Uh oh, I think i made him mad!

Requiem4adream

So here i am minding my own business as usual late on a wednesday night when i hear a rather disturbing large noise coming from the vicinity of a Kit-Kat wrapper. Armed with a shoe, i approach with caution. Flick the wrapper and low n behold the King Mo-Fo of the Cockroach Underworld comes at me. What am i to do, every man for himself imo. The first blow winded him, the 2nd looked a killer, the proceeding 25 were overkill. I sit back down.

10 mins later i turn to look at the crime scene and the body has disappeared. By this stage i'm panicking. Scouring the room, every nook n cranny for this superhuman (errrr) insect. Tracked him down attempting an escape into the hallway, 1 final blow to the head and he's stuck to my shoe. Dead? I think not. Scared? Yes. He has friends one assumes. This could be a very long night.


Ok guys now is the time to share your extensive knowledge of the beasts and a P.O.A. for the night and beyond. How does one go about defeating these little bastards long term?! How irrational is it on a scale of 1-10 to be weirded out by them?

tribulus

Please tell me you're not in Ireland? I cannot deal with those things they freak me out.

You're better off getting insect pesticide and going nuts on them. It's kind of cruel watching them writhe in agony but it's far more efficient that stamping on their exoskeletons.

It's perfectly rational!

//shudders

Bros123

Don't crush it,all that does is spread its eggs everywhere.Wrap it up in 44 layers of cling film and put it in the oven for 2 days.That should work.

Bijoux

Bros123 wrote: »

Don't crush it,all that does is spread its eggs everywhere.Wrap it up in 44 layers of cling film and put it in the oven for 2 days.That should work.

Love your idea :pac:

What i tend to do with insects is extend the hoover pipe as long as it will go, and vacuum the féckers. Leave the hoover on for a while after they've been sucked up, in case they get stuck in the pipe and crawl back out.
*shudders*

Requiem4adream

tribulus wrote: »

Please tell me you're not in Ireland? I cannot deal with those things they freak me out.

You're better off getting insect pesticide and going nuts on them. It's kind of cruel watching them writhe in agony but it's far more efficient that stamping on their exoskeletons.

It's perfectly rational!

//shudders

'Fraid so

In the process of moving , the mammy insisted i bring the flippin spare Iron that was in the shed to the new apartment. Which in itself is kinda funny seeing as i strategically moved half a mile away in the first place so not to need to use one!!!!

Anyway on the 1st night in the apartment heard noises emanating from the bag containing the iron. Low n behold a cockroach. My girlfriend in her infinite wisdom pleaded "dont kill it!!!" so being a tool i listened and threw the fecker and the bag out the patio door. In a Saving Private Ryan style twist, this has come back to haunt me.

Now time for the retrospective mind-****:

1. Is this the same cockroach?
2. Did the cockroach come in the bag or did the bag look like a snug little bed for the night? /SHUDDER.
3. Has my mercy bred a whole colony of them? Gestation period of a cockroach anyone?! Let the fecker go about a month ago.

Ruu_Old

They've clearly won, get out while you still can! Torch the room.

Fringe

Nuclear bombs. Oh wait shi--!

Requiem4adream

Ruu wrote: »

They've clearly won, get out while you still can! Torch the room.

lol. is there anywhere in particular i should start looking for a possible infestation/colony/buildup of troops? I wonder do these things take kindly to their brethern being brutally attacked. Self Defence of course.

Xavi6

Just embrace them. Adopt their customs and mate with their women.

You for one should welcome your new insect overlords.

hussey

1. Is this the same cockroach?

No, this is his son looking for his paw

2. Did the cockroach come in the bag or did the bag look like a snug little bed for the night? /SHUDDER.

Bed

3. Has my mercy bred a whole colony of them? Gestation period of a cockroach anyone?! Let the fecker go about a month ago.

For every one you don't see, there 20 of his kids ... they probably have already shat on your cornflakes mate.

And WTF are you listening to a cockroach loving tree-hugger for??

You need to grow a set of balls, and when you see them jump for higher ground and spray them to death from above, whilst screaming in a ned flanders voice - like the rest of us men

BraziliaNZ

oh come on they don't have them in Ireland, I've never seen one and lived there most of my life

Edit: hmmm maybe there are a few around
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/features/2007/0802/1185230371378.html

I've never seen one though

brianthebard

DDT ftw.Who cares about the eco system when bugs need to die??

FlutterinBantam

Get yourself some very strong rubber bands and have them to hand at all times.

When these dudes appear take aim and loose your band at your target.
It's quite a skillful operation and the satisfaction of knocking over your first hit is great.I lived in South Africa for some time and the geezers there are beefy to say the least,but by the time i left I could take out at 20-25 feet unerringly.

Great for hand eye co-ordination and satisfies the sense of fair play involved.

RxQueen

Requiem4adream wrote: »

'Fraid so

In the process of moving , the mammy insisted i bring the flippin spare Iron that was in the shed to the new apartment. Which in itself is kinda funny seeing as i strategically moved half a mile away in the first place so not to need to use one!!!!

Anyway on the 1st night in the apartment heard noises emanating from the bag containing the iron. Low n behold a cockroach..

I think yore ma , knew it was in the box and was the only way she could get rid of it from her shed, very cruel thing to do "down with this sort of thing"

so end result , blame your mother for it ,and say you now to upset to ever go near an iron again, which will result in her doing all you ironing forever. Turn this very tragic story into some happiness for you at least.

Naos

Wow Fluttering, I think that's the first post I've read of yours which didn't contain some reference to a sh1t.

OP: Perhaps the kind folk over at the Zombie Survival forum would be able to offer better advice?

Lord Muck

make a pact with man's other household enemy , the spider , the arachnoid held sway over the dark creepy crawley places for the last 2000 years on this fair land and now seem to be getting pushed to one side by this freign host ( for they have little love for the chitinous hords of satin ) united together , you can start a guerilla campaign against the roaches .
Good Luk and God Speed

LouOB

I once killed one on holiday with hairspray - plastered it to the floor

Steve_o

A rebellion is all you can do now, if you've seen one that means the house is infested... Can on lynx and a lighter FTW!!!

BaconZombie

You have two chooses either:

http://jp.youtube.com/watch?v=3lv8pq77Qas


or {the better option}

http://jp.youtube.com/watch?v=faFuaYA-daw


Option 1 : Only works if you drink a crap load and take a load of drugs.

Option 2 : Is your only option.......

nobodythere

In california for the summer, try killing ****ing dragonflies, like winged cockroaches argh!

Michellenman

AFAIK cockroaches can live for summat like 8 days with out their head.

You're in for a mighty battle, my son.

JaneyMc

I was on holidays in Spain a few years ago, and I woke up with a dead cockroach in the bed beside me.
I spent the whole holiday petrified to go asleep then. Bought one of those net things. Then I discovered they were able to fly. I didnt not sleep until I got home. :mad: