ZZZZZZZZZZ

LegacyUser

Doesnt sound as romantic as the film by a long shot!

My OH snores. I dont mean just inhale and exhale loudly, I mean rattle the walls (and me) sort of snoring. Its even disturbing the housemates at this stage so i stay over in his.

He stops breathing as well between inhaling and exhaling and I lie there waiting for him toexhale and get freaked out 10 seconds later if he still hasnt and thump him over onto his side. I really do thump him as well sometimes! Hes a well built guy in a fit way but rolling him over isint dissicult as id say his ex has him used to it.

The thing is, Im only seeing him about 2 months...if that...and already I find my self saying no to spending the night with him, even though we just live down the road from each other, cos I know I wont get any sleep that night...or a very disjointed night at best.

This isint a deal breaker as I really like him, but does anyone have any cures for snoring? I wake up exhausted and as Im due back to work soon, I dont want to be going in shattered everyday. It may become a deal breaker in the future if I dont find a solution - but he was with his ex for 8 years (I think!) and if she didnt manage to find a solution, Im not hopeful. Either that or she was as deaf as a post!


Any ideas anyone? Do those strips work? He doesnt smoke and drinks very moderatley so those are out as causes...and tbh...its the non breathing between that freaks me out.

Thanks in advance for any help!

corcors

My OH is quite a snorer as well and I invest heavily in wax ear plugs - they really do the trick. I've only been living with him 3 months and I was getting seriously frustrated to the point where I was taking it out on him tired snor-eze and it was rubbish then someone told me wax ear plugs and I'm generally fine

sunshinegirl

isnt there suppose to be some type of ring that he can wear,saw it once on tv.Other than make him sleep on his side.

Sleepy

I'm the snorer in my relationship and have tried that 'Silence' stuff, always sleep on my side anyway etc. Haven't tried that ring but it sounds like a load of codswallop to me.

My suggestion - train yourself to ignore it. Either through simply spending long enough missing sleep that your body adjusts to it or something like hypnosis. Sounds a bit harsh I know but really there doesn't seem to be a cure for snoring...

Oryx

If he is getting proper sleep apnoea (stopping breathing) he ought to get checked by a doctor, as it can cause a few other issues.

Other than that Im not much help to you, having lived with a snorer for a very long time, the only cure with my oh is sleeping on his side. He is trained to roll over from a simple nudge at this stage, but the spare room sees use on bad nights.:) You could try earplugs, theyre good if youre not too much of a light sleeper.

Annie Bananie

Oryx wrote: »

If he is getting proper sleep apnoea (stopping breathing) he ought to get checked by a doctor, as it can cause a few other issues.

If does that, yes he needs to see a doctor. I would send him there.

Alicat

Oryx wrote: »

If he is getting proper sleep apnoea (stopping breathing) he ought to get checked by a doctor, as it can cause a few other issues.

My gran has that and snores exactly like the OP was describing her OH. Obviously my gran's an older lady but she now has to wear a snorkle thing every night so that she doesn't stop breathing completely!

Defo think the OH should see a doctor about it. Just to be sure.

Fad

Oryx wrote: »

If he is getting proper sleep apnoea (stopping breathing) he ought to get checked by a doctor, as it can cause a few other issues..

My dad has this, and he got this pump thing to wear when he sleeps, which forces air down your throat (obviously under medical advice!) and that stopped the snoring for a while like an eeirily quite house at night. But i think its meant to dry out your throat making you really uncomfortable, so he had to stop using it, and without it, snoring is back.

Overheal

ask your local pharmacy theyll be able to tell you whats available

trio

Could be sleep apnoea, with the stopping breathing in between part. That needs to be checked out by a GP as it can be dangerous.

There are other causes for excessive snoring though - is he a smoker? My OH snored like a train - sweet jesus it was HELL - but when he cut down on the fags it decreases a lot. He also has trained himself to sleep on his side, which is a great help.

Also, is he overweight? That increases snoring literally because of the weight on the windpipe.

Also of course, drink. That's a devil for the snoring.

I rely completely on earplugs. Whilst the poster above favours the wax ones, I prefer the soft foam ones. You should try out a few types as the difference in the different types is quite big, but most importantly you can pick them up anywhere.

milod

Snoring can be nasal or adenoidal. If it's nasal, try a Neti-Pot (google it - basically involves rinsing your sinuses with salt water - worked for me!).

If it's adenoidal (throat) then snorting back some of that saline solution from the neti pot can also help (shrinks the adenoids).

If his shirt collar size is 17 or over, snoring will always be a problem. Laser treatment can help though - they burn away some of the loose flesh at the back of the nose/throat that rattles and makes you snore... not nice but effective apparently.

Aurora Borealis

Earplugs as an interim measure anyway and if you do go the distance in this relatioship maybe he could discuss treatments with his GP. I've had partners who ground their teeth very badly, especially when stressed. I think when you're sleeping beside someone and in rhythm with them over time the disruption to your sleep can lessen. Mine did but I know I've heard of plenty where it didn't.

