how do you make friends

LegacyUser

I am going to go unreg for this. I am 22 years old and i have always found it hard to make friends. I have always been quite and shy but lately i have been breaking out from being shy. I havnt kept friends from school. I dont know why, but being in school all the talk was always about the night before and being drunk and what someone did that night. I could never join in on their conversation. i had nothing to say. my mother had never let me out to discos or to friends when i was in school. i never lied enough to her either. i was to honest, should have lied and went. i cant believe im saying this. im 22 and never been to a disco.

Now im 22, almost 23 and i dont have anyone to call a best friend. I dont have anyone i could go out and have a laugh with.I work with older people,in their 40 and 50s . i do talk to them but i wouldnt consider goin out with them.

thats the only thing i go out to. i get up in the morning and go to work and come home again. im getting bored of it. its depressing.

has anyone ever been in the same situation as me? what did u do? or give me advice on how to get out there and socialize more and make friends.

ryoishin

Hey making.friends im ryoishin (John) how are you?

There you ve just made a friend.

Use your hobbies to help you, sports teams etc always go out together. Heck Boards.ie go out together. Join some groups or clubs.

barbiegirl

Most of my friends in Dublin I met through work. Ask them about themselves, make yourself available to go out and do things with them. Join groups and clubs, say hi to the neighbours etc. You have to open up and make yourself available, you may get hurt and learn some lessons on the way but ultimately you'll arrive at a good gang of friends.
On the disco front start easy, with a latin dancing class or something, then you'll get more confident on the dance floor and also make friends, to go discoing with :-)

JuliusCaesar

Whereabouts are you? there's plenty to do in Dublin and they're easy to track down on the web. Think about what you're interested in.....preferably something involving people! Join something - whether it's Amnesty, or a netball club, or sailing....or just going out for drinks with Boardsies or MeetUp.com. Say hello - and smile.

PS as a mother, I have to say thank you for being honest with your mother - but not letting you out to friend's houses - why??? It's the parents job to encourage kids to become independent!

dazftw

Go into the forum of your county and organise boards.ie drink somewhere you would be surprised what may happen, going out drinking(socialising) may sound daunting but with a few drinks you will be talking to everyone and before you know it.. you'll have friends seriously this will work. Since I started going out at 18 ive made alot alot of friends whom I talk to alot on a regualr basis. Im turning 20 on sunday and I have 5 people coming to the party that are not my regular friends its great I cant wait!

Your probably thinking oh god I couldnt organise that.. Just do it and you wont regret it.. Seriously. Or ill make you do it :rolleyes: In a few weeks time you'll be a new man..or woman you never said :P !

AARRRGH

The only way to make friends is to force yourself to be around people.

The easiest way is to go to a boards.ie beers event. There will be a lot of shy types there; basically people who want to make friends too.

Night courses like French lessons, acting, dancing, etc. are full of people looking to make friends or meet someone of the opposite sex.

I guarantee if you do one or both of the above you'll make new friends.

Delirium

AARRRGH wrote: »

The only way to make friends is to force yourself to be around people.

+1

One of my friends who I've known the longest, just asked what I was listening to on my discman. Ended up we liked a lot of the same music. We've been friends for years.

Other examples would be, just got to know some people who showed up to a lot of gigs I went to.

Basically, try finding something thats of interest to you and where you can just meet with other people.

Drift

Hey OP,

I never went to a disco or club before I went to college at around 18. It's no big deal and you are not missing much. They're almost always dark, smelly and noisy.

As for the friends thing. It's not that difficult to make friends with people once you have contact with them. For a lot of people this occurs at work but you said you're working with people a lot older than you. The best option I think would be to pick up a hobby. If there's a local women's soccer club or gaa club you could join that - they're always looking for new members and relax it doesn't matter if you're not much good you'll pick up the basics pretty fast and you'll enjoy the training. If sport isn't your thing then you could try a local photography club or maybe a night course. Picking up a musical instrument and getting lessons could also help because you might meet like minded people who want to meet up and practise.

PM me if you're around Galway we can go to the cinema or something.

MIN2511

Hey OP, everything AARRRGH said

You are the same age as most of us who go to the beers and seriously you would make loads of friends...

Try not to think much about it

JaneyMc

Hey Op, can I ask where you are located? If you are near enough to dublin, you should think about coming to one of the ladies lounge cinema trips, get to meet a few of us? If you want to you can pm myself and we can arrange something! I've met a few really nice girls that way, and am good friends with them now! We go every few weeks or so!

If ya don't think we are all a bunch of loopers (no promises :P ) you can come to the next beers with us if you feel up to it and meet a whole gang of people!

Pen1987

come to a beers. Its gas, if you dont like th majority then dont come again. You could PM someone before one and ask to met up somewhere near beforehand if you dont want to walk in alone... garuntee a laugh.

sunnyside

I've done a few night classes but not for the purpose of meeting people. I don't think they are a great place to make friends at all. People arrive just a few minutes before the class starts and go their separate ways immediately after. They can be expensive too, if you were to go to a photography class you'd need a good camera as well as the price of the class. There's no point to that really unless you have a genuine interest in whatever subject your taking up.

I think a sports team, boards beers or voluntary work would be more effective for making friends. You'd have to participate much more than a night class where you could sit at your desk for 2 hours and only interact with the teacher.

Dancing could be a good option if you would enjoy it. Or online dating maybe.

ironictoaster

Nocturnal beers on the 16th of August in Eamonn Dorans

check it out

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055335523

LegacyUser

Im interested alright in these boards drink thing. How do i go about organising one?

Victor

You don't - they are generally organised here: http://boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=153

RedXIV

Or pick a day your home alone, bored. post in After Hours saying you feel like going for a drink, watch people flock to you

As always, depending on your location, i'm always available for a night out, can do dublin, carlow, wexford areas (coz i never know where i'll be )

Best of luck OP

Red

Firetrap

Hi OP. You're not missing much by not going to nightclubs. I'm glad I'm too old to go into them now - awful places. I wouldn't worry too much about not making friends from school either. I never really gelled with my classmates but did go on to make some great friends in university and beyond.

The best way to meet people is to join some sort of club or do voluntary work. How about doing something as basic as joining a walking club. Most towns have groups that go walking every Sunday. Don't be downhearted if you're not immediately making friends in there - it can take a few weeks before people stop sussing you out and start talking to you. I know it's the oldest cliche in the book but be yourself. If you make the effort, you'll be rewarded. And through people you'll meet people.

I agree about nightclasses - I've gone to a few and everyone just turns up beforehand and goes away straight away. Gyms too, I dunno. Though never rule anything in or out.

LadyE

I agre eon going to a beers, I went to an impromtu one there a couple of months ago, meet some really cool people there, have been friends since.

You really do need to force yourself to be around people tho, you wont make friends sitting in wishing you had them!

If ya wanna pm me when your logged in, you are more than welcome and really do try and get to beers...keep your eye out in AH

DJ_Spider

I think the nocturnal beers might be a bit daunting to a n00b, but if you go into the nocturnal forum we have a sort of virtual bar called the lair. Why not reg and pop in? we are a friendly bunch and you'll soon make friends. Even though I get a lot of flack on here, I still would consider a lot of people on boards my friends.

As they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained!