A great piece written by a Meathman about hurling....

TirEoghain

Not sure if this has done the rounds before, but I thought it was excellent..


"Coming from Meath, I don't know much about any sport other than football. I've seen handball once. I've heard there's a game called 'rounders' and I'm even told that there's a women's version of gaelic football, where they're allowed to pick the ball off the ground and a point is worth three goals. But all I knew, until recently, about the other sport administered by the GAA was that it involves the use of weapons and that only Kilkenny, Tipperary and Cork are allowed to play it. (For the information of football people, Kilkenny, apparently, is a county in Leinster).

I've never met people from Kilkenny or Tipperary because those places are very far in off the main roads, so the only hurling fans I've ever met were from Cork. (I can understand why Cork people follow hurling, because I've seen their football teams). Anyway, these people told me without being asked) that hurling is "de fastest field game in de world (boy)" and "de most skilful sport of 'em all (like)". So I decided that I should plug this gap in my education and rented a few tapes of big matches to try and figure out how hurling works. I was immediately surprised to find out that, unlike most field games, hurling doesn't involve the use of a ball. Look as closely as you like at any game of hurling and you'll see no ball. At first, I thought the ball must be too small and travelling at too great a speed to be visible to the naked, non-Corkonian, Kilkennian or Tipperarian eye. But I quickly realised that hurling is, in fact, a stick-breaking competition, in which the object of the game is to break your weapon, a thick ash stick, either against your opponent's stick (like the reverse of the principle of conkers) or, failing that, against his limbs, torso, head etc.

While the weapon remains unbroken, it is used to weaken the opponent's resistance and thus make it easier to chase him down and improve your chances of a successful break. The stick is called a hurley and there are three parts to it - the warhead, which is the heavy end of the weapon, usually reinforced with steel bands. It is used for cudgelling, bludgeoning and inflicting contusions, concussion and localised damage to the head and body of the opponent; - the blade this is the sharpened, curved part of the device, just above the warhead area, which is effective in slicing through fleshy tissue and in routine amputation applications; - the butt, which is the stabbing end of the apparatus, used for tenderising the opponent's rib cartilage. The only protective equipment used is the helmet. Helmets come in a variety of styles. Many players wear knee-pads tied to the tops of their heads, some stick their heads up through the bottom of a canary-cage and one lad from Cork wears a deep-fat fryer. The headgear also comes in various colours because, apparently, no two players on any team are allowed to wear the same colour.

The game starts with two players from each side standing, fully armed, in the middle of the field. On a signal from the referee, they start to beat each other about the ankles with their sticks until the referee blows a whistle. When he blows it again, other sets of combatants lay into each other, trying to break their sticks, either overhead against their opponent's weapon in a sort of aerial fencing (known as "the clash of the ash") or on the opponent himself (the gash of the ash). When a player succeeds in breaking his stick - a smash of the ash - a huge roar goes up from the crowd, the player waves his broken stick above his head in triumph and immediately he is thrown a replacement weapon from a store that is kept on the sideline (the stash of the ash). The crowd roars at other random occasions also, in what appears to be a side competition between the two sets of supporters, because when they roar, a man in a white coat holds up a white flag, in the manner of an umpire in football. If the roar is really loud, he waves a green flag.

If a player manages to strike his opponent on the hand or in the stomach area, this is known as a "dirty pull" and is one of the principal skills of the game. The only form of violence not permitted is pushing an opponent in the back and referees deal mercilessly with offenders against this rule. On the other hand, crippling, mangling, maiming and disembowelling and all other forms of "lash with the ash" are quite in order. The contest continues until there are no spare sticks left and the referee declares a winner, presumably based on a combination of broken stick count and number of casualties which, considering the weaponry deployed and the ferocity of the conflict is usually remarkably few. As a result of this preliminary research, I came to a few obvious conclusions: Kilkenny must be disarmed - by force if necessary; weapons inspectors must be given access to Cork and Tipperary and there is finally an explanation for the fact that the Romans never came to Ireland.

