One-Way Relationship

LegacyUser

Been with my Boyfriend for over 8 months now, and basically it feels like I love him more than he loves me. Like alot more. Like, it sometimes feels like he doesnt love me at all...

To start out with, I've been with a couple of what you might call "rough" lads, they always had eyes for other women and left me not heartbroken, 'cause I never fell in love with any of them, but more pissed off in general.

So then I met HIM and I decided to give him a clean slate, not base my relationship around what happened with the other boys and just start over basically.
I fell in love with him really quickly, probably around 3 months in but wouldnt tell him until he told me... he told me one night out of the blue and I was made up...yet as the months have gone on, I've found myself falling more and more in love with him but it feels like he said he loved me, now thats it.

He never says anything romantic to me, I dont think he's ever called me beautiful... He just rolls over after sex, He spends more time with his friends than me, When I put a romantic song on, He changes it and goes "what did you put that sh*te on for?", He only says he loves me because I say it first... its desperate,
I'm a total romantic, and its like he sees me more as a friend with benefits. I've caught him looking at me a couple of times like he is actually in love with me (you know those looks) but thats it.

I feel horrible for having to admit it but I really dont think he loves me. I do love him despite all this because basically Im wingeing that he's not romantic... he's my best friend and I trust him so much and he makes me laugh, he's gorgeous, great in bed, I can tlk to him about anything, he's a genuine guy who just wants to work hard to make his mammy proud... he's perfect in every way...

am I just too demanding or what should I do? Breaking up is NOT an option, I couldnt live without him... Should I just get over it??

Flojo

You really should sit him down and talk to him. Does he even know you're feeling any of this?
Hes probably got too comfortable in the relationship and feels he doesn't have to please you as much anymore. Make it known you're not one bit happy with this. Ask him to try make more of an effort.
Maybe suggest you both go on a holiday or start spending more time together trying new things. Also spicing up the sex life could help a bit, excite him again!

If however your still running in circles another 8 months down the line - you know what you have to do.

Good luck

LegacyUser

lostinlove417 wrote: »

I feel horrible for having to admit it but I really dont think he loves me. I do love him despite all this because basically Im wingeing that he's not romantic... he's my best friend and I trust him so much and he makes me laugh, he's gorgeous, great in bed, I can tlk to him about anything, he's a genuine guy who just wants to work hard to make his mammy proud... he's perfect in every way...

am I just too demanding or what should I do? Breaking up is NOT an option, I couldnt live without him... Should I just get over it??

About the Mammy - WTF????

Why isn't breaking up an option??

Why couldn't you live without him?? What..you would miss how badly he treats you in the situations you described above?? You said you 'think' he doesn't love you.

It sounds a very one-sided 'relationship' to me. You say 'he makes me laugh, he's gorgeous, great in bed, I can tlk to him about anything, he's a genuine guy' ...girl, most guys are like this!!!!!

Now why do Irish girls fall for these fools/mammys boys who get away with murder??. Cop on girl and get out (I am a 30 y.o. guy)

LegacyUser

30yearoldguy wrote: »

About the Mammy - WTF????

My point was that he's a nice guy like, he's not all about zooming round in his car or going on "mad ones", he's just a nice guy like...

30yearoldguy wrote: »

Why isn't breaking up an option??

Ehm.. because I do love him, despite everything.

Maybe I was a bit harsh... it FEELS like he doesnt love me... not necessarily true...just not the nicest feeling in the world... I want to sort it out because I want to be with him, just dont know how to put it... or if I should say anything at all?

[/QUOTE]

MagicMarker

lostinlove417 wrote: »

I'm a total romantic

There's your problem right there. This isn't a disney movie OP, and it never will be.

Although, i do agree that he could make a little bit more of an effort, but sure how will he know this if you don't tell him?

RedXIV

I'm with MagicMarker on this one.

Unfortuately there are hugely varying levels of romance in people and it's possible that this guy, while containing all the other traits you desire, just doesn't do the big romantic thing.

