Yet another one

LegacyUser

Ok, gone unreg for this and even as I'm typing my head is screaming at me to cop onto myself and get over things.
Bit of a long story, so bear with me.

In february of this year i met this girl through a dating website. After a bit of time spent texting, msn-ing and chatting on the phone we met up, and everything that I had hoped for seemed true. This was a stunning looking woman, and there was no difference between the woman I met and the woman who I had gotten to know over the phone.
She had just broken up with a guy after a year. but he was still calling around to hers cos her kids (from a previous relationship) and him really got on.

We waited a while before we got really intimate but were in contact a few times every day, and would see each other at least once a week. Everything was going perfectly, no b/s or anything like that, just 2 people who were really getting on really well.
One night, About half way through May, we were lying on the couch in her place and she said "You know, when i think of you and me i'm thinking long term, and it doesn't freak me out." I replied that i was feeling the same, and that was all fine and dandy. The next weekend i was away in Cardiff at the Heinekein European Cup Final and when i came back things seemed a small bit different. The Monday after i called over to her and she told me we needed to talk........ Apparently she had been not quite broken up with her ex all the while we were together. But she told me that she was going to finish with him, and like a fool i believed her. A few days later she told me that she had met him and finished with him. And in the next breadth told me that she didn't want to be with anyone at that time, but we'd stay in contact. A few days later, she told me that she owed it to herself to give things another go with the ex. This was all within a week and a half of the 'not getting freaked out' speech, and I admit, I was really hurt.

In July I met another woman, and things are going well with us. She's great company and we really get on well. My friends and family all say she's really nice and we seem to just click well.

Then on Friday I got a msn message....... From the woman I met in February. She and the other guy have broken up, and this time for real. We were just chatting but I did have a bit of a grin on my face. And a flutter of excitement too.

So here I am, on a Sunday evening, after spending all weekend with the woman I'm seeing......and all I was doing was thinking of the woman who hurt me. And not thinking of her in a bad way.

My head is well and truely melted at this stage. The head says i can't trust her but the head also knows that it's really wrong to be with someone when the heart wants someone else.

ergonomics

Delete the other woman's address from your MSN and don't think about her again. She hurt you once, she's just as likely to do it again. Simple.

Karen_*

Well you say you were a fool to beleive her the first time she said they'd definately broken up. don't be a fool the second time.

Even if it's true, you already know that he only has to snap his fingers and she'll come running. You already know that her word means nothing. You already know that you were just the sub.

I beleive you want what you haven't got OP and don't appreciate what you do have. Go with your head, it's telling you it like it is. Your heart is dressing it up another way.

LegacyUser

Karen_* wrote: »

Well you say you were a fool to beleive her the first time she said they'd definately broken up. don't be a fool the second time.

Even if it's true, you already know that he only has to snap his fingers and she'll come running. You already know that her word means nothing. You already know that you were just the sub.

I beleive you want what you haven't got OP and don't appreciate what you do have. Go with your head, it's telling you it like it is. Your heart is dressing it up another way.

My head is also telling me to do the right thing and finish with the woman I'm with now. Because it's unfair on her, and she's could end up getting hurt.

Or do i ignore my head on this one and see if we can make a go of it?

If I finish it with her, she gets hurt. If we stay together and it works out, she doesn't get hurt.

Liam Byrne

Maybe she saw you out with the new girl and decided to butt in......?

"You know, when i think of you and me i'm thinking long term, and it doesn't freak me out."

Heard something similar last year and initially nearly ran a mile, but decided to stick with it and then ended up being the one left high and dry.

Heard a "I could get used to you and then I wouldn't know what to do without you" (from a VERY casual thing) earlier this year and ended up getting dropped because she met someone else on one of the night I couldn't be out with her and within 3 days was "seeing" them.

Basically, lots of people say lots of things and don't necessarily mean them. If the current g/f and you are going well, remember that she hasn't done anything to make you doubt her while the other girl has.

Zen 2nd

gone un reg wrote: »

My head is well and truely melted at this stage. The head says i can't trust her but the head also knows that it's really wrong to be with someone when the heart wants someone else.

The February woman had her chance. Your only remembering good memories of this February woman, try to think realistically of the present and see that you have a woman who isn't messing with you.

TheDriver

Think you know the answer 99% of posters are going to say to you, its fairly obvious! Theres human nature thinking about what might have been etc but keep away from her, don't even reply and if she persists, then say you are with someone else and sorry!

wasper

gone un reg wrote: »

Ok, gone unreg for this and even as I'm typing my head is screaming at me to cop onto myself and get over things.
Bit of a long story, so bear with me.

In february of this year i met this girl through a dating website. After a bit of time spent texting, msn-ing and chatting on the phone we met up, and everything that I had hoped for seemed true. This was a stunning looking woman, and there was no difference between the woman I met and the woman who I had gotten to know over the phone.
She had just broken up with a guy after a year. but he was still calling around to hers cos her kids (from a previous relationship) and him really got on.

We waited a while before we got really intimate but were in contact a few times every day, and would see each other at least once a week. Everything was going perfectly, no b/s or anything like that, just 2 people who were really getting on really well.
One night, About half way through May, we were lying on the couch in her place and she said "You know, when i think of you and me i'm thinking long term, and it doesn't freak me out." I replied that i was feeling the same, and that was all fine and dandy. The next weekend i was away in Cardiff at the Heinekein European Cup Final and when i came back things seemed a small bit different. The Monday after i called over to her and she told me we needed to talk........ Apparently she had been not quite broken up with her ex all the while we were together. But she told me that she was going to finish with him, and like a fool i believed her. A few days later she told me that she had met him and finished with him. And in the next breadth told me that she didn't want to be with anyone at that time, but we'd stay in contact. A few days later, she told me that she owed it to herself to give things another go with the ex. This was all within a week and a half of the 'not getting freaked out' speech, and I admit, I was really hurt.

In July I met another woman, and things are going well with us. She's great company and we really get on well. My friends and family all say she's really nice and we seem to just click well.

Then on Friday I got a msn message....... From the woman I met in February. She and the other guy have broken up, and this time for real. We were just chatting but I did have a bit of a grin on my face. And a flutter of excitement too.

So here I am, on a Sunday evening, after spending all weekend with the woman I'm seeing......and all I was doing was thinking of the woman who hurt me. And not thinking of her in a bad way.

My head is well and truely melted at this stage. The head says i can't trust her but the head also knows that it's really wrong to be with someone when the heart wants someone else.

If you continue to contact her, then you are behaving like her. She was hedging her bet between her ex & you. You found another woman & when the ex contacted you are hedging your bets between the 2 women.
My advice to send an email to the Feb woman & finish it for good. Concentrate on the second woman.