If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)

Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

what's the difference...

The Bollox · 2008-07-29 11:01:35

what's the difference between apples and oranges? you can't wash your windows with a shovel

29-07-2008 11:01am

#1

The Bollox

Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭

Join Date: December 2004

Posts: 4862

what's the difference between apples and oranges?

you can't wash your windows with a shovel

1

Comments

#2 29-07-2008 11:20am

Hagar

Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2002

Posts: 15106

There's no such thing as an apple bastard.

0
#3 29-07-2008 12:54pm

dak

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭

Join Date: October 2006

Posts: 1943

Hagar wrote: »

There's no such thing as an apple bastard.

Thats a bit tart!

0
#4 29-07-2008 1:23pm

patmac

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,602 ✭✭✭

Join Date: September 2005

Posts: 7174

What's the difference between a Butler and a cross country runner

One likes a pant in the country.

What's the difference between a magician and a garda batton

One's for Cunning Stunts.

0
#5 29-07-2008 1:37pm

Homer

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,370 ✭✭✭

Join Date: May 2007

Posts: 3978

Since we're on stupid jokes

Two muffins are sitting the oven. Then one goes: "Damn, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it...?" The other one jumps up and screams: "Holy shit! It's a talking muffin..."

0
#6 29-07-2008 2:24pm

FrCrilly

Closed Accounts Posts: 528 ✭✭✭

Join Date: September 2006

Posts: 323

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055135564&highlight=what%27s+the+difference

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055136519&highlight=whats+the+difference

0
Advertisement
#7 30-07-2008 8:36am

The Bollox

Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭

Join Date: December 2004

Posts: 4862

what's green and has wheels?

grass. I lied about the wheels

0
#8 30-07-2008 11:14am

boneless

Closed Accounts Posts: 4,487 ✭✭✭

Join Date: May 2005

Posts: 4402

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.

0
#9 30-07-2008 3:05pm

renmorescout

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 125 ✭✭

Join Date: February 2006

Posts: 111

Whats brown and Sticky...?

A Stick !

0
#10 30-07-2008 3:55pm

bill_ashmount

Closed Accounts Posts: 1,047 ✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2005

Posts: 1034

Two pigs sitting in a bath. One pig says to the other "Pass the soap please". Other pig says "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

**********************************************************

Boy walks into a shop and asks the man behind the counter for a white sliced pan. Shop owner says "sorry little man we only have brown sliced pans left". Little boy says "That's ok, I've got my bike outside".

0
#11 30-07-2008 4:10pm

Vic Vinegar

Closed Accounts Posts: 6,241 ✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2006

Posts: 6023

bill_ashmount wrote: »

Two pigs sitting in a bath. One pig says to the other "Pass the soap please". Other pig says "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

**********************************************************

Boy walks into a shop and asks the man behind the counter for a white sliced pan. Shop owner says "sorry little man we only have brown sliced pans left". Little boy says "That's ok, I've got my bike outside".

Bizarre!! funny also!

0
Advertisement
#12 30-07-2008 10:57pm

Awesomo-4000

Closed Accounts Posts: 62 ✭✭

Join Date: February 2008

Posts: 58

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Cos he was dead.

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

Cos he was tied to the first one.

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

He thought it was a game.

Why did the sheep fall out of the tree?

He thought he was a monkey.

0
#13 31-07-2008 7:41am

The Bollox

Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭

Join Date: December 2004

Posts: 4862

how do you know if an elephant is in your fridge?

there'll be footprints in the butter

how do you know if there's 2 elephants in your fridge?

you won't be able to close the door

how do you know if there's 3 elephants in your fridge?

there'll be one very bored looking elephant parked in a mini out the front.

what did Alexander The Great say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?

"oh look, here come the elephants"

wat did Alexander The Great say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses?

nothing. He didn't recognise them

how do elephants hide?

they paint their balls red and hide in cherry trees

what's the loudest sound in the jungle?

a giraffe eating cherries

what's green and brown and if it fell from a tree it would kill you?

a snooker table

0
#14 01-08-2008 12:44am

pebbles21

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,817 ✭✭✭

Join Date: December 2007

Posts: 1697

whats black and white and goes bump bump bump bump bump bump......

a nun falling down the stairs!

whats black and white and goes hahahahahhahahhahahhahahahaha........

the nun who pushed her!

0