What bullcrap confessions did you make?

Feelgood

Do you remember the days of school confessions?. Do remember kneeling in the church with your mates making up things to tell the priest?.

The good auld one liners like "I didn't fill the coal bucket when my ma asked me to" and "I stole 50p from me da's trousers" etc etc.

I had a mate one time that went up and confessed lies for about 10 minutes and then his very last confession was "I lied to the priest at confessions". Hehe!.

So what dilly of a pickles did you tell the man in black?

CountingCrows

That I sold that ticking fishing gear to Lord Mount Baton

JaneyMc

I could honestly never remember stuff I had done when I went, so I just told him general stuff like I lied to my Mam, didn't clean my room, hit my sibling etc.... Stuff I probably had done.

Steve_o

Father.... I killed a man....

CountingCrows

Steve_o wrote: »

Father.... I killed a man....

Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger,now hes dead,

Deity

Ahhh Yes, those were the days..
When school "teachers" where forcing innocent children to make up lies to fifty year old angry graying virgins on the other side of a darkend mesh timber framed pedo den.

Those days are long sinse passed, but the memories shall always remain in our hearts..

Feelgood

Steve_o wrote: »

Father.... I killed a man....

Limerick City??. Can't say that suprises me...:p

RxQueen

in my first confession , i told him that i stuck my middle finger up at my brother and that i was very very sorry! , he laughed at me!!

havent been to confession in about 6 years, sure id have loads to tell him now:p

MJOR

was mean to my brothers, did not help my mum with the wash up.


God if i had to go now the things i could tell;)

July

I threw Peanuts into the river!

Feelgood

MJOR wrote: »

God if i had to go now the things i could tell;)

Yeah I reckon boards should have a confession forum for the laugh....

The mods can get ordained by the Universal Life Church and away we go...

Naos

Deity wrote: »

Ahhh Yes, those were the days..
When school "teachers" where forcing innocent children to make up lies to fifty year old angry graying virgins on the other side of a darkend mesh timber framed pedo den.

Those days are long sinse passed, but the memories shall always remain in our hearts..

Kids no longer have to go for confession before making Communion/Confirmation, whenever we went?

Anyway I hated it - thought it was pointless, the 'pressure'. I just said usual stuff, "Said a bad word" etc.

FunkZ

I think I've only been to confession the once

Piste

In our school each year has an assembly for some reason, maybe it's an important time of year, and people go to the priest at the side of the room and confess stuff. People just make things up, you're not forced to go but people STILL do out of a sense of guilt or something.

Rob_l

This thread and everyone in it is going to hell!

Repent now ye Sinners!

I never told the priest a lie I always had a lot of "sins" to confess.

Steve_o

CountingCrows wrote: »

Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger,now hes dead,

heheh this gave me a good laugh, nice one!!:D

KBarry

I only went to confession twice in my life. The first time was a very traumatic experience. The church didn't have the little confession boxes, it was a big-ish room. I had a vague idea that there would be a priest in there and I'd have to tell him what a naughty boy I had been and how very sorry I was. Anyway, it was kind of dark and creepy in there and no priest. I assumed he'd gone for a slash or something so sat down. Then a voice from nowhere said "Hello."
I shat myself, ran out into the church and screamed "THERE'S A GHOST!!!" before breaking down into a mad sobbing fit.
I hadn't noticed the little partition into the room next door where the priest was.....
When my mum had finally calmed me down enough to do it again, only at the altar (no way was I going back in there alone) my first confession was.... "I haven't been going to Sunday school. I've been playing football at the park with my mates."
I'm sure the priest thought it was funny.

Ruu_Old

It was always the same thing, shouted at my brother or didn't do what I was told. I really wanted to say nicked money from the collection:pac: (someone did from the collection boxes one Sunday and it was announced on the parish bulletin)

trowelled

I was having this conversation the other day. My personal favourite was I didn't do the housework when my mam asked me to. I used to have a good think about it before I went into the confessional, "now what crap can I spurt today?" Although the thing I probably lied the most about was thw whole it has been ???? since my last confession. Could never remember when I'd actuaaly last gone so would just say whatever first came to mind. It's for things like that that I'm going straight to hell

nobodythere

Picking my nose.

I was living in sin!

Toto Wolfcastle

trowelled wrote: »

Although the thing I probably lied the most about was thw whole it has been ???? since my last confession. Could never remember when I'd actuaaly last gone so would just say whatever first came to mind. It's for things like that that I'm going straight to hell

I always said 6 months. It was never actually 6 months but I could never remember. I always felt really guilty about it too.

It's a bit stupid making kids go to confession. I mean, I understand the idea behind it, but it's a bit pointless if people are just going to lie!

Pythia

None, cos I'm not Catholic.

Fad

it has been several years since my last confession

its an achievement though, seeing as in my school there is confession every term, theyve stopped making people go up now, and any time they do make me go up, i just do a lap of the chaple and sit back down

the joys of non belief in a catholic school,

i do however remember saying something about hitting my sister because she broke the chain on my bike, especially elaborate as i didnt have a bike at the time

DublinWriter

I love the bit in Ulysses where Molly Bloom is remembering her first confession, it went something like:

- I let a boy touch me, Father
- Where, my child?
- By the canal
- I meant where abouts on your person

Jack Sheehan

I think the first time i went up i said 'I tried to murder my sister with a knife'. After hearing about everyone stolen 10ps and swearwords he was a wee bit shocked at that one.

burgess1

I scared the neighbours' cat.

lorweld

Ruu wrote: »

It was always the same thing, shouted at my brother or didn't do what I was told. I really wanted to say nicked money from the collection:pac: (someone did from the collection boxes one Sunday and it was announced on the parish bulletin)

Hahaha announced on the parish bulletin!!!!!!!!!

I remember my sister had a 20 pence piece, she threw it into the collection plate and took 10p back for sweets on the way home. My father nearly killed her!

One time I went to confession, with my primary school. It was in a room with a curtain type partition which the priest sat behind. I remember been a bit distracted when I saw the priest reading The Irish Times as he was supposed to be listening to my confession!

mollydolly271

i always found it hard to make up silly childish things to say like fighting with my brother and not helping my mam,but seriously i am always asking my dad (he goes to confession now) what does he actually say?? i mean he's a good living man that wouldnt be doing nothing wrong maybe bad language thats about it but does he really say things like that?? he just gets annoyed with me and wont answer, but seriously what do grown ups say???

tuxy

mollydolly271 wrote: »

i always found it hard to make up silly childish things to say like fighting with my brother and not helping my mam,but seriously i am always asking my dad (he goes to confession now) what does he actually say?? i mean he's a good living man that wouldnt be doing nothing wrong maybe bad language thats about it but does he really say things like that?? he just gets annoyed with me and wont answer, but seriously what do grown ups say???

Well I think most adult would have thoughts that the church would consider impure, so perhaps he confesses about this.

boneless

I got drunk on Saturday night and went out to my neighbours garden and blew chunks.
















Chunks is the neighbours dog.... :eek: