Help with with guy

LegacyUser

Need some help or suggestions! I really like a guy that works in a computer games shop I frequent - I recently found out he was single! I would love to just go in and ask him out for a drink but I'm too nervous to! I physically can't do it due to shyness which no matter what I do I can't control...I would be ok I think if it were outside the setting of the shop but as it stands I do not know his social circle or where he hangs out! Any suggestions about how I could get this guy without actually having to go in and ask him or is it hopeless - oh and I talk to him lots so he's had oppotunity to ask me but it never comes up

spinandscribble

you should just ask him out but if you really really can't manage that you could leave a message for him behind the counter. the thing is its a bit silly but if he fancies you that won't matter. just say on the note you didn't catch him while in working.
Firstly though do you think he might like you?

LegacyUser

Ummm I think so well I really did think so a good few months ago but in the meantime I had a boyfriend whom I've broken up with and he saw myself and the ex together a few times...he cooled off the chatting etc as a result but he's still always been friendly....so yeah I think he might fancy me but I'm a terrible judge on these things

MJOR

Write your name number and number and just give it to him.... if he's interested he will call!

StormWarrior

I know it's hard but you will have to just bite the bullet and do it. You can't hope he will ask you out, he probably won't because it may be seen as sexually harrassing the customers. Why not arrange to have a few friends round to your place and say to him casually, "I'm having a bit of a party next week, you look like the kind of person who would enjoy it, why don't you come along?" Then at least you're not actually asking him on a date. Alternatively, visit the shop with a friend. You can be discussing the party in the queue, and she can ask him.

entropi

MJOR wrote: »

Write your name number and number and just give it to him.... if he's interested he will call!

Heh i know this would work yeah, but the real reason i'm gonna comment is that men usually LOVE being asked out by a woman. Showing initiative is a good thing, at least he knows that there is some sort of spark and us men will normally follow such things to see where they lead.


If i were in your position, i'd just go up to him if he is there, tell him you are single and would love to go out with him if he is available, hand him your name and number, and walk out of that shop with a smile on your face

outspann

If you're nervous, you don't have to ask him out on a date - instead why not ask him to accompany you to something that is a common interest of yours - then there's no pressure

You say ye met through the games shop - any event that you could suggest ye go to that might tie in with that?

LegacyUser

The party thing wouldn't really work...

MJOR wrote: »

Write your name number and number and just give it to him.... if he's interested he will call!

SO I just go in and hand him a piece of paper and walk out....would a guy respond to that? Or should I ask him as well...never done anything like this....most guys would like this right?

Pen1987

Besotted! wrote: »

The party thing wouldn't really work...



SO I just go in and hand him a piece of paper and walk out....would a guy respond to that? Or should I ask him as well...never done anything like this....most guys would like this right?

well it depends if he likes you or not. If he does like you he'll love it, if he sees you as a friend he'll cringe - and then be embarassed next time he sees you.

It would fu<K with my head doing that, going in when hes not working, you dont know when he'll be in next so youre waiting around a week maybe HOPING he'll call, all his co-workers know you like him aswell now... blah blah blah, doesnt seem like something I'd want to put myself through, theres better ways of doing it. Saying that, Im the type of lad to just say stuff out straight to strangers after speaking for five minutes 'we should see each other some time...'

When you talk to him next right, suddenly realise you have to rush off but tell him youre really sorry that you'd love to finish the conversation but you wont be near the shop for the next few days then SUDDENLY (wow!) think, hold on, why dont you take my number and we'll chat later... give him your number, job done.

'Are you looking forward to the next GTA?'

Him- 'Yeah, Its already in production I heard'

'yeah but the last one was a bit ****, they took out the planes and bicycles from San Andreas and all...'

Him- 'yeah I noticed that blah blah blah'

'but I hear with the next one theyre going to have blah and blah'

Him- really..

'Yeah did you not hear? Youre suppose to know all this working in a place like this!'

Him- I know! No I heard nothing...

tut tut, I'll tell you about it later if you want, Ive gotta get to SHOP B before it closes though. Actually, here gimme a text later and I'll tell you about it if you want?

Him-em Ok

Give him your number...

Orizio

StormWarrior wrote: »

I know it's hard but you will have to just bite the bullet and do it. You can't hope he will ask you out, he probably won't because it may be seen as sexually harrassing the customers. Why not arrange to have a few friends round to your place and say to him casually, "I'm having a bit of a party next week, you look like the kind of person who would enjoy it, why don't you come along?" Then at least you're not actually asking him on a date. Alternatively, visit the shop with a friend. You can be discussing the party in the queue, and she can ask him.

This all seems rather elaborate and unnecessary, plus if some random girl asked me to go to a party I wouldn't necessarily see it as a come on nor would I automatically say yes. Not everyone likes going to a party when he doesn't know anyone there.

Best to keep it simple, either ask him out or slip him a note. Personally I wish attractive girls would slip me notes...;)

punchdrunk

ok this might sound silly but!

i used to work in game we had a loyalty card system where you filled in these forms and we had these things all over the till/shop

basically you have to hand it in (to the cute chap obviously!) and the lads type it into the computer,usually do it right after the customer has left (cause it'd be rude to that much typing it in front of the customer) this buys you enough time you give him a nice big smile so he'd deffo have you on the radar but when he gets the message after you've left neither of you is put on the spot!

so what you do is go in and get one,then fill it in at home but rather than fill it in totally,hawk his name from his badge and then fill in your name/no
and in the address box just write
"hey ....(stick his name on it),i know this sounds a little crazy but do you fancy a drink saturday? call me!"

try it!

