I fancy a guy in work help!

macbarbie

Ok i dont know if this is the right place to post.... but il move it if not...
Basically Im with a guy nealry three years and i love him so much...
im jus very confused coz a new guy started in my job and im crazy about him... i dont know why, i can barely talk to him or i start sweating,heart racing,mind goes blank, i cant stop thinking about him even when with my boyfriend. I usually dont even look at another guy so i cant understand why this is happening,and it doesn help hes always smiling at me,askin how i am, walking by my desk for no reason!
I need to make these feelings stop coz i love my boyfriend and its startin to affect us, im gettin mad at him for no reason and not wanting to see him as much,then i feel guilty for my thoughts and get clingy and questioning do i really love him anymore!
i dont know what to do... i jus need help how to stop liking this guy!
Thanks in advance for any advice

mbren

Hey OP, I'm not sure if there is a way of stopping liking someone to be honest, but don't pursue anything with the guy in work.

The reason i'd say this is because you seem so in love with your current boyfriend and there is an old saying that goes like this...never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love!

Best of luck ;-)

Nevyn

So you are attracted to someone, that is not that strange or unusual what so ever.
Just beacuse you are in a relationship does not mean that you won't be attracted or that your body won't react to someone and even fantasing about someone else when shagging your other half is not that unusual either.

But what you do about it is what matters.

I don't think you can make those feeling stop but you can acknowledge them and then be rational about them listing all the very good reasons why it's a very bad idea and talk yourself out of doing anything daft.

Does the guy in work know you are in a long term relationship ?
IF you can not handle flirting in the workplace and it is being detremental to you and your work you need resolve this for yourself.

How are things in your relationship, cos if things were good you would not be as bothered by this.

macbarbie

mbren wrote: »

The reason i'd say this is because you seem so in love with your current boyfriend and there is an old saying that goes like this...never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love!

Best of luck ;-)

Thanks thats a good saying, I definately wouldn do anything if i stayed with my boyfriend i hate cheating and would never do it but its the conflict its causing that is annoying us, if im in bed with him,jus sleeping like and i start thinkin of the other guy i get very clingy coz i feel guilty but he doesn know that and i drive him mad etc...

Beruthiel

Thaedydal wrote: »

How are things in your relationship, cos if things were good you would not be as bothered by this.

Agreed.
We can all look at someone and think they are hot.
However, if you were in a happy relationship, that's as far as your thought process would or should go.

macbarbie

Its not affecting work thank god, its more jus with my boyfriend, i love him but things arent a special as they used to be, lost some sparkle you know, we fight a good bit so maybe thats why its getting to me so much... if we fought b4 i would think well i love him i dont want any1 else, now its more a case of, well i love him but there are others out there,and of course a certain some1 spings to mind!

Nevyn

So what are you going to do to put the sparkle back ?
Have you spoken to your bf about the arguments ?
Familiarity breeds contempt and relationships take work.

MuPpItJoCkEy

The sparkle doesn't last for ever. Love evolves into something else. Yeah if you get with this other fella, you'll always get that new couple feeling but then like any relationship, there's up and downs.

As someone said, "never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love!". Never a truer saying or as they say, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Try work things out with your boyfriend if you love him that much. Getting over things like this is what makes a relationship stronger and these are like little tests along the way.

Your are human so it's natural to feel attracted to other people and all the attention he seems to be paying you is flattering so yoru enjoying that too.

Jack Sheehan

I agree with thaed, it's your actions that count. No one can stop themselves being attracted to someone.