Urgent help needed

LegacyUser

I have decided to go unregistered for this one.

Basically I split up from my girlfriend near the end of July and I cant get over her.
I keep thinking that she is going to come back as we have always been with each other since we were about 12. She was my best friend and we did everything together/ I'm 16 now. She was the first person I have ever truly love and I lost my virginity to her. It is killing me to watch her talk to other boys on bebo and the like.. I really don't know what to do. One moment I think i'm over her and the next thing something will spark a memory and I feel like crying.. I have even felt suicidal because of this.. I didn't know where else to turn because my friends are all of the same age and not exacty the best people to talk to..

Thanks

Adam

As condescending as I know this sounds, remember that firstly all the advice you get here is coming from people who have all been 16, and 17, and 18 and so on.

The fluctuation in your emotions and feelings for her is purely hormonal. There's not much you can do about it but ride it out. As for what to actually do, have you told her how you feel, and would you want to try again?

I suggest you talk to her about it. And if nothin else, remember most importantly that you two were friends for a long time, and in my opinion that's still there if you want it to be. But the only way to save that friendship is to learn that you're young, as is she, and that while things seem like the end of the world sometimes at that age, there is SO MUCH MORE ahead of you, and you'll look back on all of this in 3 or 4 years and just smile, because I promise you, they don't seem it now but you will realise they were simpler times

Miss Fluff

Is this the end of July THIS year OP? If so time is a great healer and I think most posters can empathise with you how heart-breaking it is when you split from your first love. You will be absolutely fine though. Have you a good female friend you can discuss this with? Throw yourself into spending time with your friends and for now avoid going on Bebo and the likes, it won't do you any favours to torture yourself with information on who she is and isn't talking to. You will be fine, allow yourself to have a cry etc but trust me, you'll fall in love again, many times over, and you will, one day soon, be able to look back at this relationship fondly rather than being overly emotional about it. Chin up.:)

pookie82

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Is this the end of July THIS year OP? If so time is a great healer and I think most posters can empathise with you how heart-breaking it is when you split from your first love. You will be absolutely fine though. Have you a good female friend you can discuss this with? Throw yourself into spending time with your friends and for now avoid going on Bebo and the likes, it won't do you any favours to torture yourself with information on who she is and isn't talking to. You will be fine, allow yourself to have a cry etc but trust me, you'll fall in love again, many times over, and you will, one day soon, be able to look back at this relationship fondly rather than being overly emotional about it. Chin up.:)

This is good advice OP. Time will heal it. You WILL look back without pain one day. Don't check her bebo, and throw yourself into doing stuff with your mates. Maybe your mates are too young to understand you but one day their time will come and they will. Until then know that you're not alone - we've all been in agony over our first loves. In a way it's probably the worst pain you'll ever feel. But it will pass. Talk to someone about it - a parent (may not be an option) a sibling or an older friend. Or come on here to vent whenever needs be.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Overheal

You're very young to have come out of a long term relationship - its not something I imagine is very easy to handle at that age at all. Very few people your age will be able to really comprehend what you're going through because many people your age won't go through that experience for another few years yet. Its a sh!tty draw but it is what it is.

Look there's a lot more of life out there on offer. You've got another few weeks before you're back in school, go out and find something outside of the normal to do if its too hard to be around your friends or things that remind you of your ex. When I was 16 I hopped on a bus a few times and just headed to Lahinch for the view. It does a lot to clear your head. Then school will come back around before you know it and you can drown in a textbook if that's what you want. Cant hurt your grades much. But suicide is just too messy at your age

Try and remember everything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger. There will be other loves and they will know how to hurt you but before long you'll be up to the challenge. It helps to remember any time when you were younger and you thought your world was crumbling apart: you soon realize it didn't, and here you are.

G86

Hi OP

This is a hard thing to deal with at any age - let alone at 16 - but you WILL be ok. You need to stop checking her bebo though, its not going to help you move on at all. Is there no one at all you can talk to? Older brother or sister even? Your not alone in this, its happened to us all, but you deal with it and move on and life gets a hell of alot better, trust me

Phibsboro

Best advice I ever got for a bad breakup was ...

This too will pass.

Its simple but true- this too will pass. And when it does you'll be amazed at the intensity of your current feelings. As others have said, get out with your friends, keep yourself busy, don't try to find another GF in the short term etc. You'll be grand, just hold on in there for the next few months ...

C

RedXIV

You're probably not going to believe me on this now but i'd pretty a pretty big sum of money that in a few years, this will merely be a footnote in your life. I'm not saying what you had wasn't special, I know the power and impact love has on people, but you are entering a phase of your life where you are refining yourself into the man you will be. And it's a huge learning curve.

But you will be alright. This is your first relationship to end, correct? take it from someone who's been at the end of a few. you will get over this. it's only a matter of when. Don't torture yourself with her bebo page and try to keep contact to a minimum if not non-existant.

Best of luck OP

Red

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies.

Maybe I wasn't clear enough in my last message. We broke up at the end of June this year. At first I didn't think she was serious because we always used to break up and then go back out. but this time it was different and we talked about it and I talked and cried with her but I just couldn't get over her.

Things have now gotten a lot worse and I feel the most depressed I have ever felt.

She went away for a month at the start of July and Returned today. While she was away we sort of talked but she said she didn't love me anymore and told me to leave her alone.

Anyway she got back today and told me she had been with someone for the last week of her holidays who is in the year above us. She told me she misses him and she seems to hate me now and I still love her and I really don't know what to do.. I know peolpe are saying time is a great healer but as its going on its only getting worse and I only feel more depressed I really feel like not going on anymore...

homerjay2005

any break up is tough, but at 16 buddy, you have other things to worry about. stay away from her, go out and be with other girls. if your meant to be together, then one day, a few years down the line, you will get back together. its hard, but seriously, your only 16 and have alot to learn. this will make you a stronger person. stay away from her bebo, make her jealous maybe by finding girls yourself.

LegacyUser

Anymore help out there with my last post guys?