Worries about moving?

DubLegs

Hey All!
I’m a bit confused and need a bit of advice. Firstly apologies if I’m in the wrong forum and please feel free to move me if I am.
I’m thinking of making a huge change and moving to the other side of the country to be with my other half. I’ve no issue in being with him or if it’s going to work out etc, as we’ve been together 2yrs and are good together. There are just a few things that are causing doubts/worries in my mind, and I would really like some advice from anyone that’s been in the same situation before?
I live at home with the folks and have a fantastic relationship with them, we are very very close. I’ve never lived away from home before, (I’m kicking myself that I never went away to college but hey what’s done is done.) so I’m a bit daunted by it. My friends are all moving on with their lives, so we don’t see each other as much as we did but to keep in contact over the phone and emails. I think I’m a sacred that I’ll end up being isolated from them, mainly my family. I’m 25 by the way
My other worry is work. With all the talk and media coverage of recession and jobs losses everywhere, is it a good time to move? I work in the leisure industry and it’s a tricky enough industry at the best of times and I’ve be made redundant twice in this industry. The job I have at the moment is a great opportunity but it’s quickly loosing its sparkle and interest it once held. There are some days I dread coming in and days were I am left pulling my hair out with stress. Money wise it’s ok, promises made that never came to anything but told I’ll have a pay review in October, though I’m not sure I can do the job much longer on the same wages. Moving to the country drastically limits my chances of getting a job in the same industry, only thing I could get is a part of the industry I don’t want to go never – sales which I’m no good at. I left college with just a certificate so I don’t have a whole lot else academically speaking; however my experience in this new job has loads of different aspects. So to move means I’m taking a huge pay cut which I understand, (cost of living etc!) but is it a wise move to do now? Should I wait?
Also this job has been very good to be so job hunting and interviews would be very hard to disguise cos I’d need time off to attend interviews down there and would need to provide refs, so I’m sure they’d find out. I not sure if this is possible to do without letting them know my intentions?

Other than the above I’m really really looking forward to moving down and making plans for the future, actually being able to go home to my BF after work would be brilliant. I just keep getting knocked sideways but the above worries?
Sorry for the rant – I’m just looking for a bit of advice from anyone that’s done the above before?
Thanks!

Dixie24

I have been in this situation recently, i moved to Roscommon to be with my ex boyfriend, i left my family,friends and job....unlike you i wasn't with him that long so i suppose i jumped in to it a bit, but never the less even though it didn't work out for me (we lasted 3 months) i would have regretted it forever if i didn't go. luckily my employer hadn't filled my job so i was lucky in that respect, that i had something to come back to.

The only thing i would say to you is wait and save like mad so you can take time out from working altogether and concentrate on job interviews.

I also think potential employers would be understanding regarding going to your current employers for references and choose former employers. Maybe look in to admin positions even if they are not exactly what you are looking for they may tie you over until you get your ideal job, and you can set up interviews before you actually move.

Best of luck with it anyway!!!

pablo21

My partner dropped her life and family in wild west cork where she had a fantastic job and moved lock stock and barrell to live with me in the midlands. We only knew each other a short time so it was a big risk. Long story short we now have a beautiful little girl and are building our dream house!
Life is full of oppurtunities for happiness! You just need to chance your arm every now and then!!

EcoGirl

Fear goes with any big change. The answer is to acknowledge that and do the thing you want to anyway.

(Assuming that the decision is made for the right reasons and the practicalities stand up).

Good luck with it!

pookie82

Hey there. i can kind of relate to what you're goin through at the moment. I lost the job that I left college for a month ago. I'm livin on the east coast at the moment and have been for my college duration and I met my OH up here as he lives nearby. Now that I'm jobless I'm thinkin of movin back to the west where I'm originally from as although jobs aren't as plentiful down there, I really dislike the living conditions up here (number one being the stifling commute I had to endure each day for three hours into a city i hate) and i'm not a city girl and never will be. I'm also really close to my family, like you, and don't get to see them often enough for my liking. Ideally I'm thinking of relocating to Galway or outside it and of course it's become a concern that I'll be moving far away from the OH so we've been discussing the possibility of him moving down too.

It's a huge decision. A lot of my mates from home live in Galway and i'd be pretty happy down there but it'd be a big change for him. He's never lived anywhere other than Dub and I do think that the transition from city to country (as opposed to vice versa) is harder for most. It's very tough to give up all of your mates and proximity to the capital and all that that entails to essentially move for someone else.

Having said that, the cost of living outside of Dublin is so much cheaper. And there's less hassle with traffic and commutes and all that goes with that. I understand your hesitancy to leave the job you have and in that regard I think you're right - it's not the best time economically to throw your job away and assume another will fall into your lap. Why not let your OH move with the intention to follow him as soon as possible. Do a bit of job hunting. Like Dixie suggested, consider admin work for a while if you want to move sooner rather than later but can't find relevent work. But you need to make sure that there's a strong comitment on both sides to make this work. It's not sth you should consider for just any old boyfriend/girlfriend. Make sure he appreaciates all you're giving up.

On the up side, once you get used to making the journey back to Dub from whereever you're going you'll find that it lessens with time. When i first moved east the drive seemed endless and daunting - now I do it without thinking and the distance means nothing to me.

Re: getting around interviews and stuff: most people go for jobs while still in their current one and can do so without letting it slip until they have to announce they're leaving. The reason I know this is because every application i fill nowadays automatically asks how much notice I'll be giving in my current job and when I intend to leave it. I doubt you'll have to sit ten interviews to get another job anyway so you should be able to disguise going for one. Claim a sick day if you need to fit one in during working hours.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do, I hope it works out for you.

DubLegs

Hey Guys

THanks so much for the replies. They've helped me put things into prospective! Moving is something i definitely want to do, as i love that part of the country and it makes more sense financially for me to make the move (cost of living etc).
I am going to take Dixie and Pookies advice and wait a bit longer and save a bit of doss incase i'm out of work for a bit to cover bills etc. The saving for the move was actually something i didn't think of.

Thanks guys and gals!

Solarball10

Hi OP

I moved to Dublin from Galway with my OH last year, as he got a new job here. I was a bit daunted tbh, although unlike you, I had been living away from home for the previous 4 years. At 25, it is most definitely time for you to move out of the family home, and gain experience of what it's like to live independently. In saying that though, I do understand that you'd miss your family, not to mention saving a lot of money! (rent, food, etc.) Just keep in regular touch, and go home maybe once a fortnight or once a month, which is what I do.

About your job - if you have a sound supervisor, explain your position to him. I had the nicest boss ever, I told him I was moving to Dublin and he said anytime I needed time off for interviews, etc. it was no problem! It is probably advisable that you have a new job before you go moving. And I don't think the whole thing about the recession is that bad tbh - all the job sites (jobs.ie, irishjobs.ie) are currently full of positions, while more are being added by the hour!

bstar

hey i done the relocating thing in january moved from belfast down to dublin for the OH. movings hard but i found it was definitely worth it.

if you have a good boss explain about the relocating and they will be understanding i know my company was. they may even have contacts in the area your moving to and help you get a job in the same industry i know some bosses will.

def save up to move i needed way more money than i thought i would.

But im so much happier than i ever was in belfast:D