Fingers crossed it does you.

TheMelodyOfRain

A definite case of sleep apnea if he stops breathing. In fact, I'm going to my GP tomorrow to get a referral to a sleep specialist, as I have it too - although I dont snore, just wake up about 10 times during the night gasping for air. Seriously, tell him to get it check as soon as possible, I only found out recently that its been the cause of my 'depression'. Not everyone who snores has apnea, but anyone who stops breathing during their sleep does.

Ginny

Oh God you sound like my Exs poor new girlfriend, yes it does sound like sleep aponea, tbh get him to see a specialist, loose some weight.
If it is sleep aponea it doesn't sound like its a severe enough case for the Oxygen mask treatment.
With my ex there was nothing the Docs could do so I eventually I just got used to it, I found if I went asleep before him I was ok, but if I tried after he went to bed obviously it was a nightmare.
In all honestly I never really got a deep sleep while with him, and my body clock is just getting sorted now.
Thankfully I now have a nice snore free bedroom..:D
Have you asked him how his ex coped?

BraziliaNZ

seriously how on EARTH can women put up with these guys who do it? I've nearly attacked strangers in hostels because of this. Just refuse to sleep with him till he gets it sorted, there is nothing worse than snorers and being kept up all night, and the c*nts never realise how much of a nightmare they are for other people. I think you can get some kind of surgery to sort it out, get him to a doctor pronto or refuse to stay over.

eveie

it sounds to me that your oh has a thing called sleep apneia.....this is when the person stops breathing, the brain has to wake up in order to start breathing again, this happens about 200-400 times a night and can leave the person suffering for sever tirdness during the day
i suffer from this, i dont snore every night but on occassions i do.
usually slep apniea occurs in bigger people, weather they be fat or just larger built, also can be increased if the person is a smoker.
there is no known cure for this disorder, it has been linked to mild brain damage over very long periods of time because the brain in starved from oxygen......however do not panic, it is said the one brain cell is lost every time it happens, this research may not be precise.
my ex was also terrifed when i stopped breathing but its never the case that someone will die from it, they do not no the real causes.
there are sleep clinics which can help inprove the situation but thier very expensive
it is possibly the fact that your oh snores that is making it move obvious when he stops breathing. i would suggest trying a few things to help prevent the snoring and then hopefully it wont impact on your sleep so much
best of luck

whippet

eveie wrote: »

it sounds to me that your oh has a thing called sleep apneia.....this is when the person stops breathing, the brain has to wake up in order to start breathing again, this happens about 200-400 times a night and can leave the person suffering for sever tirdness during the day
i suffer from this, i dont snore every night but on occassions i do.
usually slep apniea occurs in bigger people, weather they be fat or just larger built, also can be increased if the person is a smoker.
there is no known cure for this disorder, it has been linked to mild brain damage over very long periods of time because the brain in starved from oxygen......however do not panic, it is said the one brain cell is lost every time it happens, this research may not be precise.
my ex was also terrifed when i stopped breathing but its never the case that someone will die from it, they do not no the real causes.
there are sleep clinics which can help inprove the situation but thier very expensive
it is possibly the fact that your oh snores that is making it move obvious when he stops breathing. i would suggest trying a few things to help prevent the snoring and then hopefully it wont impact on your sleep so much
best of luck

Eveie, while you have mentioned some fact, you have mentioned a lot of rubbish regarding OSA (obstructive sleep apnoea) aswell.

I was diagnosed with OSA about 3 years ago, it has to be diagnosed in a proper sleep clinic (see www.isat.ie for more details).

Personally I was slightly over weight, but even when I was younger and much fitter I was suffering in ignorance. After getting over some sports injuries I am back to a very healthy athletic shape and the symptoms are still there.

Sleep arena has many causes and affects all patients in more or less the same way, it is where your body restricts itself of oxygen at night, due to closing of the airways (excess tissues around the neck is the most common). The snoring is where you are in effect gasping for breath and eventually you stop breathing (this is the Apnoea) lie silent for a few seconds and eventually you will let out a huge snore which is the gasp for breath. Your mind might be asleep but you heart is working over time and blood pressure will rise over the course of the night. After each apnoea your body wakes itself to take in the oxygen.

Sufferers will find they are tired during the day (for obvious reasons), excessive sweating during the night, the need to urinate during the night and the uncanny ability to fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

The most common treatment is by way of a Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) device which uses a constant stream of controlled air to stent the airways and allow the patient to sleep normally. The use of the machine takes abit of getting used to, but almost instantly the symptoms of OSA are alleviated.

Only a specialist Sleep consultant can diagnose and treat the condition, as it will require sleep studies of the patient to find the correct pressure for the CPAP amongst other things. Early detection can help avoid heart conditions and diabetes in later years.

My advise is, have a look at web based resources, if you feel what you are reading strikes a cord, speak with your GP and request having the tests done. In most cases it is the patients partner who instigates the treatment after long nights of suffering.

