unrequited(?) love

LegacyUser

...this guy I really really like him, I m pretty sure I love him, I don't know what to do because I know he likes me, i know he cares for me ...
stuff happened, we talked and he said he really likes me but he doesn't want a relationship (to me this means i don't love you and that just hurts) and i know he means it that he likes me, and i also know that he didn't do anything trying to hurt me

I ve been trying to think of him as my friend, but i just cant, i keep dreaming that he will suddenly realize that he s crazy to let me go and come to me .. i m so pathetic... reading this my advice to myself would be don't see him for a long while, this is not possible at least not for now, however this hurts and I don't know how to stop it

I m sorry if i m scarce in the details, this is not easy for me, however its driving me insane

Liam Byrne

Bear in mind two things:

1) It's human nature to want what we can't have more than something we can, so therefore what you feel is stronger than it should be "normally"

2) Why waste time on a one-sided thing ? Once you experience a two-way thing where what you feel is reciprocated, then it'll grow and you'll wonder what the fuss was about with a one-sided thing

The above are true; it mightn't feel like it at the moment, but they are.

Are you 100% certain that there's no chance for you two ? If there's any chance, then go for it to see how it turns out.

But if there's none, then try to focus on the above two points and go find someone who loves you enough to give it a go.....

Overheal

If you cant think of him as your friend, and he won't be your lover, then you can't do much outside of cutting your contact from him.

abitlonely

Overheal wrote: »

you can't do much outside of cutting your contact from him.

That's a bit severe imo.

HouseHippo

Its kind of hard to help if you are being so scarce but i think maybe you should not be around this guy for a while. Seeing him will only increase your feelings for him.Possibly busy yourself in something else, get a hobby, start a new project just to take your mind off him. Thats the best I can do with such little information Sorry. Hope everything works out for you.

suckslikeafox

IFeelVeryStupid wrote: »

we talked and he said he really likes me but he doesn't want a relationship

To me this would translate as he was just in it for the physical part, I know it sucks but ya just gotta move on. It'll take time (I know, im trying to do the same myself at the moment). Dont want to sound harsh, but it happens and theres not much you can do except live life as normal

Latchy

He might just not be ready to be in love with anybody at this time OP .Taken the friendship route is your best option .At least that way you give him and you some space and maybe over a period of time his feelings for you might change .

LegacyUser

for a start I find it hard to think of him as my friend right now however i do care for him and i want to be there for him I think given enough time i might be able to get over it

also we have a great time when we are together, we can make each other laugh .. honestly I dont think I ve ever felt so comfortable with anyone else, we spent several days together in different occasions and I never got that uneasy feeling that you get when you hang out with someone for too long


i m not 100% sure there is not a chance for us at all but I am the one thats writing this thread, and i dont want to keep thinking what if? because it drives me insane. I had dreams about this and i wake up really sad because i know they are not true and all i want is that he would wake up next to me

Carsinian Thau

The best way to get over a situation like this is distance. The less you see him the less it will hurt and the quicker you'll be able to get over it.

Don't ignore him completely and don't cut all contact (unless it seems like the only way to break the tie).

It can be very hard to to come to terms with something like this (believe me, I know) but in time you will get better.

Just try and protect yourself right now. With some time and space, everything will become easier to deal with.

jellie

IFeelVeryStupid wrote: »

for a start I find it hard to think of him as my friend right now however i do care for him and i want to be there for him I think given enough time i might be able to get over it

also we have a great time when we are together, we can make each other laugh .. honestly I dont think I ve ever felt so comfortable with anyone else, we spent several days together in different occasions and I never got that uneasy feeling that you get when you hang out with someone for too long


i m not 100% sure there is not a chance for us at all but I am the one thats writing this thread, and i dont want to keep thinking what if? because it drives me insane. I had dreams about this and i wake up really sad because i know they are not true and all i want is that he would wake up next to me

I dont mean to be harsh, but he has told you he doesnt want a relationship & you seem to be clinging to what ifs.

you need to give yourself some space away from him. if what you have with him is that special he will miss you. if its not, then youll have some time to yourself to get over him. if you keep hoping he'll change his mind you might just end up getting hurt more.

if its meant to be it will happen.. (thats the way im thinking lately anyway..)

Karen_*

Op you have to sever ties with him and let the pain go away itself. It doesn't sound like there's a chance for you two and your feelings aren't going to go away. Its horrible not being loved back. But you can love yourself and walk away.

kittensoft1984

sar84 wrote: »

I dont mean to be harsh, but he has told you he doesnt want a relationship & you seem to be clinging to what ifs.

you need to give yourself some space away from him. if what you have with him is that special he will miss you. if its not, then youll have some time to yourself to get over him. if you keep hoping he'll change his mind you might just end up getting hurt more.

if its meant to be it will happen.. (thats the way im thinking lately anyway..)

This sounds harsh but it is true.

I was in your postion a while ago (and still am to a certain extent)

It is the hardest thing in the world to know that the person you love doesnt love you back. You need time to get over him....and you wont do this if you keep in contact with him.

For your own good cut contact for a while at least. It doesnt have to be forever but you need time to get over him and find your own feet.

Dont cling to the what ifs....he quite clearly doesnt feel the same as you do and may never do but you cannot put your life on hold for this guy

Hope this helps a little

Kitten

Burial

IFeelVeryStupid wrote:

...this guy I really really like him, I m pretty sure I love him, I don't know what to do because I know he likes me, i know he cares for me ...
stuff happened, we talked and he said he really likes me but he doesn't want a relationship (to me this means i don't love you and that just hurts) and i know he means it that he likes me, and i also know that he didn't do anything trying to hurt me

I ve been trying to think of him as my friend, but i just cant, i keep dreaming that he will suddenly realize that he s crazy to let me go and come to me .. i m so pathetic... reading this my advice to myself would be don't see him for a long while, this is not possible at least not for now, however this hurts and I don't know how to stop it

I m sorry if i m scarce in the details, this is not easy for me, however its driving me insane

Get away from this guy. It'd hurt like hell, but why waste your time on a guy who doesn't love you? Maybe stop having any physical relationship with him. I mean if you didn't love someone, you wouldn't stay in the relationship, now would you? He's just using you as his "sex buddy". You clearly don't want that, so gtfo.

Dragan

abitlonely wrote: »

That's a bit severe imo.

Why? If she is miserable knowing him but cannot have him in the capacity she would like she needs to move on however she can.