How to get a kiss?

LegacyUser

Hi


This might seem like a stupid post. I'm fairly shy. I just don't know how to make the first move on a girl. I've often been out and talking to girls (usually ones I already know... as I said I'm a bit shy). Some of these are girls that I like and sometimes I think they might like me back but I never know.

Needless to say I never know how to read the signs or what to do. I just don't know how other people do it. Should I 'lunge' in or a varient (i.e. slowly lean in) or am I supposed to ask as in "Can I kiss you". I always just end up chickening out and hoping the girl will make a move if she's interested but they never do....Maybe they think I'm not interested because I don't try it on with them. I just don't want to make a mess of things and think "I'll know the next time" but then the next opportunity doesn't happen or else the cycle just repeats.

It's a bit sad but I just don't know what to do. And as for my age, I'm no longer a teenager so it's a bit ridiculous.

I just want to know if there is a proper way, not people telling me it'll happen or it's normal or whatever. Likewise I don;t need people telling me it's easy. I know it's easy for other people but until I get over this hurdle it's not easy for me.

Thanks

Harpie

If ya think a kiss is on the cards tell her that her eyelashes look really long..ask her if they're false..in a cheeky way She'll say no you ask her to close her eyes so u can see, then kiss her when she closes em

Pen1987

Harpie wrote: »

If ya think a kiss is on the cards tell her that her eyelashes look really long..ask her if they're false..in a cheeky way She'll say no you ask her to close her eyes so u can see, then kiss her when she closes em

Theres no point in fooling her into kissing you, cheesey as fook.

Her body language will change. Irish and Northern europeans have a personal space of approximately 2 1/2 feet that they dont feel comfortable with strangers invading. Basically you've got to invade this completely, quite a task if you dont know what youre doing. Easy if you do.

I wont bother with how to start a conversation because thats not the question, although it seems to be every lad except me's problem for some reason I cannot understand, but here how to realise she wants to kiss you. It happens in phases in my opinion. So, anyway your there chatting away to her.

First thing is she asks you about yourself, shes interested in hearing about you (you'll have to have made her laugh to do this).
You answer, secondly shes happy to hold eye contact with you, you should hold eye contact with her, normal eye contact not a stare, but dont flick your eyes all aroud, and dont stare at her tits for fuk sake.

Thirdly you make her laugh and she laughs a LITTLE bit to much at your crappy joke.

Fourthly she doesnt move back or retort in the slightest manner when you touch her on the arm, forearm, shoulder or when you speak in her ear (when nescessary, in a nightclub for example. Never touch her in the small of her back at this point it will totally ruin it because its thought of as a threatening thing (subconciously)) Do this while shes laughing, touch her on the shoulder and leave your hand there until shes stops laughing and be like 'I know I'm a comedic genius but its not THAT funny... youve had to much 7up, I think you should sit on the bold step until you calm down'.

Fifthly shes smiling alot while you speak.

Sixthly she will do small things you ask her to, i.e if youre holding a cold pint and you say 'oh my god my hand is freezing, feel it!' and hold your palm up like you would to do a hi5, she will put her hand in yours palm to palm. If you turn your hand down and keep holding her hand and she doesnt seem to mind, your pretty much golden, youve entered the main part of her personal space.

Now you need to kiss her right?

Touch her hair or something then ask her a question about it, tell her you like the colour of it, ask her is it natural. Tease her a bit, 'its not really natural though is it? its bleached right? you go home and wash it in honey and lemon juice twice a day to keep it that condition dont you? Dont lie to me I can tell when youre lieing! (by saying 'I can tell when youre...' youre implying you know her better than you actually do know her.)