After years of trying nasal rings, sprays, rings on my little finger, nasal straps etc … only a visit to the GP made any sense!!

marylou82

Oh God i am totally sympathetic with the OP. My BF snores so much I'm sure he wakes the neighbours. When we first went out it didnt seem to be a problem( or maybe I didnt notice so much) but lately, after 2 years it got to a point that we sleep in seperate rooms. Sounds weird but works for us. He works nights and I work days mostly so this works for us midweek. At the weekend we share the bed, as I amnot too worried about getting asleep/ getting up for work.

I wanted to try earplugs but am so afraid it will block out the sound of my alarm!

Tupins

OP I feel your pain. My husband snores and when we first started going out it was literally a nightmare. There is nothing worse than sleep deprivation - it's torture!

the only thing I can say to you (and others used to say it to me but I didn't believe them!) is that you will eventually get used to it and sleep through it. You unfortunately have to go through months of it first though.

If he doesn't have sleep apnoea and is just a bad snorer then I would suggest wearing ear plugs only when it gets unbearable and also try to go to sleep before he does (easier said than done I know) and hopefully you'll eventually be able to sleep through it!

Good luck.

Sleepy

It's not as easy to sort as one might imagine...

Save the hostility.

eveie

whippet
i didnt say in all cases it happens with over weight people, i said usually and that is a fact, please do not mis-qoute me. also new research has found a link between the loss of brain cell and this disorder again a fact.
i dont no of any sleep clinics that arent proper??????
i am not trying to diagnose the op's oh here i am simply just giving some facts.
you dont have to go to a sleep clinic to get this sorted out, many gps will advise you of different ways to help the condition.
it must be stated here that it is not a life threating disorder and should not be made out to be.
whippet you explain the didorder very well in your post, however i would appreicate if you didnt tell me im talking rubbish when i know im not, why would i give out false information?? thanks

corcors

marylou82 wrote: »

Oh God i am totally sympathetic with the OP. My BF snores so much I'm sure he wakes the neighbours. When we first went out it didnt seem to be a problem( or maybe I didnt notice so much) but lately, after 2 years it got to a point that we sleep in seperate rooms. Sounds weird but works for us. He works nights and I work days mostly so this works for us midweek. At the weekend we share the bed, as I amnot too worried about getting asleep/ getting up for work.

I wanted to try earplugs but am so afraid it will block out the sound of my alarm!

I still hear my alarm it just take a little while longer by which stage he's normally heard it before and woken me up

The odd time I've gone into the other room but we don't have a spare room so its only when my housemate is away that I can do that. I don't think thats a huge deal. Esp if you work such different hours

peanut66

My bf snores like a truck, i even recorded him on my mobile one nite so i could play it back to him so he would know i wasnt exagerating.

He got that silence stuff and it seems to work, it doesnt completely stop it 100% but hes a lot quieter and I dont have to beat him up in the middle of the nite anymore when im about to lose my mind from lack of sleep.

When he uses that, I fond myself drifting off to sleep without much bother. I find im much less cranky now

garylarson

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

seriously how on EARTH can women put up with these guys who do it? I've nearly attacked strangers in hostels because of this. Just refuse to sleep with him till he gets it sorted, there is nothing worse than snorers and being kept up all night, and the c*nts never realise how much of a nightmare they are for other people. I think you can get some kind of surgery to sort it out, get him to a doctor pronto or refuse to stay over.

What are you on about? Do you think men are the only culprits? I am a chronic snorer, have had my adenoids removed, am not overweight don't smoke and only drink occasionaly, yet snore like a train no matter what position I sleep in, It's a massive deal to me because I know exactly what is happening, I'm depriving others of sleep, this has led to me avoiding festivals and getting seperate rooms when on holidays, My OH took a while to get used to it, tried the sprays the strips the drops the ring and nothing worked, he got ear plugs and thankfully within six months had accustomed himself to the sitch so doesn't have to wear them anymore

Anything that takes the night's sleep off ya is infuriating but don't you come with that bs about refusing to stay over, just makes you seem like a p to the rick

pookie82

I sympathise with all on here who have to sleep with snorers. My boyfriend is a chronic snorer, and has gotten a lot worse lately. Often I find if i can go to bed before him i'll be fine, but lately I seem to wake up when he comes to bed and as soon as he falls asleep that's it, I'm trapped listening to his infuriating gargling, spluttering and snoring for hours. it gets so bad at times that I literally thump him adn as the hours go on I feel really violent, like whacking his head off. He's too big for me to physically push him over on his side so I have to wake him to get him to do so but that takes ages too and rarely helps. It's left me in a horrible mood the next day and really resentful towards him. He can't seem to understand how horrible it is to have to sleep next to that and often laughs when i complain the next day!!! Just last night I lay awake from three until five listening to the night music beside me. I was always afraid that ear plugs would prevent me hearing my alarm but I think I'll give them a go.

That and I'm making him give up the smokes!