to do.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    They have been really understandong already.

    I Have a job in Dublin already.

    I spoke to him this morning and said what marti101 said. he said that my job will always be here if i want to come back.

    Trio thanks for your advice. Thats the one thing I am afraid of happening.....but I will do what you say. I have also just organised a counselling session with my old counsellor for when i go back up.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Do you think you could explain clearly what's happening to your boss and ask for a months unpaid leave?
    Excellent idea. I think if you've doubts OP, you should trust your gut instinct - it's there for a reason. See what the maximum leave allowance is for situations like this.
    I made a decision to move away recently too, but when the time came, I realised how good I had it and I really did not want to make the move. I ended up doing so anyway and was back after two weeks! (That was just pure luck though, thanks too a fantastically timed job offer).


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