Another chance??

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

Before I even start i want to apologize for the long thread.

I was with this guy for two and a half years. Things were great when we were going out first. We were in love and I couldn't imagine my life without him. Thought he was the one. Few month later we moved in together and then little by little things were getting worse and worse we were arguing a lot and sometimes some violence was involved to. Few month later violence got so bad we were nearly killing each other. He could drag me by my hair across the whole apartment, hit me in the head with his fist, holding me down or just push me against the wall. The last time we had an argument I told him I was moving out, he tried to get by me and pushed me in the bathroom, I fell on the toilet seat and couldn't get up the bed or walk for a week and move properly for two weeks. Few days later I moved out.

Now when he realized what he's lost he wants me back and keeps texting and ringing me every day asking for another chance to show how much he loves me. He says he knows he was wrong and just wants a chance to put it all right and take care of me for the rest of our lives. Have to say he is a great guy, honest, helpful and kind, there were good moments in our relationship, he was nice and caring when he wanted to, but the for some reason badness takes over and thats all I can think of. I don't know if I can trust him again, believe that he will never raise his hand on me

Will I regret if I don't give him a chance or will I regret if I do?? I know nobody can answer this question, but what do you think?? Would you give him another chance??

decies

spam

cowzerp

you'll regret taking him back if you do, he;s not a great guy-he's a woman beater and will do it again in the future when things dont suit him, if you go back to him you will get slapped about again and will be 1 of them victims that asked for it, i dont mean to be bad but this is how it will go down,, dont even think about it, he'll want you because not many women will take this abuse-he knows you will..

tritium

Hi OP. Short answer is no, don't go back into this relationship.

In any circumstance I'd be inclined to tell someone not to return to a violent or abusive boyfriend or girlfriend. Usually theres a pattern in the abuser/ victimm relationship where the victim will swear that their other half is a great guy/ girl apart from when they get drunk/ loose their temper/ whatever, which is pretty much what you've done here. Simple fact is if you saw someone kicking the stuffing out of your parent/ sibling/child you wouldn't think of them a great person so why is it any different if it's you?

However, you also say it was so bad you were nearly killing each other, which I'm reading as you were both violent, in which case it sounds like a really destructive sort of relationship, of the type where each person is feeding their own violent tendencies on the the other persons equivalent nature. If this is the case then I'd doubly suggest that you stay away from each other, and that you also look for some professional counselling as to the source of any anger you may have.

insomnia08

I understand that you had feelings for him. But HE HIT YOU!!!

Men who hit women have a psychological problem. They have a lack of sympathy, and unfortunately, that means they CAN'T feel love.

If he hit you, he does nt love you. It´s hard to accept but it´s a fact.

Let him go, don't get yourself involved in a destructive relationship. If you love him suggest him to get help and let him go. If you go back to him you give him the message that it's ok to hit you or any other woman.

You deserve much more. This situation was unfortunate but move on and find someone who treats you right.

good luck x

Damzilla

Unless he had gotten some help to deal with his anger issues then no way would I go back.

He would need to prove that he had changed. I know people can change but it would be one hell of risk you would be taking.

LegacyUser

If a guy is capable of hitting you just once then he has it in his nature to do it again. Most men are reared never to raise a hand to a woman, if she's driving him nuts just to turn and walk away...no matter what she may have done.

If you give him another chance it will be the biggest mistake you have ever made in your life. You've achieved the difficult part by moving out, now stay away from him. This is not a lovers tiff you had, he could have been jailed for what he did to you.
Don't go near him and God help any woman who ends up with him.

PS. I'm a guy

MagicMarker

He didn't just hit you, he pretty much beat the **** out of you.

You're a fool if you go back to him, in fact you're a fool for even thinking that everything will be hunky dory second time around. Are you nuts!?!?

Have some self respect and forget about him. He doesn't deserve you, realize this!!!

SnowMonkey

ok so he beats you up ?
he trast you like garbage ?
he treats you like sh1t and yout htinking of going back to this clown

serously you need to get your head cheacked...

ude be a fool if you even kept in contact with him change your number and forget about the past if it doesnt work the first time how the hell will it work the scond time ? and dont even say bvecause hes promised he wont hit me or something...

the real reason he probably wants you back is no other womans stupid enough to go near the baboon. Serously youle do better off in life if you stay away from him... Men who beat women well i swear to christ im not even going to say what i think should be done to them..... because il be typeing for a long long time.

no chance.

hussey

Another chance wrote: »

Will I regret if I don't give him a chance or will I regret if I do?? I know nobody can answer this question, but what do you think?? Would you give him another chance??

I'm sorry ... but WTF? You either are a troll or a <something if I say will get me banned/>

Will you regret it? You pretty much outlined how much he nearly killed you.

The only chance he should be given is an empty chamber in Russian roulette.

He didn't just hit you once ... he hit you repeatedly. if he loved you he wouldn't have done it the first or second or third or .... etc

COH

Eh get the fcuk out immediately... jesus!

Colonel_McCoy

Will you finally realise he is not for you when he puts you in hospital!!!!????

Get out have some pride, nobody deserves to be treated like that. He is not a man just a woman beating coward.

drunkmonkey

Another chance wrote: »

He could drag me by my hair across the whole apartment, hit me in the head with his fist, holding me down or just push me against the wall

No second chances here, tough as it may sound you need to ditch this guy forever...

The guys a thug, end it for good now!!!

Karen_*

Well people can change but only if they really want to and most often they need help and are at least willing to get help in changing. Professional help I mean.

OP when you were a little girl did you dream of meeting a man who would drag you across the room by the hair? Is that what your parents wanted for you? Do not get back with this man. Being on your own forever would be preferable and what if you were to have children and how would he treat them or what would they see? you can't get back with him and you know that deep down. Never settle.

And just because you think you would never find yourself in this situation wondering what to do does not mean another person is a troll or a spammer.

Miss Fluff

Few month later violence got so bad we were nearly killing each other. He could drag me by my hair across the whole apartment, hit me in the head with his fist, holding me down or just push me against the wall. The last time we had an argument I told him I was moving out, he tried to get by me and pushed me in the bathroom, I fell on the toilet seat and couldn't get up the bed or walk for a week and move properly for two weeks.

Now when he realized what he's lost he wants me back and keeps texting and ringing me every day asking for another chance to show how much he loves me.

I wonder how he'll show you he really loves you OP?

Smashing your skull? Rendering you blind?Causing a head injury so you can no longer feed or dress yourself?

First step is getting in touch with these guys who will be able to help you see the wood from the trees hopefully http://www.womensaid.ie/

trio

Have to say he is a great guy, honest, helpful and kind,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Oh yeah, he's a KEEPER! Quick, does he have a brother? I really want one of these for myself! It's what I'd always dreamed of!

Seriously, you know full well what you need to do - delete him from your phone - ask Vodafone or whoever if they can block his number.

But possibly you just want a "dramatic" relationship since you appear to be actually considering going back to The Worst Relationship In The Western World. In which case, may God help you, cos you'll certainly need it.

Aurora Borealis

This man did more than throw a punch or a slap in rage. He held you down, rendering you powerless and beat you with his fists.

Do not go back.