Pen1987

punchdrunk wrote: »

ok this might sound silly but!

i used to work in game we had a loyalty card system where you filled in these forms and we had these things all over the till/shop

basically you have to hand it in (to the cute chap obviously!) and the lads type it into the computer,usually do it right after the customer has left (cause it'd be rude to that much typing it in front of the customer) this buys you enough time you give him a nice big smile so he'd deffo have you on the radar but when he gets the message after you've left neither of you is put on the spot!

so what you do is go in and get one,then fill it in at home but rather than fill it in totally,hawk his name from his badge and then fill in your name/no
and in the address box just write
"hey ....(stick his name on it),i know this sounds a little crazy but do you fancy a drink saturday? call me!"

try it!

No offence but I think you've watched one to many Hugh Grant romantic comedies. If I was the lad and that happened Id be in bits laughing and think Id bagged myself a stalker. Its not natural, portrays the minimum of confidence and requires a lot of work... plus it could destroy any chances she has of returning to the shop with any dignity...

punchdrunk

Pen1987 wrote: »

No offence but I think you've watched one to many Hugh Grant romantic comedies. If I was the lad and that happened Id be in bits laughing and think Id bagged myself a stalker. Its not natural, portrays the minimum of confidence and requires a lot of work... plus it could destroy any chances she has of returning to the shop with any dignity...

better than the possibility of being shot down infront of everyone! :P

MagicMarker

Definitely slip him the note... That way you avoid any difficult and embarrassing situation for the both of you.

If he likes you, he'll call you.
If he doesn't, he won't.

Pen1987

punchdrunk wrote: »

better than the possibility of being shot down infront of everyone! :P

You have a point there, thats why she should give him her number in kind of 'in passing' - 'lets finish this conversation later, gotta go' style, then if he texts her she'll know wether hes interested or not and can ask him out properly then... if he doesnt text then she'll have lost nothing and knows hes not interested.

Sorry for talking about you like youre a casefile OP

2cute2worry

you could stand outside write ur name number on a piece of paper and make a paper aeroplane out of it and throw it in the shop.... im joking:)

spinandscribble

look give in the note, if you hear nothing in a week just go to a different gaming place. if he likes you he won't care overall if its shy ect.

hussey

Besotted! wrote: »

The party thing wouldn't really work...

SO I just go in and hand him a piece of paper and walk out....would a guy respond to that? Or should I ask him as well...never done anything like this....most guys would like this right?

Give him a cheeky smile or a wink, and say if you are interested

back in the days of youth, I sold a phone to a girl (back when mobiles were new), and she said "Oh can you write down my number for me" I did and handed it to her and she said
"Oh I know my number is on the box, that is for you to call me at the weekend" and smiled and walked away.

so you can either post on the internet about how shy you are, or you can just do it.

MagicMarker

hussey wrote: »

Give him a cheeky smile or a wink, and say if you are interested

back in the days of youth, I sold a phone to a girl (back when mobiles were new), and she said "Oh can you write down my number for me" I did and handed it to her and she said
"Oh I know my number is on the box, that is for you to call me at the weekend" and smiled and walked away.

so you can either post on the internet about how shy you are, or you can just do it.

Nice!:)

I assume you called?

Do it op, dooooo it!

Overheal

Nice one Hussey

While youre dropping off that note buy a 2 player game. "Oh but I have nobody else to play with. What a shame.."

LegacyUser

Ok I've decided I'm going to do it - the note thing - haven't had chance yet because I've not been in town...Ok basically I'm quite crap at the pursuing thing cause normally I've been aske by the guy not this way around - should I write an actual note to give him and do I hand it to him or what and just walk out...sorry also I'm 19 going on twenty and he's twenty six!

zzantara

Wow,it's great to see that romance is still alive and kicking !!,either "do the note thing"--suggestion--
Thanks for being so friendly to me anytime I am in the shop,I'd like to get to know you better ,can I buy you a drink ? please text/cal me @08****** ???
or
Next time you are in the shop and too many people are not around just say the above.
It sounds stupid but both girls and guys are both equally nervous/shy about these things,I would be considered confident in all other situations but go to pieces in these situation,??
I think the card is better as he might burst out a nervous No for no good reason even if he really would love to go out with you but really regretting it later,the card thing doesnt put him on the spot and he can reply to you later.
Good luck and promise to let us know how you get on !

cournioni

If you're shy, then the way to go is the name and number on a piece of paper. If not then just ask him straight up. You have nothing to lose.

Pen1987

tell us how it went when you do actually go through with it. Im interested to see how this note thing works out.

LegacyUser

So I built up the courage and finally asked him - didn't go the note route in the end just came out and asked him but unfortunately he turned me down saying he wasn't looking for relationship or anything like it at the moment...totally embarrassed now...

abitlonely

Besotted! wrote: »

So I built up the courage and finally asked him - didn't go the note route in the end just came out and asked him but unfortunately he turned me down saying he wasn't looking for relationship or anything like it at the moment...totally embarrassed now...

Well done. Not nice but do you feel a bit of relief now?

LadyE

Fair pla to you OP..his loss

Its better knowing, than not knowing and regretting not asking him!

Pen1987

fair play. Lot wouldnt of put themselves out there.

Piste

MagicMarker wrote: »

Definitely slip him the note... That way you avoid any difficult and embarrassing situation for the both of you.

If he likes you, he'll call you.
If he doesn't, he won't.

Do this, and if he doesn't call just frequent another computer shop so you don't have to face him again.




Sorted!

Orizio

Besotted! wrote: »

So I built up the courage and finally asked him - didn't go the note route in the end just came out and asked him but unfortunately he turned me down saying he wasn't looking for relationship or anything like it at the moment...totally embarrassed now...

His loss.

You have more courage then most.