Softly put your hand on her hip, get the moment right, you need a reason for this, you cant just stick your hand on her hip, say 'I need to tell you something...' lean in and whisper something in her ear, something strange and funny, 'check out the shoes on the girl beside me, I think shes the wicked witch of the west, what ya think? Theyre mad looking, shes scaring me!' or something better than that, I cant think right now. As you lean in you use 'need to' balance so you GENTLY place your fingertips on her hip 'for balance' then leave them there when you lean out. If youre still holding her hand prior to this from the cold-palm thing just lift her hand up and as you lean in and let go of it as you do so and place your hand on her hip. Basically youve just 'thrown' her hand onto your shoulder and placed your hand on a sensitive zone on her body (hip). Place your other hand on her other hip. She should tilt her head, make sure you maintain eye contact, then lean in and kiss her gently... and job done.


Now that was a lot of steps, but really it works out as only about 2 minutes of conversation. You dont have to include all the steps obviously, thats just a basic outline that covered all the bases, if you miss a step or accidently skip one, i.e place your hand on her hip before holding her hand, and she doesnt retort, your still good. You can skip straight over the first four phases if you project the right body language yourself (I'm a total body language nerd you may realise, fascinated by it) i.e go straight into touching her in non-invasive areas, arms shoulders etc... PM me if you want my opinion on anything else.

Harpie

Guess the cheese works on me :o

coco85

PEN1987 seems to have it down to a fine art!!!... I know this approach would work on me... just make sure to make it seem natural and not rehearsed!!!..

Us women tend to flick or hair, lick or lips (not too obviously but we do), smile and giggle alot when flirting.. watch out for these signs too!

Don't forget to be a gentleman and offer to buy her a drink, hold her jacket for her, open doors for her etc.. we like these things and hopefully after taking all this advice you will end up doing more then just kissing her!!!!

Best of Luck!:)

mumhaabu

Back in the day i'd ask the woman if she wanted to make out, cut the crap and straight to the good stuff, alot of women love it, alot don't. It is whether they are dominant or submissive and if the want an assertive guy or a guy they have wrapped around their little finger.

Overheal

Mmmm...cheese....

You'll know a kiss is on the cards when your faces are 12 inches apart and youre looking at eachother, pretty much. but theres no math or science to it OP - if you overthink it, it will just trip you up. Its an impulsive thing.

cant top Pen's advise: My only other tip is you have hands and they arent just for grabbing ass and boobies either - shoulders, neck, ear lobes, hips, back, arms - they arent numb! Run those fingers in slow small circles

Jack Sheehan

Jesus H that guy could write a book on it. I for one, would read it.

Enigma365

Usually body language helps. For example,if sitting down talking, brush your leg against hers in a subtle way. If she moves away shes not interested, if she doesnt, she prob is. If its the former, its no big deal, just keep on talking and she wont thnk anything of it. Someone can prob explain it in a better way but body language is the key.

bennyblanco

Sorry OP this is off topic but Pen1987,I'm interested in body language too,could you recommend a good book on it?

Pen1987

bennyblanco wrote: »

Sorry OP this is off topic but Pen1987,I'm interested in body language too,could you recommend a good book on it?

Em... I've read alot of stuff that isnt 'a body language book' that I found most beneficial in learning about BL. Books on sales techniques more so than books on the body language of flirting/love. What exactly are you looking to learn about it for, is it so you can know the type of stuff I wrote on above?

Specifically a book on BL, I'd say George Hartley 'How to spot a liar' or his newer one which is more general but I cant remember the title. Both would be a decent platform to build on a real knowledge of BL.

Coco85 wrote:

Don't forget to be a gentleman and offer to buy her a drink, hold her jacket for her, open doors for her etc.. we like these things and hopefully after taking all this advice you will end up doing more then just kissing her!!!!

Gentleman, yes. Hold her jacket, depends on the situation. Open doors, yes. Buy her a drink, no almost certainly not ever.

Jack sheehan wrote:

Jesus H that guy could write a book on it. I for one, would read it.

I was seriously considering writing a thread with a load of details about how to handle things like getting a kiss, asking a woman out, conversing with women etc etc, things that are brought up in PI time and time again but my ego hasnt bloomed enough for me to thing anyone would bother listening thank jayzuz!