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Why am I feeling OK?

  • 29-07-2008 2:18pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I know lots of these personal issues get long winded so I'm going keep this short.

    I ended it with my Fiancé of over 5 years last week. I have known for months that it just wasn't going to work as we have both changed so much over the years. We have a lot of memories and have spent lots of time travelling etc.

    The thing is though, that I'm not depressed, down, feeling sorry for myself, lonely or any of the things I expected to feel. Instead I feel relieved and excited about the future.

    This is making be feel like a cold person. She is devastated and (understandably) ringing me the whole time. When we spent hours at the weekend sorting though our things I didn't cry... I didn't even get upset.

    Am I going to crash over the next week, or can breaking up with someone after so long really be OK once you get over the initial shock? Or am I simply a cold, emotionless a-hole who deserves to be alone.


Comments

  • #2
    WilmaRidesAgain
    Closed Accounts Posts: 125 ✭✭WilmaRidesAgain


    Nope, I dont think so, I think it just means you did the right thing and are happy and relieved, its good that you notice your ex is devastated and hopefully are treating her with sensitivity, but be careful also, not too much, as you dont want to lead her on/give her false hope.

    The best thing to do is be as kind as you can but remain clear, you stand by your decision, it is better in the long run not to muddy the waters with false hope!


  • #3
    Steve
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,584 ✭✭✭✭Steve


    I think part of the answer is that you subconsciously made this decision some time ago and were mentally prepared for it. Your partner on the other hand was not prepared.
    I'm sure there will be times where you feel guilty about it but at the end of the day time will heal her wounds too.
    Be supportive towards her but at the same time, do not mislead her into thinking that things can get back to where they were.


  • #4
    MJOR
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,796 ✭✭✭MJOR


    When a relationship ends its like a death of something. You have done your grieving while the relationship was coming to its ddemise. You knew for a while and maybe she's just more shocked.

    Good decision on getting out now. Time is a great healer and I hope she'll be ok


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