Advise please

LegacyUser

Ok so here goes.....

Myself & GF have been together just over 5 years, live together and are deeply in love.

About 18 months ago GF had some problems with her mental health, of which I wont go into now. Since then she's put on a little weight, from size 8 to 10. To be honest I think she looks great but its not about what I think. Anyway, she has been completely put off sex for the last few months. At this stage I have to admit its becoming difficult for me.

I don't want to put any pressure on her, she has enough to deal with right now without adding to it.

Has anyone out there been in the same boat before? If so, how did you resolve it?

Thanks.

Solarball10

Have you talked to her about it - has she given you a reason why she's gone off it?

r3nu4l

Is she on medication? Lots of medications effect sex drive. Has she changed contraceptive pill in the last few months? Some pills also effect sex drive.

AARRRGH

Frustrated! wrote: »

Since then she's put on a little weight, from size 8 to 10.

Sounds like she's at a healthier weight now, so that's a positive.

Frustrated! wrote: »

Anyway, she has been completely put off sex for the last few months. At this stage I have to admit its becoming difficult for me.

Have you tried talking to her about it? (In a sensitive, non-confrontational way of course.)

beth-lou

Poor girl. Maybe she's lost confidence. Maybe it's just a lull in that department which happens in every relationship. Try to gently romance her, make her feel special with no pressure. Lots of cuddles, romantic dinners, cinema, like oyu did when you first went out. Bringing it up might back her into a corner where she's more self concious about it. I'd try the softly, softly approach.
Hope this helps.

Jack Sheehan

Is it a body image problem? If it is just remember to keep assuring hwe of how good she looks.

herya

Medication is very likely to have caused it, or a general self image problems stemming form her health issues. Perhaps you should talk about researching the medication effects.

kizzyr

There are so many reasons why someone may go off sex: medication, stress, health issues, relationship problems (although you do sound very supportive so I'm not saying you have) etc etc. Your girlfriend is still very much in a healthy weight range so is clearly not fat to the world but in her head she may feel that way and it may be getting her down as well as everything else.

You could try talking to the doctor your girlfriend was seeing before. He/she won't of course be able to reveal details as they are confidential but you could outline the situation at home, ask them is one of the side effects of your GF's medication a low sex drive, and ask for advice on how to help both of you through this.
When did your GF last see this doctor? Maybe its time she went back for a check up.
Good luck:)

LegacyUser

First off, thank you all for your replys.
Will try to answer some of your questions.
Yes she is on meds and these can make one put on weight. It is most def a body image issue. No amount of, as suggested, mood setting, cuddling, talking etc. helps. Also, she will not accept any complements at all. As for talking it through. She does not respond well to preassure so unless its an issue of life and death I try not to go there with her.
Again, thanks all.

pookie82

Hey there. I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend sounds like she's going through a tough time. I think a lot of people (women in particluar) can identify with the feeling that putting on a bit of weight/not feeling your best can contribute heavily to a lower sex drive. Not feeling sexy can have a lot to do with it. Your girlfriend sounds like she's still at a healthy weight but if she used to be very skinny she's probably finding it hard.

All you can do is keep complimenting her (not in overload as it'll seem insincere and OTT but at appropriate intervals) and don't pressure her into anything. Her councsellor should be able to help her with body issues. If not, bodywhys is also an option. It may be that you both just have to ride this out until she gets to a better place.