Confused; what do i do?

MIN2511

Hello Everyone, I need a bit of advice on men. No need to go unreg!
3 weeks ago I was out for a friend’s dinner and we decided to go to a bar/nightclub after dinner, most of my mates where lads and we were chatting. Downstairs in the nightclub there was this really hot bloke and I swear I married him and had his kids-literally
We made eye contact all through the night and I expected him to approach me, his mate did though and was chatting me up. I told his mate that I fancied his friend (hot bloke) and he said he was gonna tell him (he didn’t!) the mate asked for my number, I thought it was for his mate so I gave it to him
Last week I was in another bar/nightclub and I saw these same lads, I wasn’t sure where I saw them so I said nothing. We were outside smoking and the entire really hot bloke asked my mate about her tattoo and they started a conversation...
We then established that we met at the other bar previously, by then really hot bloke had taken my mates number he then asked me where my boyfriend was? And I explained to him that I am single, he thought I had a bf so he didn’t want to be rude. We were talking generally and he said he really liked me, thought I had a bf and knows it would be rude to take my number since he had my mates... Very true! Because that would have been rude, the said mate was pining over another fella (no interest in really hot guy)
Really hot guy and the mate have been texting, and this mate is one of my best mates! She tells me everything! She knows I like him, especially because I moaned about him the first time I saw him, she finds it hard to tell me stuff between them because she feels I am jealous.
Fast forward to this morning, we were chatting away about lads and all and she goes she would give me really hot guy’s number and stop texting him, she proceeded to text me saying the same thing and that she feels guilty. Out of curiosity I told her to send me his number, to my suprise she did!!!
Now what do I do? Do I text him, forget about him and tell her she can keep him(literally)

homerjay2005

3some ftw!!!!!! :D:D:D

dunno, i got a bit confused there towards the end:o . does your mate actually like him or what?

He is yours. Nab him.
But get her to pass on your details to him, as if you don't know about it.

MIN2511

homerjay2005 wrote: »

3some ftw!!!!!! :D:D:D

dunno, i got a bit confused there towards the end:o . does your mate actually like him or what?

I think she does, we like the same men! Although that night she preferred to other fella so i don't think so. He's younger than her but older than me! She likes him but knowing her i don't think she likes him as much. And she would be quick to dump him if the other fella shows keen interest

RedXIV

As the world knows, we men are simple creatures, god knows it's not hard to get our attention. Now here's the thing, the main issue i'd be worried about is between you and your mate, unless you are CERTAIN this is not gonna cause bad blood, i'd leave it, thousands more fellas out there that won't break up a friendship. If you're sure there will be no hard feelings, well then, lets the games begin.

First off, You need to meet the guy one on one, without your mate present, This is important that you distinguish between the two of you. Now if you text him out of the blue, this might not go down that well, because he won't have the full story between you and your mate. if possible, what i would do is get your mate to text and say she's either got a new fella or she's gay or SOMETHING to rule her out of the picture, something that will prevent him from thinking he's got two girls into him. This is very important. If you text without her out of the picture, he's going to sit on the fence as long as possible.

Also, if this guy has already said he liked you, then say it back. none of your cheeky mind games Get the friend thing sorted first, everything else will fall into place after that

Red

MIN2511

RedXIV wrote: »

As the world knows, we men are simple creatures, god knows it's not hard to get our attention. Now here's the thing, the main issue i'd be worried about is between you and your mate, unless you are CERTAIN this is not gonna cause bad blood, i'd leave it, thousands more fellas out there that won't break up a friendship. If you're sure there will be no hard feelings, well then, lets the games begin.

First off, You need to meet the guy one on one, without your mate present, This is important that you distinguish between the two of you. Now if you text him out of the blue, this might not go down that well, because he won't have the full story between you and your mate. if possible, what i would do is get your mate to text and say she's either got a new fella or she's gay or SOMETHING to rule her out of the picture, something that will prevent him from thinking he's got two girls into him. This is very important. If you text without her out of the picture, he's going to sit on the fence as long as possible.

