Gym shame

tallaght01

So, I was in Sydney this week, on holidays.

I was staying in these real posh apartments overlooking the harbour. Very nice indeed, I must say.

The have all the facilities you could want, too. And as I'm trying to get my fat arse into shape, i've been using their gym all week.

This place was full of really posh people, so the totty was fantastic.

I was almost finished in the gym yesterday. Had done some work on the rowing machine and exercise bike, and then some weights. And I capped it all off with a 5km run on the threadmill, going at a speed of about 11km/hour. I don't know about the rest of you, but that's enough to pretty much finish me off.

I'd reached 5 kilometres, and I was winding down. I don't turn the threadmill off as soon as I reach my target. I just slow it down for a minute or 2 and bring it to a gradual stop, or I get really dizzy.

So, I'd slowed it down to about 4km/hour, which is pretty much walking pace. But I looked and felt dreadful. I mean, to the untrained observer, I wold have looked like there was something wrong with me.

Then this group of 5 girls walked in to have a look around the gym. They were outrageously hot Americans. They must have been a cheerleading squad or something. Proper hot hot hot. They seemed to be talking about going for a workout later, and were just having a nosey. I was the only other person in there.

So, the scene is this:

5 of the hottest girls I've ever seen in my life walk into the gym. They look at me, exhausted, bright red, dripping in sweat.....WALKING on the threadmill. I wanted to tell them that I was on death's door because I'd had a hard workout, and not because I was simply walking. But alas I didn't have the energy to speak.

They left about 2 mins later, but I could hear them outside the door. Here's what they said...........

"Ohhhhh myyyyy goddddd, did you see that guy? He looked like he was about to die, and he was just STROLLING on the threadmill. It's a good thing they have elevators in here, or he'd never get to his apartment".

WHAT THE FOOK???!!!??????

So I climbed off the threadmill, and lay down to do 2 sit ups before making the walk of shame to my room.

So, what would the guys here have done? Would you have chased after them and, I dunno, done 50 press-ups in front of them? Should I have challenged them?

My pride is severely dented, it has to be said :P

Overheal

I laughed. I cried. I laughed.

iPlop

tallaght01 wrote: »

"Ohhhhh myyyyy goddddd, did you see that guy? He looked like he was about to die, and he was just STROLLING on the threadmill. It's a good thing they have elevators in here, or he'd never get to his apartment".

WHAT THE FOOK???!!!??????
:P

Maaan!! I dunno wat to say.I mean thats the unluckiest thing ive' ever heard cos you know no matter wat you do for them hot hot chicks ,they still see you as an unfit waster who is gonna be out of breath after the first thrust of their dripping ;)P***ys

MarkR

Let that be a lesson to you crazy gym people. Never mind working out safely, just make sure you look cool.

I probably would have jumped off it with a back flip and said loud enough for anyone to hear "26 miles, and a new record" followed by a few cock pushups. Then maybe nonchalantly lick my eyebrows.

tallaght01

Septic Leper wrote: »

Maaan!! I dunno wat to say.I mean thats the unluckiest thing ive' ever heard cos you know no matter wat you do for them hot hot chicks ,they still see you as an unfit waster who is gonna be out of breath after the first thrust of their dripping ;)P***ys

LOL it's so true.

Can I also take this oportunity to congratulate you for having my new favourite username.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

So you're in a foreign city. On holiday. And you need to walk/run 5/10 kilometers...

...and you deicde to do it on a threadmill in a gym...?

Either Sydney outdoors is one depressing city or you are one boring and lazy indvidual!!

tallaght01

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Either Sydney outdoors is one depressing city or you are one boring and lazy indvidual!!

Thanks for embracing the banterous nature of the thread. I walked every single day around Sydney from about 10am-5pm continuously.

You've obviously never tried running fast for 5km around Sydney city centre.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

tallaght01 wrote: »

Thanks for embracing the banterous nature of the thread. I walked every single day around Sydney from about 10am-5pm continuously.

You've obviously never tried running fast for 5km around Sydney city centre.

The parks, man, the parks (Sydney does have parks, I presume...?)!

It's a bit like coming to Dublin for the craic and then drinking in your hotel room...

Blitzkrieger

No matter what the circumstances the first rule of the gym is : if a hottie is looking at you, you suck in your gut and pick up the pace.

TBH, that's what I hate about the gym and 'exercising' as a whole. One of the lads was talking about how he went for a twenty mile run, and was on the home stretch back to his apartment when a guy passed him. Now, he's after doing twenty miles so he's doing a nice even pace, but to a casual observer it looks like they're out running together and he can't keep up.

Much prefer soccer. Running a five mile circuit seems so boring to me. Chasing a ball with 21 other lads makes much more sense....

tallaght01

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

The parks, man, the parks (Sydney does have parks, I presume...?)!

The parks are still in the city!!! Have you ever breathed in Sydney city centre air???

Blitzkrieger wrote: »

No matter what the circumstances the first rule of the gym is : if a hottie is looking at you, you suck in your gut and pick up the pace.

Much prefer soccer. Running a five mile circuit seems so boring to me. Chasing a ball with 21 other lads makes much more sense....

