Subtle Hints

LegacyUser

Dear Everyone,

My birthday is in about a week or more time & I would love a ring or some sort of jewellery for it. Last year was my 21st B'day & we were in Italy, he bought me a lovely 18ct gold necklace with gems. But he said cause we are saving money & a 21st b'day is always a big birthday rather than 22... he wont get anything that expensive...

He asked me this morning what present i would like & i said something small & sparkly. he nearly spilled his drink hehe How do i hint to him what I want without actually telling him (i dont want to be pushy) ? I know hes a bit lost about what to buy me..

Nevyn

Careful with your hints maybe he thought you meant an engagement ring.

mikewest

Thaedydal wrote: »

Careful with your hints maybe he thought you meant an engagement ring.

Snap

He's a guy. Subtle hints don't work unless delivered by steamhammer, take it from me we guys just don't pick up on subtle hints. It might be a good idea to tell him that it wasn't an engagement ring you were looking for ( unless of course you are looking for one;)) because he is s**tting a brick right about now is my guess.

Mr. Incognito

you want jewellary- tell him. we hate shopping and that'd save him a lot of time. You seem to be very material driven?

bangersandmash

lilac400 wrote: »

He asked me this morning what present i would like & i said something small & sparkly. he nearly spilled his drink hehe

No wonder, that certainly would imply an engagement ring to me.

If you definitely want a ring, you're better off simply telling him. The hints will probably be lost on him. However, if he knows you at all, would you not be content simply trusting him to buy you a present that you might like?

You say that you are saving money. But, depending on your circumstances, buying a ring might put some financial strain on him, as he might feel the need do buy something comparable to your necklace.

Aurora Borealis

Yup I'd be thinking engagement ring too. Poor guy is probably freaking, well that is unless your relationship is at that stage...

tobiesheba

I'd say the poor guy definitely thinks you're expecting an engagement ring!

But what I do in these circumstances is pick out two or three things that I would really like in a range or prices and just say I'd like either x, y, or z.

For example one year I was asked and I said I'd like a pair of silver stud earrings or a thin gold bracelet. Got a beautiful pair of white gold earrings.

And because you know last year's birthday present was especially special for your 21st you do kinda have a guideline as to what you bf can afford to spend.

enda1

SetantaL wrote: »

you want jewellary- tell him. we hate shopping and that'd save him a lot of time. You seem to be very material driven?

Its a fecking birthday present, what should she want? A goat for Africa to or some other nonscense?

John Mason

total agree, he thinks you want an engagement ring

men dont get subtle hints, you to tell him straight out and problem point to the exact one

Pen1987

remember that last year was a landmark birthday though, he may not think he should stretch his finances again this year... To be honest, I wouldnt!

DancingDaisy

Guys really aren't great with hints and telling him straight out what you want is really the best idea. Find out what his price range is and then maybe choose a couple of things and show them to him and just say you want something like that!

Dizzyblonde

Am I the only one who thinks this is a bit greedy?

DancingDaisy

I dunno if I would say greedy, I personally like to get a material product from my b/f for birthdays and such, it's because I like to have something to hold and to remember, it's generally home made gifts though, mix cd's or paintings he's done. I doubt it's the money that matters for the op, but more to have something to hold and to know.

However if it is a money based want, then I don't agree with that.

LegacyUser

mikewest wrote: »

Snap

He's a guy. Subtle hints don't work unless delivered by steamhammer, take it from me we guys just don't pick up on subtle hints. It might be a good idea to tell him that it wasn't an engagement ring you were looking for ( unless of course you are looking for one;)) because he is s**tting a brick right about now is my guess.

I do not want an engagment ring at all, it was kinda spur of the moment & i was thinking how can i point him towards jewellery in my answer so i blurted out small & sparkly! I love the necklace he got for me last year, we were in a shop in Italy & we decided together that it was the right present.

