Advice please?

LegacyUser

Hi people.

First off - For some reason or other i was looking through my girlfriends phone the other day and read a few texts to and from her friend. The subject of the texts was prostitution and escort services. Now i have nothing wrong with talking about either of these but that wasn't really the case. They were both talking about looking to 'get into' either of these. I don't know who instigated the talk of all this nor do I know if they have done anything regarding contacting anyone who would be willing to take them on (providing they were serious about it)
As i read them all quite quickly i didn't remember what most of them said but some of them were about stuff like finding regulars and stuff and her friend asking my gf would she tell me if she did get into it, which she replied no of course she wouldn't tell.

What make this worse is, when we were on holidays we seen prostitutes and my gf commented on the fact that she would do it - if she got well paid. This led to a blazing row.

I'm totally shocked over what i read and her intentions. How she can even consider getting into prostitution is beyond me - i thought she had more respect for herself than that.

I don't know what to do & i'm hoping someone might have some advice. I doubt this has happened many people so i'm hoping against hope really.

Thanks.

Loopy

Wow, thats a shocker alright. Prying in peoples phones can lead to all sorts of problems.

I would confront her about it. A lot of people prob disagree and would say walk away now but I think lay your cards on the table and tell her you saw the messages and are totally shocked.

Is she short of money that she would need an extra income? Are you in a long term steady relationship??

LegacyUser

We'll be a year together in October. She has a decent job so money isn't really a problem. The only time she has money difficulties is near the end of the month, as do I - but that's because we both get paid monthly.
I would obviously like to confront her but I would have to tell her how I found out and that would involve telling her I was looking through her phone.
My head is all over the place with this. I'm shocked, disgusted, worried.
I'm worried that if this is the path she chooses to take, it could be a very dangerous one.

We're both in love with each other (or so I thought) and am finding it so difficult to comprehend how she could even contemplate doing anything like that - not only to me, but her family, her friends...
Our sex life is great so I don't know why she would want to think about doing this.

Toots

looptheloop wrote: »

Prying in peoples phones can lead to all sorts of problems.

Definitely. Tread carefully if you do decide to confront her though, cos whatever way the conversation goes, she's gonna be pissed that you were looking through her phone. Is there any chance that she was simply joking with her friend with this? If she was, then you're going to come off looking pretty bad. Not only were you looking through her phone, but then you're accusing her of going on the game. If they were discussing it seriously, do you realistically think she'd admit to it? Is she faithful otherwise? You need to weigh these things up before you go asking her any questions.

RandomDave

If it's not something you're willing to accept in a girlfriend, talk to her about that...

RedXIV

As the others said, no matter what is said, you're gonna get it thrown back at you for looking through her phone. But if i saw those kind of messages, i'd want clarification.

I'd talk to her about it. It is possible that you have the wrong context but your not gonna get any peace of mind until you know so say it to her.

Personally i'd start with an apology for browsing through the phone, get that out of the way and then go ahead with what you want to know

Enigma365

Well whatever about looking through her phone, presumably you cannot just ignore what you read and pretend you never saw it(judging by your description of how you feel). Therefore your only option really is to talk about it. If she was serious, then the fact that you were looking through her phone seems like small potatoes in comparison. But if she was joking or just having a fanciful non serious conversation with her friend, then you are going to look bad in so many ways. Also theres a strong possibility that she will say she wasn't being serious, even if she was and you will have no way to prove otherwise.

There doesnt seem to be any easy solution to this one, but I think you have to bite the bullet and talk to her about it. What else can you do?