I wasn't invited to my friends 21st.

LegacyUser

This may sound like a trivial issue to everybody with real problems but I'm a little dismayed over this situation and would love some advice, I'm male by the way:

A few weeks ago a lad I went to school with had his twenty first, and I wasn't invited. I really thought for a few years that we were friends and literally every other lad from our year who isn't in America on the j1 was also there.

By the way, the birthday boy and I still hung around on a regular enough basis up until last year without us having a falling out or anything.

I understand it's up there with running out of milk for some people in terms of more important problems but hell, I'm really saddened by this whole thing. How the hell could NOBODY we both know tell me?

Victor

Are you sure it wasn't just a mistake.

I wasn't asked to a friends 21st (well, just the pub, not the house) - she assumed that I knew I was invited.

Miss Fluff

With Victor on that one, are you sure he didn't just presume you knew you were invited?

Chinafoot

Usernme wrote: »

By the way, the birthday boy and I still hung around on a regular enough basis up until last year without us having a falling out or anything.

It's August. When was the last time you hung out with him? Maybe he doesn't see you as a friend anymore. You don't need to have a falling out in order for a friendship to end. Maybe he just genuinely forgot you. If you havent hung out with him for over 7 months you may have slipped his mind.

Having mutual friends doesn't mean you'll get an invite.

[Jackass]

I have a few people I would consider friends that I wouldn't see for months at a time. I suppose 21st is the type of occasion you invite all the people you like to come and celebrate, not just your "mates". Nobody has 100+ friends, they're all the people from through the years they know catching up.

I think it's poor form not inviting you OP, but it could be a genuine mistake and he forgot about you. I know that wont make you feel any better, but at least it means he probably doesn't hate you.

So, you know...every cloud...

July

Victor wrote: »

Are you sure it wasn't just a mistake.

I wasn't asked to a friends 21st (well, just the pub, not the house) - she assumed that I knew I was invited.

+1

KrazeeEyezKilla

I'd believe it was a mistake except that if the OP hasn't seen the friend since last year so it wouldn't make sense to expect him to come without been told.

A similar thing happened to me a couple of years ago. I hadn't seen the person much in the last couple of years but he invited a load of people he barely knew. There was no excuse as other people in similar situations had invited me.

Chinafoot

KrazeeEyezKilla wrote: »

There was no excuse as other people in similar situations had invited me.

Tbh, people can invite whoever they like to their party and they don't need an excuse if they don't want to invite someone. If this "friend" hadn't seen you for ages why should he have to invite you? He doesn't have to invite anyone he doesn't want to.

OP, if you were that bothered about this guy do you not think you would have made an effort to hang out with him? Or are you just miffed that others were invited and you weren't?

faceman

Sounds like there is probably an simple explanation. Why not just ask your mate what the sp is on his party?

cuppa

i dont want to start any crap..but ,,as people said maybe he thought you would be there..or you might be a bit clingy or even may i say gay,,or he thinks u are gay ..just a thought ,,cos it might be the case..who knows.

soz just wondering .Have you had your twenty first yet ,,did you invite him ,,,or are your gona invite him when you have it.

castie

Id be leaning towards that maybe he just didnt think of you when he was doing his list or whatever.

iPlop

cuppa wrote: »

i dont want to start any crap..but ,,as people said maybe he thought you would be there..or you might be a bit clingy or even may i say gay,,or he thinks u are gay ..just a thought ,,cos it might be the case..who knows.

soz just wondering .Have you had your twenty first yet ,,did you invite him ,,,or are your gona invite him when you have it.

it all sound gay ,get on with your life.If your mates did't even tell you about his 21st then there's something not right:cool:

StormWarrior

Have you ever let him down in the past? Or maybe he just really doesn't consider you a friend after all this time, especially if he has tried to hang out with you but you could not meet up for whatever reason. I find it hard to believe he just forgot you. Either he assumed you knew you were invited or he didn't want you there.

If you have made excuses not to hang out with him before you can't really blame him. I had a friend who I had barely seen in a couple of years. He made a rubbish excuse not to come to my 21st or 22nd, I didn't see him for a whole year and then he was pissed off that I didn't invite him to my 23rd!

If the reason you haven't seen him in a year is because he keeps making excuses or doesn't bother to call, then maybe he just doesn't want to be your friend any more.

greatgoal

very strange none of your other mates didnt mention it,just ask him out straight.

Miss Fluff

cuppa wrote: »

i dont want to start any crap..but ,,as people said maybe he thought you would be there..or you might be a bit clingy or even may i say gay,,or he thinks u are gay ..just a thought ,,cos it might be the case..who knows.

soz just wondering .Have you had your twenty first yet ,,did you invite him ,,,or are your gona invite him when you have it.

How is a non-invite to a birthday party related to homosexuality?

LegacyUser

Hi, this is the OP, you'll have to forgive the poor structure of this post, I'm writing this on my phone. I actually bumped into the guy there about three weeks ago when I was working, and it was the third time I'd seen him since around christmas. And I'm not gay or particularly clingly to any of my friends, as far as I know.

Victor

cuppa wrote: »

i dont want to start any crap..but ,,as people said maybe he thought you would be there..or you might be a bit clingy or even may i say gay,,or he thinks u are gay ..just a thought ,,cos it might be the case..who knows.

soz just wondering .Have you had your twenty first yet ,,did you invite him ,,,or are your gona invite him when you have it.

On topic constructives posts only please. Banned for a week.

biko

Well OP, you're not gonna get the correct answer here, just guesses.
Make contact, ask the person, let us know.