Quick 'Uns

rocky25

A city slicker shoots a duck out in the country.

As he’s retrieving it, a farmer walks up and stops him, claiming that since the duck is on his farm, it technically belongs to him.

After minutes of arguing, the farmer proposes they settle the matter "country style."

"What’s country style?" asks the city boy.

"Out here in the country," the farmer says,

"when two fellers have a dispute, one feller kicks the other one in the balls as hard as he can.
Then that feller, why, he kicks the first one as hard as he can.

And so forth.

Last man standin’ wins the dispute."

Warily the city boy agrees and prepares himself.

The farmer hauls off and kicks him in the groin with all his might.

The city boy falls to the ground in the most intense pain he’s ever felt, crying like a baby and coughing up blood.

Finally he staggers to his feet and says,

"All right, n-now it’s–it’s m-my turn."

The farmer grins.


"Aw, hell, you win. Keep the duck."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: What''s the difference between a gynecologist and a geneologist?


A: One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three men are arguing in a bar.

The first says,

“God must be a mechanical engineer—just look at the joints in the human body.”

The second says,

“God is an electrical engineer—look at the nervous system.”

The third says,

“God has to be a civil engineer,

who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular checkup.

"Any specific problems you should tell me about?" the doctor asked.

"Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniest cut, it seems to bleed for hours," she replied.

"Do you think I might be a hemophiliac?"

"Well," the doctor answered, "hemophilia is a genetic disorder and it is more often found in men, but it is possible for a woman to be a hemophiliac.

Tell me, how much you lose when you have your period?" the doctor inquired.

After calculating for a moment the hooker replied,

"Oh, about seven or eight hundred dollars, I guess."

mickrourke

Excellent stuff Rocky, tell me are you really half christmas cracker?

rocky25

Just the bottom half :eek: or so me missus sez:rolleyes:

mickrourke

Jaysus, even if i told my missus my bottom half was a cracker she still wouldn't pull it!