Also, if this guy has already said he liked you, then say it back. none of your cheeky mind games Get the friend thing sorted first, everything else will fall into place after that

Red

Hey!

I don't do mind games!!! Tbh, she said she is but i don't know 100%(i never take a persons response) like i told her on the first night she met him but she still texted him regardless over the last few days, so it's weird that she would suggest this. She's a cool mate and i dont want this to bother me...


Normally i would go party on, life is short move on to the next fella but i do like him then again i could be messing with him too

Mind games!!!!!

Wibbs

RedXIV wrote: »

As the world knows, we men are simple creatures, god knows it's not hard to get our attention. Now here's the thing, the main issue i'd be worried about is between you and your mate, unless you are CERTAIN this is not gonna cause bad blood, i'd leave it, thousands more fellas out there that won't break up a friendship. If you're sure there will be no hard feelings, well then, lets the games begin.

First off, You need to meet the guy one on one, without your mate present, This is important that you distinguish between the two of you.

Also, if this guy has already said he liked you, then say it back. none of your cheeky mind games Get the friend thing sorted first, everything else will fall into place after that

You won't get much better counsel than that I reckon.

entropi

Wibbs wrote: »

You won't get much better counsel than that I reckon.

+1 you know the advice that Red would give is always sound advice. I couldnt have said it better myself.

Beetlebum

Stop saying literally out of context...it's really infuriating!!

My opinion on your situation is, if you like this guy and are certain that your friend is cool with you hooking up with him then go for it. As Red said, make sure your friend lets him know she's not interested first otherwise he may think you're disloyal and two-faced going behind your friends back.

Call him up, don't text him, have fun!

MJOR

If your friend isn't interested and you are then go for it, as Red says though clear up everything with your mate first because i'd say you don't wanna fall out with her!

He sounds interested in you though Min!!:D

I love that first flush of being crazy about someone!

Good Luck:D:D

MIN2511

Cheers guys, am at her gaff... She says it's okay but she also isn't saying much....

I might show her this thread and see what she says, i would ring him

LadyE

MIN2511 wrote: »

Cheers guys, am at her gaff... She says it's okay but she also isn't saying much....

I might show her this thread and see what she says, i would ring him

Min, if she isnt saying much then chances are then she isnt 100% happy with i t..in your gut what do you think she feels? She prob isnt saying much because she doesnt want to hold you back and come across the bitch?!

Ask her, would she prefer that you took it no further?

Dont show her thread...your want her honest thought on it and not for her to feel that she HAS to say its ok..because other people do!

xxx

MJOR

MIN2511 wrote: »

Cheers guys, am at her gaff... She says it's okay but she also isn't saying much....

I might show her this thread and see what she says, i would ring him

OOh if she is quiet maybe she is not cool with it>?

Pen1987

Arrange for all three of you plus his mate that she likes to meet in one of the bars again, or get her to arrange it with him. See how she reacts around the two lads. Tell the one you like to his face. None of this out-of-the-blue ****, it scares me.

AngryBadger

Honestly, I wonder if this guy is playing you both, a kind of "double your fun" bid. I mean both nights you saw him he was chatting someone else up, right? And it's your friend giving you his number, (even though, presumably, she likes him as well), not him giving you his own number.

If it were me, (and I've been in this situation ebfore), I'd leave him to your mate, he's expressed an interest in her, and you're intervention (even with her blessing) could lead to bad feelings down the line.

Unless it's one of the ladies you brought to the beers last week, in which case you can give her my number, then you can have your way with El Toro Supremo...as he shall henceforth be known.

secman

The two of ye should ring me :D:D:D

tobiesheba

If you're unsure as to whether or not your friend is OK with this I would be inclined to leave it for now anyway.

