Meet the parents

LegacyUser

I gave up my home to live with my boyfriend a while ago, we are really happy.

He met my parents after a couple of months it was important to me as I am family orientated. He isn’t and his parents don’t live in the country (they are English) but they lived here for years and years.
I met them after about 8 months (on there next visit)
and they loved me and all was brilliant they were delighted etc when we moved in together eventually
His mother is visiting in a month and I suggested that my mother have her over for dinner, he said no they will meet when she’s here with my father and that even then that he wasn’t ready for them all to meet that he’s never had that situation before and that he will decide when this will happen

I am taken aback and quiet shocked and hurt too that he said this, I had suggested to him that when I met them that another time when they were over they would all meet and it was met with the same attitude but I brushed it off

Does he think my parents aren’t good enough for his parents ?

Even after the moving in and speaking about the future does he still deem our relationship not serious enough for them both to meet ?

All these thoughts are going through my head and I don’t know how to put them into what I am feeling
He knew I was upset when speaking about this I just didn’t know quite what to say
What am I supposed to do ?

Nevyn

Talk to him about it, some people think that such things are done as part of a couple getting enguaged.

StormWarrior

Perhaps he is ashamed of his own family, and is embarrassed for your parents to see them?

Thaedydal

Thaedydal wrote: »

Talk to him about it, some people think that such things are done as part of a couple getting enguaged.

Is that not very formal though?

Dizzyblonde

Maybe I'm a bit out of touch with modern relationships but it sounds strange that your bf feels strongly enough about you to want to live with you and yet doesn't want your parents to meet his.
Even if there was a problem with his parents I'd have expected him to let you know by now. People usually talk about these things to their partner.
You need to ask him out straight why he's putting it off.

CathyMoran

I don't think that he is being unfair - our parents have only met up twice (once when we got engaged and once at the wedding) - I would not worry about it. Our relationships with our inlaws are important not our parents with our parents (even if they did get along great).

Mrs_Doyle

I live with my BF, and we're engaged, and our parents probably won't meet until the wedding day.
His folks moved to South Africa 5 years ago, so I've only met them a few times myself. We Spent a 10 days in Cape Town in January, and they spent 5 weeks in Irleand in June/July.
However, they didn't stay in Dublin, they stayed in Offaly, so even though I took a few trips down during their stay, it would have been a lot of hassle to bring my folks along too.

His folks love me, my folks love him. We both get along really well with each others extended family, and would often socialise with them, so tbh, it just didn't seem like a big deal that we go through the hassle of getting the folks together.
Its all good the way it is!

Mrs_Doyle

CathyMoran wrote: »

. Our relationships with our inlaws are important not our parents with our parents (even if they did get along great).

Exactly!

RedXIV

Doesn't always work the way you want it to OP!

Remember my school years sweetheart and how easily i wrapped them around my lil finger, as she did my parents. And then there was some school function and they met and boy did they hate each other from the get go.

.......Realise this may have little to no relevance to what your actually issue is but it's the first thing i thought of when i read the post.