In fairness, you sound like your doing pretty well with everything else, he seems to be a great lad. But if he's not wired to do romantic things, then it'll be near impossible to change that

jellie

lostinlove417 wrote: »

Breaking up is NOT an option, I couldnt live without him...

This is probably it to be honest. its almost like desperation. it can be sensed. theres a different between loving someone & making someone your entire life after 8 months.

im not at all saying that you should break up with him, but if youre unhappy in a relationship you have to consider it as an option. obviously try talk to him & sort out your issues first. but you say its not an option, how bad do things have to be before it IS an option?

Talk to him & tell him how youre feeling. if he loves you then he will make an effort. but also remember relationships arent all romance & flowers, real life has to come into it too.

Miss Fluff

Some people are not as demonstrative as others OP. He wouldn't be with you if he didn't love you and by internalizing it all you could potentially jeopardise it. Without getting heavy about it, just tell him you want more romance and if he does you'll reward him accordingly.;) Can put money on it that he thinks all is rosy in the garden because he loves you and you love him. A gentle nudge in the right direction wouldn't go astray.

K-9

I have to ask the question I hate being asked here, what age are you?

lostinlove417 wrote: »

Been with my Boyfriend for over 8 months now, and basically it feels like I love him more than he loves me. Like alot more. Like, it sometimes feels like he doesnt love me at all...

You feel? Have you talked to him?

lostinlove wrote:

He never says anything romantic to me, I dont think he's ever called me beautiful... He just rolls over after sex,

What do you want him to do after sex?

lostinlove wrote:

He spends more time with his friends than me,

Nothing particularly wrong with that. How many friends have you?

lostinlove wrote:

When I put a romantic song on, He changes it and goes "what did you put that sh*te on for?", He only says he loves me because I say it first... its desperate,

Some of us hate hate soppy stuff, Celine Dion eg. :rolleyes:

lostinlove wrote:

I'm a total romantic, and its like he sees me more as a friend with benefits. I've caught him looking at me a couple of times like he is actually in love with me (you know those looks) but thats it.

Contradiction there. It's unlikely it's a friend with benefits at this stage.

lostinlove wrote:

I do love him despite all this because basically Im wingeing that he's not romantic... he's my best friend and I trust him so much and he makes me laugh, he's gorgeous, great in bed, I can tlk to him about anything, he's a genuine guy who just wants to work hard to make his mammy proud... he's perfect in every way...

Ah, unless he treats you badly in someway you haven't mentioned to date, what are you moaning about?

lostinlove wrote:

am I just too demanding or what should I do? Breaking up is NOT an option, I couldnt live without him... Should I just get over it??

Sounds like you are too demanding though I'm sure he could do better.

Breaking up is ALWAYS an option! Why not?

LegacyUser

You only are with him 8 months, you lived without him before you met him! I know it sounds cliched but cop on saying that you couldn't live without him!. Yes you could!

Another thing you said:
"he's not all about zooming round in his car or going on "mad ones", he's just a nice guy like..."

Erm...what exactly is a mad one??

You may think he is a nice guy, but if he was a nice guy you wouldnt be posting your problem on this board.

I think the fact that you have not mentioned anything about his behaviour to him, says a lot about you.

I know if I was behaving like this with a girl, I would be shown the door asap...Why? Because I am the total opposite to your guy. Why? bacause I'm not a bad boy. And bad boys get away with thiis.

Your guy is, or else he has got the mix correct on how to treat you. He has won. He has annoyed you and you are now at his mercy.

b3t4

Your boyfriend is not a mind reader.

There is no point you feeling like this and not discussing it with him. How can anything change if you remain silent about what you'd like to happen? I'm sure you wouldn't even be looking for that much beyond a little more reassurance that your heart is in the right place.

Speak with him. If he's a lovely as you say he is he'll take what you're saying on board and do something about it.

A.