Do i leave?

LegacyUser

Going unreg from this, in a bit of a state atm.
Basically my grandad has pancreatic cancer, has done for the last year. He got an infection last week, and isn't doing too good. People have begun planning to fly home etc.

I'm going into 6th year, and on friday I'm supposed to be going to spain to learn spanish - classes monday-friday for a few hours. It's all been paid for etc, a little under 2000 in total.

I love my grandad to bits, and I already can't deal with the fact that he's dying. But now I have to make the decision of wether to go on friday.

I have 2 options:

A)fly over on friday and be flown back when something happens (which it will, just dont know when)

or

wait a week, see what happens and go over then.

I'm really stumped to be honest, it's such a **** decision to have to make.
My mum's intuition says to go... but i feel like an absolute selfish cow going. But then again (again sounding so selfish) the last time i saw him.. 12 days ago.. he wasn;t doing too badly.. and that's how i want to remember him


any advice or anything would be great. sorry if that didnt make sense

LoanShark

HI,
Sorry to hear about your Grandad..I honestly dont know what to tell you..

But,Tell him all the things you want to say to him..

If you feel you cant watch him in this condition then 'maybe' going away might be the best thing..

Nevyn

Go.

As much as well we love our grandparents and it is upsetting to loose them we have our own lifes to lead and we will bury our parents in thier own time.

If ether of my grand mothers had of thought I was putting off living my life and availing of all the joys and possibilities it afforded they would have hit me a right slap.

Hold the memory of who he was to you dearly,
be there for you parents as they need you,
carry forward all that he and your parents have done for you in living the best life possible and benefiting others
including any kids you may happen to have on the way.

Weidii

As Thaedydal said, I'm sure your Grandfather would want you to go.

MagicMarker

My grandmother had been sick for months due to cancer and the doctors said the end was very near about 6 months ago. My uncle flew over at the time from Canada to say goodbye and be there with her at the end. Turns out, she fooled everyone because she didn't die until this very morning.

My point being, you don't know what's going to happen. Go away to Spain, if needs be you can come back during the week if anything happens. But don't let it go to waste.

Drift

What would your grandad have told you to do?

He would've told you to go. I'm certain of it, and if you think about it you'll come to the same conclusion. None of our grandparents would ever want us to put our life on hold for them.

Go and try to enjoy yourself OP because that is what your grandad would want either way.

I wish you and your family all the best.

littlefriend

Personally I wouldn't go. Spain and Spanish lessons will be there forever.
I know it is your grandparent and he is at the end of his natural life but really I think we kind of owe it to our family to be there.
Do you think your grandfather would go if it were you on deaths door? Would he be saying ah I'd like to remember her good days?

I think you know in your heart you shouldn't go on what is essentially a holiday but are looking for ppl to let you off the hook and tell you its alright to leave.

Just my opinion - quite a few ppl close to me have died so I feel quite strongly about this.

MagicMarker

Spain and spanish lessons will always be there but 2000 euro won't.

The OP can do nothing here, if the worst happens then he/she can get on a plane straight away. Just like if they were sitting at home they can get in a car and go to the hospital the only difference is the time consumed in the travel.

LolaLuv

I know it isn't much help, but do whichever you would regret the most in the future. It's really only something you can decide.

Dont be at yourself

A week of Spanish lessons, and indeed 2000 euro, are inconsequential over the course of one's life. With such troubles, you surely wouldn't enjoy your time in Spain as you might, and what Spanish you might learn in a week can be easily learned at another time!

Despite what people may say, your grandfather will want you to be around. If he's passing on, he will undoubtedly want to say goodbye, and surely you feel likewise. On top of this, this will be a hard time for the whole family, and everyone should be together to support each other.

If you go to your Spanish lessons, they'll be completely forgotten in a year. If you don't take the chance to give your grandfather the send-off he deserves, you may never forget it.

Overheal

My Grandma just passed at the start of July and while I was blessed to be back in the States for her passing and funeral I conciously neglected to go see her on what was otherwise her death bed - just hearing about her medical condition was enough for me, and I didn't want to go and tarnish the memory of her by seeing her covered in health monitors and breathing devices. I still got to see her casket at the funeral - she was beautiful - and I was one of her polebearers.

As Thaedydal says, your grandfather would want you to live your life and live up to your potential. And its probably best to have remember a warm image of them that isnt muddied up by life support devices and the like.

Just spend some time with him before you go: have a good one to one chat; let him know how you are; what you're doing; where you're going; etc. Grandparents seem to live for that kinda stuff

littlefriend

MagicMarker wrote: »

Spain and spanish lessons will always be there but 2000 euro won't.

WOW

MJOR

I think go... You can fly home in the event of his death. It'll be a sad and emotional time though. Do you think you'll be ok in a foreign country on your own? Surely in this event the company would refund you. It's a tough call but only one you can make yourself

Miss Fluff

Contact the company in Spain and see if you can defer for a few weeks. If they have a beating heart at all they should understand. Spain will always be there, your beloved Grandad won't and why not spend some time with him, and supporting your family as it sounds like he doesn't have long left.

Henry Ford III

Check out travel ins. fully. - Some policies will pay for a flight home in the event of the death of a relative.

Long shot but you'd never know.

RedXIV

I would say stay. My aunt was abroad while her dad was on her deathbed because the trip had been paid for and even now, 10 years after his death she still has regrets. I'd prefer to be a bit out of pocket than living with regrets for that long.


P.S. Condolances MagicMarker