Love at first sight??

LegacyUser

hey all, long time poster, but going unreg for this
im just wondering has anyone ever experienced love at first sight?
i have never believed it that is until i met someone. we've only met 3 times so far, but its a if we have this connection, well i feel it i donno if he does.
the thing is im not the kind of person to be totally besotted by someone, but i cant stop thinking of him, he wouldnt be my usual "type" i wouldnt class him as good looking but theres something about him. we get on so well, never an awkward moment between us, he makes me laugh etc
ive been involved in quite a few relationships but ive never felt this way about someone?
is there such thing as love at first sight or am i just crazy?
cheers

Wibbs

It's lust at first sight. Or he just fits really well the unconscious template of the right guy in your head and that gives you those feelings. When you meet an talk to him more you'll try to fit that ideal into what he says and how he acts and will ignore those parts that don't fit. If there's enough of the good bits to sustain it then it may translate into love and you'll be a believer in love at first sight. If not then you'll chalk it up to experience. It's kinda a self fulfilling thing. We've all done it to one degree or other. Men and women.

Love at first sight, by it's very definition can't be true. Love requires a fair time to grow. Lust is instant. That's my take on it anyway. No reason not to pursue it though. At least the major attraction is there for you

Your not crazy, it is possible to feel a connection just like that.
But love is an emotion that is constantly growing, and requires nuturing.

You have a good foot under you, keep enjoying yourself and leave the big questions for later.

LegacyUser

I am happy for youi had that with someone and pused them away. I know that feeling its not quite love yet but its heading in that direction. good luck to you ......

Creamy Goodness

go for it, life is too short.

if only i could live by my advice.

as Wibbs said, it's most likely lust at first sight but hey there's a good chance it could turn into love and you'll never know if you don't make a move.

orlyice

I dont think there is love at first sight as in you spot someone across the room and your eyes meet and you fall in love instantly with this person. I dont think you can love someone who you have only met 3 times either. how boring would that be!!

What you are feeling IMO is infatuation, in some cases its nearly as strong a feeling as love! you need to get to know them, you want to know everything about them! you have to know someone before you can love them.

IMO when you get that feeling about someone you have just met and as you get to know them better you do fall in love with them.

good luck

LegacyUser

wibbs i agree with alot of what you've just said.
but i have never ever come close to feeling this way about someone ever before. i wuld have said the excat same thing as you have but im begining to question it now. even if it is just lust its a nice feeling.

Wibbs

Oh I'm not saying it's not a powerful feeling, I'm just saying that it's not love as I would define it anyway. It may turn out that way and with that powerful attraction it has a better chance to get there on that basis. In any case pursue this and see where it takes you.

AARRRGH

It's called infatuation.

It's fun and it's rare, so go for it.

Ignore those who say it's not possible. It is and it can be amazing. Rare as it is.

STUBBORNGIRL

you hear these stories of people talking about their other half saying oh it was love at first sight - but when in fact it was lust. I can guarantee you those very people have thrown that same line around on other occasions and it those relationships transpired into nothing.

It is possible to think you love someone at first sight - God i have thought that on many occasions but after encountering some of the eejits I was wondering what the hell did i ever see in them!

Love is something that you build through getting to know someone and accepting them bad habits and all. for you Op you are at an early stage which is lust and that lust can thus develop into love over a period of time, it just requires a bit of effort and patience.

Best of luck in finding out (that is the fun part:) )

STUBBORNGIRL

STUBBORNGIRL wrote: »

you hear these stories of people talking about their other half saying oh it was love at first sight - but when in fact it was lust. I can guarantee you those very people have thrown that same line around on other occasions and it those relationships transpired into nothing.

It is possible to think you love someone at first sight - God i have thought that on many occasions but after encountering some of the eejits I was wondering what the hell did i ever see in them!

Love is something that you build through getting to know someone and accepting them bad habits and all. for you Op you are at an early stage which is lust and that lust can thus develop into love over a period of time, it just requires a bit of effort and patience.

Best of luck in finding out (that is the fun part:) )

More nonsense from people who think they've experienced it but then bitterness at later failure skews it for them. Of course it's possible.

Wibbs

Deleted User wrote: »

More nonsense from people who think they've experienced it but then bitterness at later failure skews it for them. Of course it's possible.

No that's just your view of it. I've had "love at first sight" once. Very strongly. And it translated into a long loving relationship. yes we split, but even that was OK at the time(not obvious reasons). I still hear from her from time to time and she would be one of my soulmates(though she's hitched to lovely bloke). So all in all I wouln't be bitter at all about her. We were lucky to know each other and love each other. I do realise though that the initial spark was just that a spark based on lust and expectations of the other person and it could have gone either way. It wasn't love. I knew when I loved her and there was one hell of a diff.