If she was getting vibes from you that you felt you'd seen this guy first but missed out because of a mis-understanding she may have felt you weren't happy for her.

And she might also feel that seeing as you had seen this guy before and spotted and him and tried to make contact she may think that you felt that she had encroached on your patch so to speak.

If you pursue this I do think it could lead to problems down the line within your friendship. However if you're certain that she's OK with it - go for it!

Maybe ask her to tell the guy that she's not interested and then you meet him casually for coffee or something and take it from there. I really wouldn't advise ringing him up and saying "my friend said I can have you - let's get it on". Just don't expect that you and he are perfect for each other just because ye were eyeing each other up a few times.

MIN2511

AngryBadger wrote: »

Honestly, I wonder if this guy is playing you both, a kind of "double your fun" bid. I mean both nights you saw him he was chatting someone else up, right? And it's your friend giving you his number, (even though, presumably, she likes him as well), not him giving you his own number.

If it were me, (and I've been in this situation ebfore), I'd leave him to your mate, he's expressed an interest in her, and you're intervention (even with her blessing) could lead to bad feelings down the line.

Unless it's one of the ladies you brought to the beers last week, in which case you can give her my number, then you can have your way with El Toro Supremo...as he shall henceforth be known.

hahahaha yes, she's the one you met last week, one of the girls...

And he did ask me for my number in a friendly way that night and i refused cause i thought it was rude(HE SAID WE COULD BE FRIENDS!! HE ENJOYED HANGING OUT WITH ME!), apparently he thought i had a bf the first time he saw me!:(


Anyways, she used my phone to text him today saying "Hi xxxx, this is xxxx xxxx friend just wanted to say hi"

tbh i wasn't going to text him... I didn't have the balls to, not good at chasing men:D

He texted her saying "hey, your friend xxxx text me, did you give her my number?"

And she replied, "i did!"

He said; "strange you would, i am at work"

I am furious:mad: because i swear i would have left things like that and not texted him... I knew i wasn't going to... RedIX, LadyE & Wibbs y'all know i am a chicken within...

argh... and btw he hasn't replied the text!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:mad:

STUBBORNGIRL

MIN2511 wrote: »

hahahaha yes, she's the one you met last week, one of the girls...

And he did ask me for my number in a friendly way that night and i refused cause i thought it was rude(HE SAID WE COULD BE FRIENDS!! HE ENJOYED HANGING OUT WITH ME!), apparently he thought i had a bf the first time he saw me!:(


Anyways, she used my phone to text him today saying "Hi xxxx, this is xxxx xxxx friend just wanted to say hi"

tbh i wasn't going to text him... I didn't have the balls to, not good at chasing men:D

He texted her saying "hey, your friend xxxx text me, did you give her my number?"

And she replied, "i did!"

He said; "strange you would, i am at work"

I am furious:mad: because i swear i would have left things like that and not texted him... I knew i wasn't going to... RedIX, LadyE & Wibbs y'all know i am a chicken within...

argh... and btw he hasn't replied the text!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:mad:

AH i would leave him be after that! he cannot use the excuse of him being too busy for not replyin to you! he text your friend! what did he mean by he was in work! thats no excuse! he isnt worth the pain!

I think you should give angrybadger your friends number and he should text her exactly what she text that guy from your phone:)

Anyway lots of more guys out there that would text you back so dont get hung up on him - let your friend have him- he sounds really rude to be honest not to reply to your text !

Im jealous that beers night out sounds like fun -

MIN2511

STUBBORNGIRL wrote: »

AH i would leave him be after that! he cannot use the excuse of him being too busy for not replyin to you! he text your friend! what did he mean by he was in work! thats no excuse! he isnt worth the pain!

I think you should give angrybadger your friends number and he should text her exactly what she text that guy from your phone:)

Anyway lots of more guys out there that would text you back so dont get hung up on him - let your friend have him- he sounds really rude to be honest not to reply to your text !