I remember this when I was doing marathon training. Now matter how bollocksed we were when we were out training, as soon as we passed by a hot bird, the speed increased and the chests poked out. As if we were ever gonna see them again lol

I much prefer soccer too. There's not much of a social network round here, though. I do martial arts twice a week, but I still need to go to the gym a few times to keep up the fitness. I agree I'd do away with them gym if I could, but for now it's a neccessity

FlutterinBantam

Go up to Oxford St and go to "Midnight Shift" you'll be fine .



and lads it's "treadmill" y'know as in tread gently my sweet love;)

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

tallaght01 wrote: »

The parks are still in the city!!! Have you ever breathed in Sydney city centre air???

Hmmm.... no. You may have a point there, but I can't imagine it being any worse than Dublin's...

tallus

Moral of the story:
the gym is bad for you

Black Swan

Who said... timing is everything? Once in awhile someone catches you off-guard, and you pay the price. Have a tall cool one and a laugh at yourself. It works for me.

Abi

Ohhhhh myyyyy goddddd, did you see that guy? He looked like he was about to die

Fuck them tbh. So what do you do from here, continue working out at the gym or let the bitches get to you?

arybvtcw0eolkf

Take comfort in knowing that, whilst you recovered and moved on, they'll always be Americans.

SimpleSam06

Anyone seeing another person pooped out and walking on a treadmill would of course come to the obvious conclusion that said person had just completed a gruelling workout that any meat-eating man would be proud of. So...

1. These geniuses didn't have the cognitive wherewithal to put two and two together, so you're better off without them, and

2. These geniuses didn't have the cognitive wherewithal to put two and two together, so you can have them any time you like! Just claim that you're Jack Nicholson on a break from making his latest batman movie and voila, orgies all round.

abitlonely

Mairt wrote: »

Take comfort in knowing that, whilst you recovered and moved on, they'll always be Americans.

Forget about them.

MIN2511

Moral of the story: YOU SUCK AT SCORING CHICKS!!!!:eek:


No matter the situation, you should always be READY;)


I hope they don't know you are Irish.... then they would think all the Irish fellas are that slow lazy

ronbyrne2005

You should have said in a snooty,pompous voice (a la fraisier) "i'm a DOCTOR don't you know!"

girl_friday

SimpleSam06 wrote: »

Anyone seeing another person pooped out and walking on a treadmill would of course come to the obvious conclusion that said person had just completed a gruelling workout that any meat-eating man would be proud of. So...

1. These geniuses didn't have the cognitive wherewithal to put two and two together, so you're better off without them

I agree completely! They obviously aren't used to working out or they would know that it is actually really important to 'warm down' as well as 'warm up' in order to prevent damage to muscles... Ignore them!! Who knows, if you're in there again they may be there and you can show them then!! Fair play to you for keeping to the regieme on holidays!! not sure i'd be so dedicated!! And having been to Sydney I think you are completely right not to exercise outside as the air is infinitely worse than in Dublin imo!!

Xavi6

I hope you at least cracked one out when you got back to your room. They were hot cheerleaders after all.

dr.bollocko

You should have grabbed one of them and rubbed their face in your armpit.
Women love the smell of armpits, and that old style chivalry thing.

arybvtcw0eolkf

dr.bollocko wrote: »

You should have grabbed one of them and rubbed their face in your armpit.
Women love the smell of armpits, and that old style chivalry thing.

Oh ye of little (or no experience of women)..

Women love the smell of money, the look of a good sparkler and the bang of a good micky.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Xavi6 wrote: »

I hope you at least cracked one out when you got back to your room. They were hot cheerleaders after all.

Rememeber, this is the man who did the 'gheyness' a week or two back...

Anto McC

I'd have got over myself and told myself to stop acting like a fool

dr.bollocko

Mairt wrote: »

Oh ye of little (or no experience of women)..

Women love the smell of money, the look of a good sparkler and the bang of a good micky.

Those women who love money will never love you.
And sparklers suck.

Fireworks for the win.

TequilaMockingBird

girl_friday wrote: »

I agree completely! They obviously aren't used to working out or they would know that it is actually really important to 'warm down' as well as 'warm up' in order to prevent damage to muscles... Ignore them!! Who knows, if you're in there again they may be there and you can show them then!! Fair play to you for keeping to the regieme on holidays!! not sure i'd be so dedicated!! And having been to Sydney I think you are completely right not to exercise outside as the air is infinitely worse than in Dublin imo!!

Mission accomplished OP, you clever dog... :pac:

Neamhshuntasach

It's probably a long term holiday since he changed his location to Australia. Who'd be sad enough to do that if it was only a 2 week trip.

them girls were idiots. they do know that people have to stop running at some time and chances are they'll be bollixed

tallaght01

Xavi6 wrote: »

I hope you at least cracked one out when you got back to your room. They were hot cheerleaders after all.

When I said I was lifting "weights", I off course meant I was holdin onto me mickey

Neamhshuntasach wrote: »

It's probably a long term holiday since he changed his location to Australia. Who'd be sad enough to do that if it was only a 2 week trip.

*Cough cough ahem* 4 days holiday it was *cough cough ahem cough*

Loopy

Dude, you really get into the funniest situations when your sweating:D

kaimera

pics?

of cheerleaders obviously -.-

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

tallaght01

Solitaryman666 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Absoloutely, yes.

MIN2511

tallaght01 wrote: »

Absoloutely, yes.

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:


Dont think so

castie

There yanks ofc he could of! Tell them your Pierce Brosnan and do you Bond impression