I know i sounded a bit greedy in my post, but if he didnt get me anything but a card i would still be happy, im not a princess type girl who gets everything she wants or else.

I just wanted to help him out by hinting in the direction of what i'd like, cause he asked me this morning & i thought he'd already had bough my present by now :-/

tobiesheba

She's not being greedy, he asked her what she would like for her birthday, which comes once a year. She would like some jewellery I don't think there's anything wrong in that.

Dizzyblonde

The OP and her boyfriend are saving and she wants jewellery for her birthday.

Nevyn

enda1 wrote: »

Its a fecking birthday present, what should she want? A goat for Africa to or some other nonscense?

Actually I think that would be cool.

DancingDaisy

I actually got a sheep from africa for my 21st from some friends, it was probably my second favouritist (I do realise that probably isn't even a word!) present. Thoughtful and different.

dade

Thaedydal wrote: »

Careful with your hints maybe he thought you meant an engagement ring.

yeah we may get a thread later along the lines of "the missus wants to get engaged for her B'Day, how do i break up"

on a serious note, just tell him. I know i hate buying gifts for my wife, and trying to get any info from her is like getting blood from a stone. Just take him to the local Jewelery shop and point and go "That one" he'll probably be so relieved hell buy it straight away

beertons

Depends on what you got him for his birthday too though. No point in hin splashig out on you, and he gets something of less value. Like for like, and that.

4Xcut

Standard practice: Give him 5 choices, let him pick one.

You get a surprise to some extent, and he gets to know he got you the right gift.

Dalfiatach

4Xcut wrote: »

Standard practice: Give him 5 choices, let him pick one.

You get a surprise to some extent, and he gets to know he got you the right gift.

Yer on the right track, but 5 choices is too many. Men hate shopping and we hate "subtle hints". Wimmins still seem to have trouble with accepting these two simple truths even after us telling them every day for thousands of years :rolleyes:

OP: If you want jewelery, give him 2 or 3 fairly clear and specific options, e.g. "I don't have any earrings to go with that red dress you like" or "I need a necklace/bracelet/brooch for situations X and Y"

This might seem like bizarre behaviour to a woman, but trust me this is exactly what your boyfriend wants to hear. Clear and direct guidance to a range of acceptable solutions to the problem. This is how men think, about everything:

A] Identify Problem ("need b'day present for GF")
B] Determine Range of Acceptable Solutions ("earrings in style x, necklace like y, possibly ring similar to z")
C] Make Decision "necklace like y"
d] Solve Problem "present given, GF happy"

Where things go wrong is when wimmins do the whole "subtle hint" thing, leaving us bewildered and confused over what B could possibly be, with the inevitable result that we get it wrong, youse sulk, and we go for a pint with the lads and moan about how wimmins expect us to be mindreaders, while you phone all your girlfriends and complain about your inconsiderate blockhead of a boyfriend who clearly wasn't bothered to listen to all your numerous hints :P

Oh, and while yer at it, clear up the "small and sparkly" engagement ring misunderstanding before the poor fella works himself into a panic

pookie82

Don't make him guess it's not fair. Tell him you'd love a nice ring (of the non-engagement type) and offer to go and pick it with them so all the stress is removed for him. [Plus you get exactly what you want, unless you trust his taste and like a surprise]. And don't go over the top price wise if you're saving. Sounds like he did enough last year!

Tell him asap that you're not looking to get engaged. Although you may think it's cute and funny that your slip of the tongue has made him think you want more, he may be digging out the passport and writing a dear John as we speak. Ye sound way too young to even toy with the idea.

astrofool

Tell him you would like a ring, not an engagement ring, give him the ring size of the finger you intend to wear it on. If possible, go and try the ring on yourself (if he agrees to buy it for you).

Tell him what colour you want it, and what stone you want in it (if any), failing that, he will probably be happier, and put out of his misery by you just taking the cash and doing it all for him. Be very thankful for it.

Do not make him guess, you will be disappointed by the result.