Im jealous that beers night out sounds like fun -

hehehe....
There is always a next time, don't worry.. I can guarantee fun!!!!!

tbh i don't care much anyways, i reckon he would text me... If he doesn't tough! moved on already;)

Argh she would murder me! She thinks AB is cute but then she saw him whoringcharming the ladies

Wibbs

I honestly think he's hedging his bets tbh. He's not sure which one of you he wants, or he has someone else on the go. If he was really interested in either of you he would likely be more clear as I guarantee he knows there's interest there. The excuses about texting etc sound like BS to me tbh. Whether you're in work or not a text from a woman you like is welcome, not commented upon or avoided. Delayed maybe, but that's about it.

OK he thought your mate was single and up for something. He avoided you because he reckoned you had a boyfriend by looking at you(ehhhhh what? Uri Geller he must be). If I fancy someone I talk to her and throw some moves( truly sad to see ). I let her tell me if she's single or not. If she's not well then move on.

He now knows or suspects he has two women interested and it's feeding his ego. Your mate pining over the ex is naturally glad of the attention from hot guy, but as you say may not be interested beyond that or maybe a snog if you hadn't expressed an interest. If she's come out of a heavy relationship she probably feels insecure in herself and the dating scene again so hot guy is a nice ego boost. I'd say that's about it. She values your friendship more I reckon.

If it was me I'd leave it up to fate and see about meeting some other guy that you marry and have kids with. It may even be him, but let time work it out. It's more patient than we are.

MIN2511

Cheers!!!!


She just sent me a text "Hey, so whats the seal with XXXX, are you done with him?"

my response was
"Hey no word from him though... So happy days!!!"

And now i think she really never wanted to give me his number, maybe she wanted to test him... See if he would budge... well he didn't and now i am embarassed! Cause the chances of bumping into him are high:mad:

And she sent the text with my phone!!!! I would not have texted him(i didn't have the balls to go through)

Wibbs

Maybe she wanted to test him. Maybe she wanted to give you, her friend, the chance to see what would happen. I suspect the latter.

Yep it may be embarrasing for a time, but if she's just out of a something she may be the one in more need of advice. In any case 6 months down the line this will be a memory, no matter what happens. It's a cliche, but it's so true, what's for you won't go by you. Never more so than in matters of the heart.

MIN2511

Wibbs wrote: »

Maybe she wanted to test him. Maybe she wanted to give you, her friend, the chance to see what would happen. I suspect the latter.

Yep it may be embarrasing for a time, but if she's just out of a something she may be the one in more need of advice. In any case 6 months down the line this will be a memory, no matter what happens. It's a cliche, but it's so true, what's for you won't go by you. Never more so than in matters of the heart.

Thanks kind sir;)

I just feel like she messed with my emotions, if she wanted to test him she should have found some other means....


Would confront her bout it!!:mad:

STUBBORNGIRL

MIN2511 wrote: »

hehehe....
There is always a next time, don't worry.. I can guarantee fun!!!!!

tbh i don't care much anyways, i reckon he would text me... If he doesn't tough! moved on already;)

Argh she would murder me! She thinks AB is cute but then she saw him whoringcharming the ladies

So thats why Angrybadger is still single -

you should really move on before he texts you! This guy sounds like trouble and hot or not that sort of sh!te you do not need in your life!

TBH if i was in your situation and the guy went off with my friend in the first place i would not give him a second look! Move on - you dont want to be anyones second best! if he didnt know he wanted you from the start then he is not worth it!

AngryBadger

MIN2511 wrote: »

hehehe....
There is always a next time, don't worry.. I can guarantee fun!!!!!

tbh i don't care much anyways, i reckon he would text me... If he doesn't tough! moved on already;)

Argh she would murder me! She thinks AB is cute but then she saw him whoringcharming the ladies

HEY!.....I mean, hey

Fine. Guilty as charged. I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way

Nevyn

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