I discovered also that only teachers, students and policemen play the game. This makes sense, everybody else has work to go to. One final mystery remains: where are the Gardai when all this is going on? When will the blue lights flash on the clash of the ash?"

bill_ashmount

Football is a game for bad hurlers....................

irish_bob

TirEoghain wrote: »

Not sure if this has done the rounds before, but I thought it was excellent..


"Coming from Meath, I don't know much about any sport other than football. I've seen handball once. I've heard there's a game called 'rounders' and I'm even told that there's a women's version of gaelic football, where they're allowed to pick the ball off the ground and a point is worth three goals. But all I knew, until recently, about the other sport administered by the GAA was that it involves the use of weapons and that only Kilkenny, Tipperary and Cork are allowed to play it. (For the information of football people, Kilkenny, apparently, is a county in Leinster).

I've never met people from Kilkenny or Tipperary because those places are very far in off the main roads, so the only hurling fans I've ever met were from Cork. (I can understand why Cork people follow hurling, because I've seen their football teams). Anyway, these people told me without being asked) that hurling is "de fastest field game in de world (boy)" and "de most skilful sport of 'em all (like)". So I decided that I should plug this gap in my education and rented a few tapes of big matches to try and figure out how hurling works. I was immediately surprised to find out that, unlike most field games, hurling doesn't involve the use of a ball. Look as closely as you like at any game of hurling and you'll see no ball. At first, I thought the ball must be too small and travelling at too great a speed to be visible to the naked, non-Corkonian, Kilkennian or Tipperarian eye. But I quickly realised that hurling is, in fact, a stick-breaking competition, in which the object of the game is to break your weapon, a thick ash stick, either against your opponent's stick (like the reverse of the principle of conkers) or, failing that, against his limbs, torso, head etc.

While the weapon remains unbroken, it is used to weaken the opponent's resistance and thus make it easier to chase him down and improve your chances of a successful break. The stick is called a hurley and there are three parts to it - the warhead, which is the heavy end of the weapon, usually reinforced with steel bands. It is used for cudgelling, bludgeoning and inflicting contusions, concussion and localised damage to the head and body of the opponent; - the blade this is the sharpened, curved part of the device, just above the warhead area, which is effective in slicing through fleshy tissue and in routine amputation applications; - the butt, which is the stabbing end of the apparatus, used for tenderising the opponent's rib cartilage. The only protective equipment used is the helmet. Helmets come in a variety of styles. Many players wear knee-pads tied to the tops of their heads, some stick their heads up through the bottom of a canary-cage and one lad from Cork wears a deep-fat fryer. The headgear also comes in various colours because, apparently, no two players on any team are allowed to wear the same colour.

The game starts with two players from each side standing, fully armed, in the middle of the field. On a signal from the referee, they start to beat each other about the ankles with their sticks until the referee blows a whistle. When he blows it again, other sets of combatants lay into each other, trying to break their sticks, either overhead against their opponent's weapon in a sort of aerial fencing (known as "the clash of the ash") or on the opponent himself (the gash of the ash). When a player succeeds in breaking his stick - a smash of the ash - a huge roar goes up from the crowd, the player waves his broken stick above his head in triumph and immediately he is thrown a replacement weapon from a store that is kept on the sideline (the stash of the ash). The crowd roars at other random occasions also, in what appears to be a side competition between the two sets of supporters, because when they roar, a man in a white coat holds up a white flag, in the manner of an umpire in football. If the roar is really loud, he waves a green flag.

If a player manages to strike his opponent on the hand or in the stomach area, this is known as a "dirty pull" and is one of the principal skills of the game. The only form of violence not permitted is pushing an opponent in the back and referees deal mercilessly with offenders against this rule. On the other hand, crippling, mangling, maiming and disembowelling and all other forms of "lash with the ash" are quite in order. The contest continues until there are no spare sticks left and the referee declares a winner, presumably based on a combination of broken stick count and number of casualties which, considering the weaponry deployed and the ferocity of the conflict is usually remarkably few. As a result of this preliminary research, I came to a few obvious conclusions: Kilkenny must be disarmed - by force if necessary; weapons inspectors must be given access to Cork and Tipperary and there is finally an explanation for the fact that the Romans never came to Ireland.