McGinty

Hi Op

Whilst I believe you can develop an instant connection with someone I don't know if I could call it love at first sight, what I have experienced and continue to experience is a deepening of love with my partner, and like you I was around the block (in my case a lot) I'm older and little knocked around the edges, but when I first met my partner what I felt was 'yes' it wasn't lust (I've had that before) it was something else, I found I could sit silently with him on our first date and shock of shock I was comfortable with that. I just felt a really good vibe, would I call it love, no but I would call it an instant and good connection. I do love him now, and that developed quite quickly and I know I love him because I totally accept all aspects of his personality, both the good and the bad, and he accepts all the parts of me. We both realise we are lucky to have this feeling but know the importance of working on our relationship and making sure it stays strong and we don't take each other for granted. It is possible you have developed an instant connection where you just 'feel right' with this guy or it could be a powerful attraction that you think is love, (I had that too, it turned into an awful obsession), just keep checking it is the former and not the latter, and best of luck :-)

STUBBORNGIRL

Deleted User wrote: »

More nonsense from people who think they've experienced it but then bitterness at later failure skews it for them. Of course it's possible.

well Kayroo i take it you have experienced it then? and i am not bitter about any of the times i have thought it was love at first sight.....to find out that the guy had no personality. keep trying and i someday i might be right

Love at first sight.....you couldnt possibly love someone that you havent met yet! Lust, attraction, infatuation - yes all those but definitely not love!

The op states he is not good looking but there was something about him - attraction - chemistry its been known to happen but Love is a term that needs maturity for it to symbolise anything!

Nonsense to you but it is just my opinion and everyone is entitled to one of those.

LegacyUser

dfjekwf'jwp - you sound familiar.....

OP - I know exactly what you mean, I've felt that about 3 times, more recently just a few weeks ago - but it didn't work out.

Its when you know the person may not be your regular type - but there's just something about them and you just 'click'.

I think that scares some people though - hence why I think my thing a while back didn't work out - the guy didn't know what he wanted. I was gutted - but not on the same scale as I would have been if it was love - so although its a strong feeling alright I don't think its love until you get to know the person a bit better. I think its when you know you COULD love that person.

Well, there can definitely be a feeling of "something" at first sight, call it what you will, chemistry, vibes, aura, lightning bolts, etc etc. That's what I felt anyway, oh.... 24 years ago!! And my OH still gives me butterflies. Mmmmmm. First and only boyfriend too. How sickeningly romantic.!

RedXIV

I'm one of the cynics i'm afraid, i don't believe in love at first sight. I believe in lust, attraction and fascination within the first few moments but i believe you can't love someone until you know them. Sucks being a cynic but there ya go

bennyblanco

Nothing is impossible,go for it and good luck with it

Liam Byrne

we get on so well, never an awkward moment between us, he makes me laugh etc

I'd say explore it further......but don't dive in; TBH the above is what "should" be the norm.

I'm just out of something with someone who wasn't my "type" either, but it was fun and I'll miss it....

LegacyUser

saneorcrazy wrote: »

hey all, long time poster, but going unreg for this
im just wondering has anyone ever experienced love at first sight?
i have never believed it that is until i met someone. we've only met 3 times so far, but its a if we have this connection, well i feel it i donno if he does.
the thing is im not the kind of person to be totally besotted by someone, but i cant stop thinking of him, he wouldnt be my usual "type" i wouldnt class him as good looking but theres something about him. we get on so well, never an awkward moment between us, he makes me laugh etc
ive been involved in quite a few relationships but ive never felt this way about someone?
is there such thing as love at first sight or am i just crazy?
cheers

Wow, thats exactly what happened to me!

I met a girl through friends one night and immediately hit it off with her. We ended up chatting all night to each other. Like you said, she wasn’t a model or anything but something just clicked. I couldn’t get her out of my mind, any time I would think about her I’d get major butterflies. It was almost as if she had infected me!

After meeting her a couple more times I got her number and we went out on a few dates. I was hooked! To me then she was the love of my life and I would have done anything for her. I had the best 3 years of my life with her and have some amazing memories but she had a bad car crash and didn’t make it. Even now (although sad) just thinking about her brings a smile and a tear to my face.

I’ve been out with other girls but I’ve never had that same spark that was there, was it love at first sight. In my honest opinion yes it was. Don’t let an opportunity like this pass you by, they can be quite rare.

Good Luck and god bless!

LegacyUser

thanks everyone for all your points.
i do believe that this guy is special, what will happen well i donno, i have never and wouldnt like to be the type who becomes infatuated with sopmeone i dont think its healthy.
i thought i was in love in a previous relationship but i never experienced the feeling im feeling now. and believe me i more than know that "love" is built through knowing someone, of course, but this connection is well.....fantastic


fourshoes im so sorry to hear about loss, but i suppose in one way at least you got to experience true love, and you've alot of great memories that no one can ever erase

Alice1

I believe in love at first sight - I didn't til it happened to me - 20 years ago. I'm married to him now - and he still makes my heart turn over.

Tis rare but yes, it is possible in my opinion.