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Snappy Answers

  • 01-08-2008 9:58am
    #1
    skinner2x
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 220 ✭✭


    Snappy Answer No. 1

    A stewardess was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a
    man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his
    coat
    and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see
    your
    ticket, not your stub."

    Snappy Answer No. 2

    A lady was picking through the frozen chickens at the supermarket, but
    couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the shelf
    stacker, "Do these chickens get any bigger?"
    He replied, "No , they're dead."

    Snappy Answer No. 3

    The policeman got out of his car and the lad who was stopped for
    speeding
    rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the
    policeman said. The lad replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I
    could."
    When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the lad on his way
    without a ticket.

    Snappy Answer No. 4

    A truck driver was driving along. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge
    ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
    stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police
    car comes up. The policeman gets out of his car and walks around to the
    truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck?" The
    truck
    driver says, "No mate, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
    petrol."

    And finally No. 5, THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR

    A university lecturer reminds her students of tomorrow's final exam.
    "Now, won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
    might
    consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a
    death
    in
    your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!".

    A smart-arse bloke in the back of the room raised his hand and asks,
    "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
    utter
    sexual exhaustion?". The entire class does its best to stifle their
    laughter.

    When silence is restored, the lecturer smiles sympathetically at the
    student,
    shakes her head, and sweetly says,
    "Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand."


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