I discovered also that only teachers, students and policemen play the game. This makes sense, everybody else has work to go to. One final mystery remains: where are the Gardai when all this is going on? When will the blue lights flash on the clash of the ash?"

excellent post

ive always found hurling to be farcical in that the ball is so small and moves so fast from one end of the field to the other , you cant keep track
maybe its ok when seeing it live but ive only ever seen hurling on tv

CyberDave

Considering a Meathmans attitude on the football field. God help us all if Meath were to employ this style of play on the hurling field.

Yavvy

Excellent... I was waiting for clarification on this. I see Dublin is joining the arms race recently. Much like a Pakistan in nuclear terms... Meath would be still at Iranian levels while Kerry are very much San Marino..

Zzippy

irish_bob wrote: »

excellent post

ive always found hurling to be farcical in that the ball is so small and moves so fast from one end of the field to the other , you cant keep track
maybe its ok when seeing it live but ive only ever seen hurling on tv

Farcical? Jeez, its only one of the greatest sports in the world! Maybe its because I played it, but I've no problem keeping track of the ball, even on tv. Or maybe you should go to specsavers! :P

On topic, great post! Going to have to send that to a few friends...

DDC1990

Alany wrote: »

Excellent... I was waiting for clarification on this. I see Dublin is joining the arms race recently. Much like a Pakistan in nuclear terms... Meath would be still at Iranian levels while Kerry are very much San Marino..

Excuse us, but Kerry infact hammered Meath this year 7-10 to 4-13. San Marino must have some weapons to catch up with Iran!:eek:

Yavvy

I stand corrected... scratch my last comment and reverse it.

Nalced_irl

ah bob, its anything but farcical. Its an incredible game. I have never had a problem following it on TV or live...and my eyesight is sh*t!!

Tristram

I was recently trying to explain hurling to a group of Canadians and showed 'em a video from youtube as a visual aid. Their reaction was priceless. The OP captures their basic impression

Orizio

Funny stuff.

Seriously though, is hurling really that alien to people up the country?

irish_bob

what does it matter if i find hurling somewhat farcical , its only one opinion , the same as its only an opinion when one of the posters in here stated its only the greatest game in the world
besides i like hurling folk , the same cant be said for how i feel about rugby follk

Nalced_irl

irish_bob wrote: »

what does it matter if i find hurling somewhat farcical , its only one opinion , the same as its only an opinion when one of the posters in here stated its only the greatest game in the world
besides i like hurling folk , the same cant be said for how i feel about rugby follk

It doesnt matter. Your fully entitled to your opinion, even if it is wrong Only joking of course. I know plenty of people who have no time at all for hurling. Some people love it, some dont, thats the way the world spins

I dont mind the normal rugby fan, but i dont like the D4, "My car is bigger than yours", Roish? kinda fan. The older generation of Rugby fan are grand, just the younger ones that get my goat!

premierstone

Nalced_irl wrote: »

I dont mind the normal rugby fan, but i dont like the D4, "My car is bigger than yours", Roish? kinda fan. The older generation of Rugby fan are grand, just the younger ones that get my goat!

Ah you see Nalced you want to get yourself down to Munster thats where the real Rugby fans are - common as muck we are

Nalced_irl

premierstone wrote: »

Ah you see Nalced you want to get yourself down to Munster thats where the real Rugby fans are - common as muck we are

Hehe, i have been many times. Sure im a secret Munster fan really, dont tell anyone tho

premierstone

Nalced_irl wrote: »

Hehe, i have been many times. Sure im a secret Munster fan really, dont tell anyone tho

Dont worry as our sci-fi friends would say ''your not alone''

thirdmantackle

There's a lot of hurling played in Meath

just not to a high enough standard

i would always have ranked them above Carlow, Westmeath, Kerry, Mayo, Roscommon, Kildare, Wicklow - to name a few