Should I go for it?

LegacyUser

Over the past few months I've been hanging out with a girl who I've known for years. There's always been a mutual attraction there despite us being very different, or maybe because of that.

Anyway, last month we ended up getting it on. She came back to my place and it was an amazing night but it's left me with a dilemma.

I would really like to persue things with her and am reasonably sure she feels the same way, but I'm still unsure what to do. I've been a bit crap with relationships in the past, mostly due to my own insecurities but I think I've dealt with those issues, but still, it's a fear.

I've been single for over a year now so this is a big deal for me. I've seen so many threads on this forum about people in their mid-thirties finding all their friends settled and them stuck with the headache of the pub scene, or the online dating minefield but I'm scared about what will happen next.

Some people won't be too thrilled about it if we were to get together, including people who are quite close to both of us. It's quite a gamble initiating a relationship with anyone, let alone someone who is in your circle of friends.

Argh! Advice is appreciated!

RedXIV

First and foremost, you need to address your issues of fear when it comes to relationships. Seriously, this is only a tripwire in the future if you don't. Telling this girl may be endearing to her, because it shows you do want to commit and you are serious about your intentions. on the same token, it might end up being a move that reinforces any doubts she has. Only you know how she'll take it.

Also, circles of friends in every place all over the world get involved in the relationship game at some stage. It's natural when your that comfortable with someone that your relationship could take that extra step further.

Finally, don't start this relationship if all your thinking about is being alone at 30. then you're lying to her and yourself. you don't enter a relationship out of fear, you enter through affection.

I'd support you taking the step and making this happen.

Red

trio

Why wouldn't your friends be too thrilled? I'm curious about that part.

_blank_

Only reading the Thread Title, my answer is "Yes, go for it".

HalloweenJack

I second everything RedXIV has said.

Imo, you shouldn't worry too much what you're friends think about it. If the two of you are happy about it, that's all that matters.

And, if your friends are going to get upset with the both of you because yez get together, than they aren't really supportive friends.

Miss Fluff

UnregDoubtful wrote: »

Anyway, last month we ended up getting it on. She came back to my place and it was an amazing night but it's left me with a dilemma.

I would really like to persue things with her and am reasonably sure she feels the same way, but I'm still unsure what to do.

Ah come on now OP! You owe it to yourself and to her to give it a chance.

I'm a little bit of a commitment phobe myself but the best thing you can do is just to take it really slow but don't be afraid to throw yourself into it either.

If you don't do this, then chances are at some stage further down the line she will get together with someone else? How will you feel then knowing that you could have made a go of things with her but didn't because of your own fears?

Pick up the phone and ask to meet up for a few drinks and ffs ignore what you're "friends" think. People that matter don't mind, people that mind don't matter. Anyone who cares about both of you will be delighted and thrilled if you make each other happy. GO FOR IT!!!:)

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies guys! I really do want to go for it!

RedXIV, I'm not thinking of going for it just because I'm afraid of being alone at 30. I guess my point was, I'd be mad to let the chance pass me by.

trio, I can't go into too much detail as it would give me away, but one close friend of mine will be very put out about this. It will make her quite uncomfortable. I don't think she's right, but all the same it's not as simple as much saying "well, too bad".

I'm going to have to give her a call and arrange to meet up and take things from there.

RedXIV

UnregDoubtful wrote: »

Thanks for the replies guys! I really do want to go for it!

RedXIV, I'm not thinking of going for it just because I'm afraid of being alone at 30. I guess my point was, I'd be mad to let the chance pass me by.

trio, I can't go into too much detail as it would give me away, but one close friend of mine will be very put out about this. It will make her quite uncomfortable. I don't think she's right, but all the same it's not as simple as much saying "well, too bad".

I'm going to have to give her a call and arrange to meet up and take things from there.

You now know your answer best of luck

Marksie

Life is about taking chances. Not about looking back and saying i wonder what would have happened if!

Go for it.
Don't worry about your past realtionships they're gone.
Learn from where you went wrong in those and dont do it in this one!

All the best

thebaldsoprano

Aw man, go for it!

tinkletoes

Go for it:)

Hollaballoo

Friends can sometimes have problems about new relationships for whatever reasons, but I think when they see that ye are serious it changes a lot of people's perspectives. Don't worry about them, they will come around if they want to see you happy.