Will Work take over??

HouseHippo

Ive been with my bf 5 years and till now everything has been great.
He is 20 and just got a new job but its already starting to take over.

The thing is it has him working thursday friday saturday and Sunday night and sometimes during the day and other nights in the week.On his days off people are always ringing and texting him. Im getting worried I wont be able to cope.

I dont have any other friends really and I am already starting to get very lonely.Also he cheated once in the past whcih has made me a little paranoid and this defo gives him oppertunity. Will our relationship survive?

Firetrap

A couple of things are ringing alarm bells with me

1. What sort of job does he have that's leading him to work hours like that? Is it shift work or is he working every hour of the day and night?

2. He's cheated on you already.

3. You don't have any other friends really other than him.

I don't know if your relationship will survive but you need to start looking out for yourself. I hope you didn't ditch your friends because you fell for this guy - a classic mistake. Get a life for yourself outside of this relationship. Take up a new hobby that'll take you out of the house, join a club, get back in touch with your old friends. I'm getting the impression that you're a bit wrapped up in this guy.

HouseHippo

No my old friends all stabbed me in the back and ruined my life I even had to get a restraining order on one of them since then im pretty alienated in school and stuff but im starting college soon so...

He is a sound engineer in a venue

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Two things:

Firstly, the loneliness seems to stem from your lack of social contacts, rather than his absense. When he's not around, you notice it more because there aren;t any girlfirends you can ring for a night out.

Because he cheated before is no guarantee he's cheating now. I don;t know much about the job, but the hours sound consistant with what he's being asked to work. I'm not saying he isn't cheating, but don't assume he is. If you do, the relaitionship is over, regarless of whether he is or not.

Adivce? Get more social contacts. You'll get a much better view of the situation once you do.

Piste

Ikky Poo2 is right there, you need to make more friends, it's really really REALLY unhealthy to rely on just one person for social interaction , it inevitably ends in jealousy and sadness. Are there any friends at al, even ones you're not at all close with, that you could contact even for coffee one day? You'd be surprised how receptive people can be to others making contact!

HouseHippo

no none. Well a few but they live in Monaghan and I ahvent the money to get out there. And my other mate is always with his gf. I try to make friends its just im very shy. I dont think he is cheating but It does give him oppertunity

Piste

Could you ask your friend that is always with his girlfriend to maybe make some time for you, or alternatively organise double dates where there'd be an opportunity for you to meet someone new too?

HouseHippo

I could try. I dont really get on with his gf and he knows that. I dont get on with other girls really i dont know why.I try to amke friends with people but they dont seem bothered

Firetrap

Are there any clubs or suchlike that you can get involved with in your area? It'd do you a world of good to take up a new hobby or do voluntary work? It would also help your relationship if you had outside interests.

I see too that you'll be starting college this year. That's an ideal opportunity for you to broaden your horizons. Join things, meet people. Don't be shy. I used to be shy when I was your age but when I started university I had to force myself to talk to people. Just random people I was sitting beside in lectures, people in the queue in the canteen. Some of these people are still my friends 15 years later.

Piste

Oh if you're starting college then get involved in a load of clubs/socs, there's bound to be a few that interest you and you'll have something comon to talk about with other people who might feel a bit daunted by being alone too!

Pen1987

here works in a venue doing sound. Would you not go to see him in work? Its not exactly that taxing once you get the setting up sorted all youre doing is slight adjustments for the rest of the set...

HouseHippo

I do come down alot im a dj part time he is training me in gives me the odd gig and such

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

HouseHippo wrote: »

I do come down alot im a dj part time he is training me in gives me the odd gig and such

Aha... I seriously doubt he'd be doign this if he was planning an affair. If that was the case, he'd want you as far away from work as possible.

I see sunlight, people, I see sunlight!!!!

dilallio

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Aha... I seriously doubt he'd be doign this if he was planning an affair. If that was the case, he'd want you as far away from work as possible.

I see sunlight, people, I see sunlight!!!!

+1

Keep up with the dj work - It's a great way of meeting new people and expanding your social network. He sounds like a supportive partner and you should likewise support him as much as u can,
Best of luck.