Asking someone about their sexual history?

LegacyUser

Okay, so I've been mulling this over for a while.

I've had unprotected sex in the past with one night stands and with girlfriends. Got checked out again recently and eveything was fine.

The casual nights were drunken affairs where I'd wake up the next day and lose my mind about what I might have caught.

With the gf's, it was a matter of using condoms for a while and then if they were on the pill we'd relax their usage.

So, now, I want to as responsible as possible when it comes to my sexual health. I don't want to be running for a check up after a sexual encounter.

But, what do you say to someone?

Let's say it's a casual thing - condoms are used - all should be well.

What if you're seeing someone - how do you broach the subject and when do you broach it? Is it just a matter of saying "hey, I really like you and I like having sex with you. Just to let you know, I was tested for STI's and have the all clear. How about you?"

Marksie

yep. Don't make a big deal about it.

If your planning to change contraceptive methods, then offer to go for an STI check regardless. It shows basic respect in my opinion.

Take it from there and see how the conversation goes

MIN2511

very funny question, i dunno some people may run for their lives and others may just answer honestly. But you have to ask first...

Also she could lie too.... She doesn't owe it to you to give you a honest answer.

sitstill

MIN2511 wrote: »

very funny question, i dunno some people may run for their lives and others may just answer honestly. But you have to ask first...

Also she could lie too.... She doesn't owe it to you to give you a honest answer.

She doesn't owe it to him to tell him how many guys she had sex with, or maybe if she previously had an STI thats cleared up and she's a bit embarrassed about it. But if there's a chance she has one now, she does owe to him to tell him. She should at least say whether or not she's been tested before.

Aurora Borealis

Straight out with it and ask. I've done it and would respect same from a partner.

MIN2511

sitstill wrote: »

She doesn't owe it to him to tell him how many guys she had sex with, or maybe if she previously had an STI thats cleared up and she's a bit embarrassed about it. But if there's a chance she has one now, she does owe to him to tell him. She should at least say whether or not she's been tested before.

Hmm....

Him: hey, can you tell me bout your sexual history?
She: :eek:, oh no i am fine nothing to worry about there

Truth of the matter is she could have something she doesn't know about/ she thinks telling him would jeopardise their "relaionship"


Dude; USE A CONDOM!!! AND WHEN YOU KNOW HER WELL ENOUGH YOU CAN DISCUSS CONTRACEPTION!

John Mason

i have sent all my serious partners for STI checks before we lost the condoms.

we have swapped reports, its called being a grown up

beertons

My partner brought me to my doctor, and sent me in with a list of things to get checked. Blood pressure, cholesterol, liver, testicular cancer, and stuck in sti'd in the middle of the list. Doctor was kind of taken back by the list, till I said she is a nurse. Be straight up about it. It's not as bad as it sounds.

Blazer

beertons wrote: »

My partner brought me to my doctor, and sent me in with a list of things to get checked. Blood pressure, cholesterol, liver, testicular cancer, and stuck in sti'd in the middle of the list. Doctor was kind of taken back by the list, till I said she is a nurse. Be straight up about it. It's not as bad as it sounds.

good one

Cathmandooo

Your health is YOUR own responcibility, protect yourself as much as possible at all times. When the time comes that you're comfortable with discussing STI screening then perhaps go together and get the results together for peace of mind.

LegacyUser

Well personally I won't ever have sex with someone again til they've been tested, I caught chlamydia when a condom broke and I also caught warts while using condoms so as far as I'm concerned the only safe sex is with someone who's been tested!!

LegacyUser

I just have the guy wear condoms all the time. I'll stop wearing them when I get married. The guy went without one once, and they sometimes slip, so there is a possibility however slight that I may give someone a disease. Better safe than sorry.

what drives me nutty is guys who don't like them. I think that circumcision plays a part in this, that they don't feel as much sensation and the condom is getting in the way. One guy whipped it off during sex, so I had an aids and STD test, and never spoke to him again.

The Mighty Ken

Better safe than sorry I say. There's nothing wrong with serious parters getting tested before they lose the contraception.

Here's a little something to lighten the mood: